leonard267 Posts

Don't need to worry about not getting an honourable mention or winning. I see events like these as an excuse to write knowing that I can badger others to read what I wrote.

You know it is not my style! I prefer something more direct, more concise and more importantly, more disgusting. You see, if I were to describe something too much in detail it would not be as shocking or entertaining.

I can't say that I agree with this approach to reading though I was taught in Literature class that this ought to be the way to approach literature.

Let me be crass here, this approach is basically giving the license for the author to come with whatever he wants. It doesn't matter if it is doesn't make sense since the reader can come to any conclusion he likes anyway.

I have argued this with some people who say that I need to use my 'imagination' to better appreciate what the author is trying to convey. To that I say, if that were really the case, I don't need the author to put in any effort to properly convey things. All I need to do is to imagine. Why do I need the author?

Finally, if I were to take that approach and come to an 'answer', I will be very sure that it would be different from your 'answer'. crazr thinks that this is a piece that makes one rethink his life. I say that the reason why the author hates the summer is because of how repetitive and meaningless each day is, not some statement about life. (Otherwise why call it 'Roundabout'?) Two readers coming to two different conclusions doesn't feel right to me.

Some say that is the beauty of literature - the fact that it can be interpreted in anyway. As a reader of non-fiction and contracts however, I shudder to think that a piece of writing can be interpreted in anyway the reader likes. This goes back to what I said about stories conveying things properly. A story that can be interpreted in many ways is very likely a story that does a poor job in conveyance.

The same question Leonard asked Jane and Austin.

As for people disliking my work, well, I'd be concerned if everyone thinks my work is either horrible or good. It seems wrong. There would usually be some would like it and those who dislike it.

That aside, I hope you aren't into gerontoporn! I had enough of that with Shikinokami!

There are twists and there is quite a lot of silly behaviour in this entry. Did you miss the part where Leonard asks, "How is your sex life?"?1. Have you tried picturing Jane and Austin who I think are approaching their eighties trying to have sex?!

Though I agree it is not an angry monologue. A lot of it was based on my trip to Sichuan. I assure you that I didn't see old people doing it though but a doctor trained in Tibetan medicine asked me some funny questions and I had had a bad experience with alcohol.

PS: Actually I am quite happy that someone didn't like it. Very refreshing.

But what I am really concerned about is that you find people asking about bedroom performance out of the blue and old people having sex ordinary! Hoho.

I mistook "fair, ebony skin" for "fair, ivory skin". I thought 'fair' meant 'fair complexion' not 'beautiful complexion'.

I apologise for coming off as a pessimist or a wet towel. A very snide or sarcastic way of looking at things seem to agree with my sense of humour.

Have you read crazr's "Flight of Stairs"? To make it more entertaining, I pictured the two female lovers as an old lady and a seductress. The seductress of course would like to con the old lady into letting her inherit her wealth after the old lady dies.

This of course is not how crazr envisioned his story.

I don't feel the same way though. I am unable to connect to monologues like these. How does waking up, performing things as mundane as finding out that the wristwatch is out of order lead to me contemplating about my own life? I can't make that connection.

Ironic I know. I usually write angry monologues. Speaking of angry monologues, this entry would be made better in my eyes if it went into a hysterical tirade or written in a sarcastic manner like,

"I hate the summer. There is plenty of sunshine, the scenery is wonderful, it is longest season of the year, the economy is booming since everyone is in the mood to spend, the solar panels have increased output, climate alarmists can look forward to earning a lot of money penning articles claiming that it is the hottest day ever since the dawn of civilisation and my ex-wife might die of a heat stroke. Yet, I still hate the summer. Perhaps I should get a lobotomy."

(Admittedly, there is no purpose in that angry monologue but throwing out bizarre associations with the summer is quite entertaining)

Jokes aside and in summary what I found lacking was why the protagonist hated the summer which I thought was what the monologue was trying to answer. I know it is clearly stated that he doesn't know but then why the protagonist felt the need to go through day to day activities? What is the significance of finding out that the watch is powered by movement?

Why tell me this and what is the main point of the monologue? (The answer might be in the title but the monologue ought to address this and then say, "That is why I hate the summer.")

By the way, Sound of Destiny, now that I have expressed why I didn't take it to your story, could you try bashing reading my entry as well?

A Trip Up the Mountains

The villagers wanted them dead and I don't associate with red eyes and pale skin with angelic beings, quite the opposite. Reading through again, I see that Marcus found them angelic. I would cynically say that he might be bound by some kind of spell.

The story struck me as a very contained short story that served as a tragedy with a simple plot rather than a fully developed mystery story with a complex plot. It wouldn't spoil things I think if everything were revealed. In fact, I think it would make me appreciate the story even more. If Stella and Solana were really dangerous beings it would make the story all the more tragic.

I can't help thinking that some readers might arrive at the conclusion that this story would end badly just by the tone of the first few paragraphs. I remember analysing a tragic story in Literature class a while ago. I came off with the impression that sad short stories usually reveal everything at the start so that the readers can indulge in the misery of the rest of the story.

PS: The mother was named after the stars while the daughter is named after the sun. Strange names for creatures of the night if you ask me.



Not as confident as her or you. She aided and abetted very dangerous people. Being an accomplice to a crime is punishable by law in most places. I think it would be even worse if you replace law with lynch mobs.

The more I think about it, the stranger it feels. She knew that her son was about to die and yet she was very composed. Makes me wonder Margery is really Marcus' mother.



Now I consider my entry to be a prank rather than a story, though I tried to make it comedic. It almost falls under the mystery genre but I didn't indicate that they are riddles to solve!

While I would like a fuller explanation of why Stella and Solana were considered abominations, the story certainly moved me.

Most of the entries for contests like these feel like excerpts of a story rather than an entire story due to the word limit. Some of them come across as purely descriptive with motivations, background and context not made clear. I could have disliked your story if it were purely about the characters being burnt to death and the anguish they felt as they were being hounded.

What I think made me like your entry is most certainly the attempts to give a bit of background information of which the dialogue between Marcus and his mother accomplished. It gave me something to sympathise with.

I have 3 questions:
1. What made Solana and Stella abominations?
2. Did Margery die as well?
3. Will you read my entry? (I decided to tell a full story so you will see the problems of trying to tell everything within 1500 words)

A Trip Up the Mountains

I also find rich people cool.

However, I will not touch anyone who inquires about bedroom performance with a barge pole! Though you might have noticed that Leonard asking how their sex lives were did have a payoff. After all he did find out first hand how their sex lives were. But surely you don't find those people cool?!

By the way, how is your sex life?



Alas, you might not like my remarks about the book. Though I tried my very best to explain what I thought while reading through the prologue and the reasons why I didn't like it.

If it didn't come out of nowhere, it wouldn't be much of a twist would it? I would also think that it wouldn't be funny too.

Nonetheless I am surprised at your remarks. Other people thought I did some foreshadowing by dropping what they called hints and so figured out their true age. Needless to say that they didn't find it much of a twist (which really wasn't what I intended).

PS: In line with my usual style of writing, I broke the fourth wall using the last sentence of this entry. I think I will enjoy re-reading this entry months from now after I have forgotten about it.

Over here, reunions are conducted by young people too. So the heroes of this story are either very young (perhaps under 18) or very old. However, I am surprised you didn't point to Leonard's wealth and talking about business interests as the real clue that they can't possibly be that young!




Ah.. Game of Thrones. How I loathe love it! Did you know that I wrote something posted on this site that bashed the prologue of the first book? I found the style of writing hard to follow. The dialogue sounds as if it is spoken by people living in this day and age, not people living in a medieval world.

Oh, that picture has no meaning to it. Though the facial expression of that lady pretty much describes how one might feel after reading the story.

That said, what do you mean by unsuitable clues?

You left out the once voluptuous but now sagging mammary glands.

I am sorry I wasn't able to come up with something based on your entry for the previous event.

Here is my entry to make it up.

Word count is 1499 words.

Summer 2015 A Trip Up the Mountains

It was that time of the year when it gets hotter for some reason. The optimistic might embrace the warmth, the change in scenery and the opportunity to take a break to enjoy it all, put aside work and risk getting fired from work. Indeed, popular media would have one believe that it is a somehow a season for romance. This story endeavours to suggest otherwise.

It tells the tale of a Jane and an Austin, a couple who have known each other for quite some time, on a summer trip to the mountains. These mountains are home to very rocky rapids that carry water from the beautiful lakes with clear, shallow and brightly blue-hued waters to short but wide waterfalls, with lush green forests nestling Tibetan villages with their characteristic buntings embroidered with Buddhist scriptures. It was all very picturesque and all very †˜heaven-on-earth’. So the travel brochure promised.

Jane and Austin, being of an impressionable (or gullible) age, saw this trip to a foreign mountain paradise as a respite from the awful heat and the mundane life they lead. Moreover, the depiction of their holiday destination as some secluded Shangri-La nestled in the middle of the wilderness with Tibetans running around unperturbed from the horrors of modern city life such as modern sanitation, electricity and clean running water sounded very romantic. Prior to setting off for this trip, they confided their fantasies of what they would do there with each other. Most of those fantasies concern behaving intimately (which is a byword for obscenely) with the water, trees, waterfalls, rapids and gawking Tibetans making up the background.

However, their hopes of travelling there alone as a couple, were dashed. The only conceivable way for them to get to their destination was by bus. They wouldn’t know how to get there by car anyway, they wouldn’t be able to read maps or ask for directions or rent a car because they don’t know how to speak or write the bloody language anyway, they aren’t really of the age to drive a car, let alone make a one day journey to the middle of nowhere anyway and they aren’t allowed to do so by the local government for reasons ranging from traffic congestion to the harm it allegedly causes to the environment and to that government being very nasty anyway.


Not only were they forced to travel in a group, they were tasked to find people who would travel with them. Quite reluctantly, they called their acquaintances, friends and people they knew if they would like to like to accompany them on that trip. They didn’t have much progress until they contacted one of their well-to-do former classmate by the name of Leonard. He thought that it would be a good idea to have a class reunion in the mountains so he went around offering money to those who were willing to come along for that reunion, never mind that it most likely costed him tens of thousands of dollars.

That appeared to be a godsend for both Jane and Austin. However, Leonard is a classmate whom they secretly loathed. Leonard was outwardly friendly and generous which was why both Jane and Austin were reluctant to openly show their dislike towards him. However, he had had a knack for getting both Jane and Austin into awkward situations like declaring very loudly to the entire class that they are a couple soon after they confessed their love towards each other. The couple still remembered that this was followed by treating them to dinner and throwing in a few gifts of questionable nature like adult material and adult toys. It is very easy to see why Jane and Austin felt a sense of déjà vu at this arrangement, not to mention a strange sense of foreboding.

Everything seemed well at first, with the couple enjoying the company of their other former classmates. The class reunion almost made the long trip on board the plane and the even longer trip from the airport to the mountains pleasant. After all, it had been quite some time since they last met and they was quite a lot of catching up to do. Yet, like an Indian summer and all things that are good and pleasant, this was short lived. The long journey by bus and plane that lasted for almost a day most certainly dampened spirits a little and then there was Leonard.

“How is your sex life?”

This was how Leonard first greeted the couple during that long bus journey. Of course, it would be difficult for anyone to give a prompt response to such a question. Before they could respond, Leonard laughed it off and started a very awkward one-way conversation that would involve Leonard regaling in some story supposedly concerning his past followed up with a question directed at the couple. The couple would then give one sentence (or sometimes one-word) responses while Leonard, being the insensitive boor he is, would utterly fail to see that the couple weren’t interested in speaking with him!

This was a sample of the conversation between them:

“My family has spent the past few years investing in jewel mines and jewel processing. You know, our business interests cover the area we are at now. So how were the past few years for you?”

“Fine.”, Jane replied curtly.

“A lot of people will suffer from shortness of breath and discomfort being up so high above sea level. Will you be fine?”

“Fine.”, Austin simply repeated the last word of Leonard’s question, apparently giving little thought to giving a proper and grammatical response.

“So how is your sex life?”

“Fine.”, replied Jane and Austin in unison, obviously not paying any attention to Leonard’s question.


Jane and Austin intended their journey up the mountains to be solely an affair between the two of them but since that was not possible it became some kind of school trip that was in fact organised by Leonard whom they loathed but couldn’t do anything about because he has very deep pockets. That awkward exchange in the bus appeared to mark another turning point where their journey turned from bad to worse.

This wasn’t entirely Leonard’s fault though. Much has been said about how difficult it was to go into the mountains. However, being in the mountains is itself rather problematic especially if the people concerned aren’t acclimatised and couldn’t put up with how expensive holidaying there would be because of its sheer inaccessibility!

Jane and Austin bought into the idea that the air in the mountains are fresh and good for their health. They found themselves gasping for air instead at the slightest exertion while walking on the wooden platforms cutting through the scenery. Mountain air, fresh or otherwise, is certainly thin.

Jane and Austin bought into idea that life in the mountains is pleasant. They then realised the toilets were horrible and the accommodation up in the mountains and even the cuisine pales in comparison to places not of the mountains.

Jane and Austin thought the Tibetans who inhabited these mountainous regions were quiet and demure. They aren’t. They are loud, ebullient and behaved more like the Mongols who share the same religion as them. A Tibetan acquaintance of Leonard made them drink a few cups of strong wine resulting in them feeling rather sick for the rest of the day. To make matters worse, Leonard spoke of how the Tibetans dispose of their dead with relish. Apparently, Tibetans think that getting vultures to strip dead bodies is the best way to send the dead person off. Austin vomited upon hearing that leaving Jane to clear the mess in a drunken stupor.

To say that the trip didn’t go as expected was quite an understatement for Jane and Austin though on the bright side, it was certainly unforgettable. Their journey back home was rather silent as most of the people who joined them were rather worn out while Leonard, unlike his usual rambunctious self, was nursing a very bad bruise on his left eye.

How did Leonard end up like this? During the last day of their trip where Jane and Austin thought they finally had some privacy in their hotel room which had a faulty door. It so happened that Leonard walked into their hotel room while Austin was caressing Jane’s once voluptuous but now sagging mammary glands overcome by a lust he didn’t feel since the start of the trip. It was hard to get himself to perform and his back was beginning to ache due to arthritis and the energy it took. All of a sudden, Jane sprang up with such speed it would seem as if she were a few decades younger and landed a blow squarely at Leonard's eye in what was surely the highlight of that trip.

Did I forget to mention how old Jane, Austin and Leonard were?!

It was that time of the year when it gets hotter for some reason. The optimistic might embrace the warmth, the change in scenery and the opportunity to take a break to enjoy it all, put aside work and risk getting fired from work expelled from school. Indeed, popular media would have one believe that it is a somehow a season for romance. This story endeavours to suggest otherwise.

It tells the tale of a Jane and an Austin, a couple who have known each other for quite some time, on a summer trip to the mountains. These mountains are home to very rocky rapids that carry water from the beautiful lakes with clear, shallow and brightly blue-hued waters to short but wide waterfalls, with lush green forests nestling Tibetan villages with their characteristic buntings embroidered with Buddhist scriptures. It was all very picturesque and all very †˜heaven-on-earth’. So the travel brochure promised.

Jane and Austin, being of an impressionable (or gullible) age, saw this trip to a foreign mountain paradise as a respite from the awful heat and the mundane life they lead. Moreover, the depiction of their holiday destination as some secluded Shangri-La nestled in the middle of the wilderness with Tibetans running around unperturbed from the horrors of modern city life such as modern sanitation, electricity and clean running water sounded very romantic. Prior to setting off for this trip, they confided their fantasies of what they would do there with each other. Most of those fantasies concern behaving intimately (which is a byword for obscenely) with the water, trees, waterfalls, rapids and gawking Tibetans making up the background.

However, their hopes of travelling there alone as a couple, were dashed. The only conceivable way for them to get to their destination was by bus. They wouldn’t know how to get there by car anyway, they wouldn’t be able to read maps or ask for directions or rent a car because they don’t know how to speak or write the bloody language anyway, they aren’t really of the age to drive a car, let alone make a one day journey to the middle of nowhere anyway and they aren’t allowed to do so by the local government for reasons ranging from traffic congestion to the harm it allegedly causes to the environment and to that government being very nasty anyway.


Not only were they forced to travel in a group, they were tasked to find people who would travel with them. Quite reluctantly, they called their acquaintances, friends and people they knew if they would like to like to accompany them on that trip. They didn’t have much progress until they contacted one of their well-to-do former classmate by the name of Leonard. He thought that it would be a good idea to have a class reunion in the mountains so he went around offering money to those who were willing to come along for that reunion, never mind that it most likely costed him tens of thousands of dollars.

That appeared to be a godsend for both Jane and Austin. However, Leonard is a classmate whom they secretly loathed. Leonard was outwardly friendly and generous which was why both Jane and Austin were reluctant to openly show their dislike towards him. However, he had had a knack for getting both Jane and Austin into awkward situations like declaring very loudly to the entire class that they are a couple soon after they confessed their love towards each other. The couple still remembered that this was followed by treating them to dinner and throwing in a few gifts of questionable nature like adult material and adult toys. It is very easy to see why Jane and Austin felt a sense of déjà vu at this arrangement, not to mention a strange sense of foreboding.

Everything seemed well at first, with the couple enjoying the company of their other former classmates. The class reunion almost made the long trip on board the plane and the even longer trip from the airport to the mountains pleasant. After all, it had been quite some time since they last met and they was quite a lot of catching up to do. Yet, like an Indian summer and all things that are good and pleasant, this was short lived. The long journey by bus and plane that lasted for almost a day most certainly dampened spirits a little and then there was Leonard.

“How is your sex life?”

This was how Leonard first greeted the couple during that long bus journey. Of course, it would be difficult for anyone to give a prompt response to such a question. Before they could respond, Leonard laughed it off and started a very awkward one-way conversation that would involve Leonard regaling in some story supposedly concerning his past followed up with a question directed at the couple. The couple would then give one sentence (or sometimes one-word) responses while Leonard, being the insensitive boor he is, would utterly fail to see that the couple weren’t interested in speaking with him!

This was a sample of the conversation between them:

“My family has spent the past few years investing in jewel mines and jewel processing. You know, our business interests cover the area we are at now. So how were the past few years for you?”

“Fine.”, Jane replied curtly.

“A lot of people will suffer from shortness of breath and discomfort being up so high above sea level. Will you be fine?”

“Fine.”, Austin simply repeated the last word of Leonard’s question, apparently giving little thought to giving a proper and grammatical response.

“So how is your sex life?”

“Fine.”, replied Jane and Austin in unison, obviously not paying any attention to Leonard’s question.


Jane and Austin intended their journey up the mountains to be solely an affair between the two of them but since that was not possible it became some kind of school trip that was in fact organised by Leonard whom they loathed but couldn’t do anything about because he has very deep pockets. That awkward exchange in the bus appeared to mark another turning point where their journey turned from bad to worse.

This isn’t entirely Leonard’s fault though. Much has been said about how difficult it was to go into the mountains. However, being in the mountains is itself rather problematic especially if the people concerned aren’t acclimatised and couldn’t put up with how backward and expensive holidaying there would be because of its sheer inaccessibility!

Jane and Austin bought into the idea that the air in the mountains are fresh and good for their health. They found themselves gasping for air instead at the slightest exertion while walking on the wooden platforms cutting through the picturesque scenery since the air there was rather thin.

Jane and Austin bought into idea that life in the mountains is pleasant. They then realised the toilets were horrible and the accommodation up in the mountains and even the cuisine pale in comparison to places not of the mountains.

Jane and Austin thought the Tibetans who inhabited these mountainous regions were quiet and demure. They aren’t. They are loud, ebullient and behaved more like the Mongols who share the religion as them. A Tibetan acquaintance of Leonard made them drink a few cups of strong wine resulting in them feeling rather sick for the rest of the day. To make matters worse, Leonard spoke of how the Tibetans dispose of their dead with relish. Apparently, Tibetans think that getting vultures to strip dead bodies is the best way to send the dead person off. Austin vomited upon hearing that leaving Jane to clear the mess in a drunken stupor.

To say that the trip didn’t go as expected was quite an understatement for Jane and Austin though on the bright side, it was certainly unforgettable. Their journey back home was rather silent as most of the people joined them were rather worn out while Leonard, unlike his usual rambunctious self, was nursing a very bad bruise on his left eye.

How did Leonard end up like this? During the last day of their trip where Jane and Austin thought they finally had some privacy in their hotel room which had a faulty door. It so happened that Leonard walked into their hotel room while Austin was caressing Jane’s once voluptuous but now sagging mammary glands overcome by a lust he didn’t feel since the start of the trip. It was hard to get himself to perform and his back was beginning to ache due to arthritis and the energy it took. All of a sudden, Jane sprang up with such speed it would be appear as if she were a few decades younger and landed a blow squarely aimed at Leonard's eye in what surely must be the highlight of that trip.

Did I forget to mention how old Jane, Austin and Leonard were?!

I will see if I can throw something up just for the fun of it. I have spent most of the month overseas. Should be able to come up with something pertaining to school trips and the summer and nothing pertaining to romance.

I am working on a guide of sorts explaining how I carried out the tests I did for a project the past 10 months. Very dry and boring unless the reader wishes to carry out the tests.

After this, I might parody a few of the contest entries for the event last December should I have the time.

Go to the group chat called "Fakku Social" and give me a holler. I am there.