Elder Pervs. Where We Are Today.

Stress is building to everyone over the last year and a half. Sorta like watching some kind of peasant revolt. Otherwise, I'm hanging in there.

I hope you all are too.

I think it's been a year since I last posted in this thread, so I guess it's a good time than any to talk about what I've been up to since 2021 to present. But before that I'd like to share a few things about myself. I'll break it down into two parts. This is very tldr; material, and I honestly don't think it'll do me or you any justice if I summarize it, lol. But do know that there is a method to my madness.:

Personal Life


Things have been going very well for me in terms of various aspects of my life. I think that has to do with the therapy regimen I've been practicing since my last and hopefully final visit in the psych hospital back in 2015. Around that time, I was going through a transition that would either lead to my destruction, or salvation. I say it in that dramatic manner because I consider myself a spiritual person no matter how much I once struggled with the Christian faith. From the point I got out of the hospital 7-8 years ago, I made a decision to turn my life around and focus on treating my Schitzoaffective disorder. Upon going over things I needed to do in order to gain control over my sanity, I drew the conclusion that I was missing a few things in my life that the average person already has. The first was a social life. I had no real friends. I tend to blame my melancholic, yet gradually destructive childhood for being so self reserved and overly comfortable in keeping my own company. I was what you may have guessed a loner in school, the stereotypical quiet kid. Luckily, i was never severely bullied. Tomboys who might have had a crush on me were my biggest irritation back then. But other than that, kids left me to my own devices and acknowledged me for my mild mannered attitude in school. Not to brag, but I was proud of the fact that my parents could breath easy knowing that I was the model student in school. However, while my mom never openly expressed any worry for my self reserved personality, my dad was very concerned with my overall social growth and development. He always let me know during our quality time together that "No man is an island" and if I continue down the path of social isolization, I will have to find out the hardway that it is not a path meant for social creatures like us. I always agreed, but never practiced it. At the time, I just wanted to focus on my schoolwork in hopes that the results would eventually lead me into a secure future of hardwork and independence You know, the American dream.


Eventually, it got so bad, that I didn't know how to interact with people irl. I developed social anxiety, even though people in my life just brushed it off as me being a shy loner. I only spoke when spoken to, and when I did try to form sentences, I would stutter or mumble over my words. This lead to a lot of misunderstandings and lost context between finding common ground and understanding among myself and others. I eventually all but gave up on trying to understand people. But then I made it to my senior year in highschool, I gave up on my original dream to become an Astronomer simply because I sucked at math. So, I decided to try pursuing Psychology. I did this career choice for two main reasons.: 1. To understand other people better 2.To better understand myself. This career path was going to be my final attempt at developing a healthy outlook on social relationships and communication. Unfortunately, by the time I reached college, I didn't really change while going to lectures and interacting with my peers. During my time in college, the impression people had of me, particularly my roomates was the complete opposite of the impression I was getting in public school. Instead of being looked at and acknowledged as a model student, I was seen as someone who is socially immature. I hung out with my roomates, but I rarely ever talked to them or participated in social conversations about the usual things college kids talk about. Even when I joined an anime club with the hope of being accepted due to having at the subject of anime in common, I ended up being socially obstracized and eventually made into a real life 'meme'. It wasn't bad to the point of verbal abuse, but it ended up being discouraging to know that I didn't belong in a social circle where I truly believed I'd be accepted as 'one of them'. Looking back, I can't blame any of my college peers for percieving me in a negative light. If someone doesn't make an attempt to reach out and connect, then it's only natural that I would end up a social outcast wherever I go. Relational activities can only go so far in regard to social interaction and bonding. I failed to understand that, so I became even more self reserved. It led up to the point where I developed a lifestyle that cattered to my comfort zone...or as what some people would call a safe space. I ended up being an internet warrior. Which I find to be hilarious to this day, because in many cases during my days browsing forums like Fakku, I would be the pot calling the kettle black. Gradually, I spent more time learning skills on the pc, than learning skills and concepts in my courses. I ended up having to repeat a few years to my parents discouragement. They had hopes for me as the oldest to break the mold and serve as an example for my siblings. To be the first in the family to not only go to college, but to graduate and become a normal yet outstanding citizen.

That dream I held on too felt further away the more I went to take courses in contrast to staying in my dorm and doing the usual hermit shit like watching porn, debating on the internet and developing a computer related skill. In the end, I came to the conclusion that I didn't really want to deal with people on a professional level, or even personal level. I don't know how I eventually made it to my senior year with that mindset, but around the time before graduation was setting in and I had to turn in my thesis, I ended up having the first biggest mental breakdown in all of my school career. I didn't want to graduate college, at all. So I stopped doing my last bit of work, threw my half finished thesis in the garbage, and proceeded to play Tekken 5DR in my dorm room all day every day. This led to me missing my graduation and having to stay over the summer to complete my credits and thesis. I said in my head, "lol, nope.". In fact, whenever I would attempt to do any meaningful school work that summer, I couldn't even manage to form one single sentence or formula. I would stare blankly at the work, then I would laugh and put it aside in order to browse the web or play video games. Eventually I had enough, I called my dad to come pick me up. Without saying a word to each other, he took me home and I never went back.

Flash forward a few years later, I continued my self reserved nature at full throttle. I was the embodiment of a man child still living with his mama, a virgin, diagnosed with a mental illness, and gave no two shits about anyone or anything. I was full blown desensitized before I even reach 30. I left college around 2007, so the following year, I made an account at Fakku. Eventually, it became the norm to go there as a regular, but due to my social awkwardness, people here only vaguely knew of me. No matter what I attempted to do in order to socially interact with this group, it ended up either being seen as I was trying too hard, or I was out of touch with human relationships. Which was very true, but I was too stubborn to admit that at the time. I'm sure some veteran Fakuzas here remember the moment I finally snapped and caused a shitshow between me and the moderater Waar (RIP). At the time I was being trolled by a member, and I started acting passive agressive towards him in response. My energy and attitude was cocky, pompous, self righteous, defensive and condescending all in one neat little package. Eventually the back and forth between me and that member attracted attention to me. Which ironically was the most attention I recieved in this forum, ever. It was attention I lacked all throughout my life due to being so self secluded. I was coming across as a person I never wanted to be, but in reality was a part of myself that was hiding in the subconsciousness of my mind. If you believe in the principles of Sigmund Freud, it was the Id that took over that fateful day. Since I'm a Persona fan, I like to go back to the moment and say that my shadow side reared its ugly head, lol. In any event, my 15 minutes of fame here took off, and took a turn for the worse when Waar said one little sentence to me in response to me going back and forth with that member and other members who wanted to have some fun and participate in interacting with me. I'll never forget the statement because it was something I didn't want to hear, but evidently had to hear in order to change my ways. Waar simply said: "You don't belong here."


Needless to say, I was pissed (...or would the term 'Butthurt' be more appropriate in this setting?) So, my attitude shifted from the member who was trolling me and redirected towards Waar. At the time I didn't realize he said those words to me in a different context than I assumed he meant. I simply misunderstood the meaning behind it and correlated it with my life as a self inflicted social outcast. The shitshow went from funny, to hilarious, to ugly, and then just plain scary. All of my pent up emotions I kept bottled up was being let out towards someone who didn't deserve it. Members knew he didn't deserve it so I ended up being the villain used as a means to justify cyber bullying. My mind fizzled out then I started making random threads with incoherent babbling in order to get more attention. And they were mostly in the section called Incoherent Babbling. I had my second nervous breakdown which led me to the hospital when the mods had enough of my bs and gave me a time out from the forums. I lost access to the one place that was giving me attention I was too stubborn to admit I always desired, and I lost my shit, went out into town, lost my shit there, cursed out a cop who immediately pepper sprayed me, and I got sent to the psych ward for the second time. Yes, second time. Little did anyone here know, I was already diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder after an incident somewhere in between 2010 which led me to believe I was the Anti-Christ in addition to truly believing I was an Asexual. About the anti-christ bit, thats a funny story I might go into someday. I'll just say during my vagabond days I wanted to have some sort of connection with God, but didn't like Christianity...or physical sex despite never having that, lol.

When the shit hit the fan after my second trip to the psych ward, I spent some time there while going through looney thoughts in my head. From there, I met someone who was going through his own struggle. And that interaction was the start of paving the way towards having real discussions with people in a natural way. He eventually became my first real friend as an adult. Unfortunately I lost touch with him. I didn't see him again until my third and final visit to the psych ward, and he was so far gone, that I decided to leave him alone to focus on recovery. Hopefully he's doing well somewhere out there, and that he is as blessed as I am today.


From then on out, I decided to focus on a new path. Treat my mental illness while recieving treatment through therapy and medication, find meaning in my life and live it, treat my body with the intention of growing old with grace and not disgrace, learn how to socialize and develop relationships with people, and finally find a spirituality that I can be comfortable with and practice. During this treatment process, I continued to believe in a few things that were misguided, and eventually I was set straight by a group of people I met in Tekken 7 that eventually led to me making noticeable progress. One person in particular, who happened to be the leader of that group, ended up becoming a beacon in my life that I will be forever in dept to. He goes by the name of WeaponUnder. He himself was a legend in the Tekken online community. It turned out we had an encounter before we got reunited. In fact, he was already on my psn friends list while I was playing Tekken 5DR in college. I don't remember how we interacted back then, but it must of been on a positive note since we were on each other's list. Anyways One fateful day while playing the earlier seasons Tekken 7, one of my psn buddies wanted me to help him teach Weapon and his friend a lesson. Not to boast, but in the tekken fgc scene I was and still am highly regarded as an underground, dangerous yet unorthodox Ling Xiaoyu main. My only real flaws are that I never developed crucial fundamentals, and I have a flowchart. So while I do have a high win count, I have an equally high (if not higher) loss count. However, people who know of me in the online scene regard me as
someone who is easy to talk to, mild mannered and fun to play against. I do have my pop off moments where I talk head like any other degenerate, but only if I'm being talked crazy to first...or I'm dealing with some bs wifi player who likes to lag switch when I launch them in the air with Mistrust...but let's forget all that and move on. I digress.

Moving on with the story, I meet Weapon and his clan member/friend in the lobby. My own friend is boasting to them about my skills as a Ling player and how I could mop the floor with both of them. Weapon scoffs and allows his boy to have a few sets with me in the lobby. I won the first match, but then, he switched to his main which at the time was Dragunov. I got messed the fuck up, I was not ready to face that kind of skill level. Weapon knew right away that I had a flowchart because I wasn't adapting to anything his homie was doing to me. But in the end, he was still impressed with how I played (For example, I'm one of the few Ling players out there that mastered the backturn parry mechanic, I've never seen any other Ling player use that as much as I do, but overtime it became a double edged sword once solid players start predicting when I use it. Which is one of the reasons why I am known to have a complex unorthodox playstyle yet at the same time have a studyable and predictable flowchart. My growth as a person and player of Tekken is a work in progress.). He mentioned that there was something about me that seemed nostalgic, and I had the same feeling when I first stepped into the lobby. There was definitely something familiar about him, but neither of us could pinpoint what the source of that nostalgia came from. It wasn't until we realized we were already psn friends that it clicked that we had small, yet impressionable interactions before on Tekken 5DR. We both started laughing at the coincidence of it all. Or, maybe it was fate that lead me to forming a true social bond with Weapon. Whatever it was, he invited me into his circle, at first it was because he was interested in my playstyle and he wanted to know more about me. Eventually, the more we interacted, the more he drew the conclusion that other people in the past drew. That being I am socially awkward, weird and was hiding behind a facade of trying to be different from the norm. He also enjoyed the fact that I was 100% honest/transparent with everything regarding myself and my intentions. However, because I am a weirdo and socially awkward, there were a lot of moments where he had to step up and set me on the proper path towards talking to people. Eventually we grew from past acquaintances, to good friends who share the love of Tekken. Unlike me, I highly regarded Weapon as a genius who would secure a path towards success no matter what he decided to do for a living. I wasn't the only one who thought so. Almost everyone who interacted with the guy was touched in some way shape or form. His fellow members looked up to him with admiration and respect. Of course there were always bad seeds out and in the circle that would portray Weapon in a negative light, either due to jealousy, misunderstanding or just simply intolerance of how he is. What I took from staying in this fgc with Weapon is that everyone has their own struggle to deal with, I'm not the only one who has to go through hardship. I'm not special.

Having this type of realistic social circle in my life was crucial for me to have if I had any hope of developing into a person I can be proud of. The year before the Pandamic, I traveled outside of my state by myself for the first time. I headed to Las Vegas to meet weapon and the crew that I also regard as friends in person. We were there to compete in Evo. I participated, and completely drowned in the pools lol. And as you might have suspected, while staying in the airbnb Weapon rented out, I was everything the crew expected me to be in realife. Quiet and socially awkward. However, the difference between my time in Las Vegas and the time I spent in other social situations with people I regarded as acquaintances, was that I was accepted for who I was. Was I roasted? Hell yeah, but it was a warm feeling to know that I was apart of something and it was absolutely ok for me to be myself. We left off on a very wholesome note. But its embarrassing for me to say that I was not financially prepared for the trip despite volunteering to pay extra for the house. I ended up dead broke halfway through the trip, and on the last day, I didn't even have enough money to catch an uber to the airport. Weapon realized this and he stepped up to cover for me. Me, Weapon and another member hung out at a hotel after wrapping things up at the airbnb. We played with some foreigners until it was time for me to catch my flight. Before heading out, I told Weapon at the door of the hotel room: "This was the greatest experience of my adult life, thank you.". I could see in his eyes that he was holding back tears, and he gave me a bro hug and I went on my way back home.

That experience alone left a deep impression on me. it was a good vibe that gave me hope that I will be able to overcome my social anxiety and become not a different person, but a better version of myself. Not only that, but despite being desensitized, there were moments were I would end up crying after finding missing pieces in my life and the key to bringing those pieces together. Waar dying was one of those triggers. I will always regret never bringing myself to giving him a formal apology, but I'm sure he never took it that seriously to begin with. So the closure would be more for me than for him.

Now for closure in my personal life, I will fast forward all the way to the present. Currently, I am on the road to recovery from my mental illness. In fact, I got a letter from the gov back in december that I am no longer legally mentally disabled. My doctor says that if I continue to develope as I have done since my last incident, then by 2023, I won't need medication anymore. However, I feel the importance of having both meds and a healthy lifestyle regimen is important for my overall mental health. Although I am doing much better, I will always be someone with Schitzoaffective tendencies. Those tendencies can be controlled now, but there is always uncertainty for the future as I continue to pursue other aspects that I want to have in my life. I may come across stress inducing situations that I don't know how to cope with, and I may eventually relapse back into that dark place. So I suggested that instead of getting rid of meds altogether, that I should instead take an injection that will keep those tendencies in check for the whole month. I was told it was pretty expensive, but I think the convenience of only taking one injection a month due to my now busy schedule in the workforce would outweight the cons.

I ultimately owe my recovery to making proper health decisions for my body and having a much stronger social presence than i had as a child and young adult. Developing healthy relationships with people was indeed more important than I originally thought. Streaming on Twitch and Youtube was unintentionally good practice in getting rid of habits like stuttering and using terminology that didn't get the point across. It also helped in developing empathy towards other people and what they are going through. All of these factors played a role in my transition from being an introvert, to an ambivert. I can now talk like an extroverted person while being an introvert whenver I see fit. I find it to be very convenient and comforting to be able to switch between the two social constructs. After having a heart to heart talk with my father, he remembered a time when I was a child where I was very talkative. However, when I got hit by a car at the age of 7, I eventually changed in attitude and demeanor. It makes me wonder if that moment where I got injured messed with me in terms of trauma. And that I gradually became this person afraid to take risks in life. I'll just throw that up in the air as a possible factor, but not a definitive reason for why I turned out the way I did. I found a report card dating back to my years in preschool. I found it funny that I got an A+ for independence, and a very low grade for teamwork. So I guess even from way back then I had an ambiverted nature leaning more towards introverted.

Oh damn, I finally logged in for the first time in YEARS lol... Looks like I got some kinda 12 year achievement? Incredible haha, time has flown.

As for life updates? Not that much happening. Left Boston, MA in 2017 and lived in WV for a bit, and now living in NM since late 2018.
Not too much excitement in my life of late, nor hentai very much tbh (thanks nearly two decades of meds for destroying my libido ;_; ).

I mostly hang out on Instagram these days when it comes to social network use, following artists and cute animal accounts <3

Just tryin to get by, stay in, and avoid getting the 'rona. Hope all are well.


*Honestly came back here to check my Favorites list and then remembered... it's all goddamn gone since a few years ago. T_T All those years of tagging uploads gone to waste, to boot.
All those hours checking DoujinMugiMugi for doujin sources and author names and genres... all fcking deleted. Welp, the cost of progress.
Also, I coulda sworn Fakku had direct messaging to message fellow users but can't seem to find it anywhere? Weird.

bruh, we're old

My wife had our child! I am a father! And he is cute as hell! Like I know all parents say they have a good looking child but I mean he could be a model!

Congratulations! ^_^

still alive fuck you freaky <3

Sometimes I go about my day as per usual n stop to think, "damn I wonder how my fakku niggas doin"

I made my account bout 12 yrs ago, but I haven't been active for about 7-8 yrs, I stopped watching anime and playing games. Now I just read manga n manhua. Sometimes I wish I shouldve just stayed a neet cus I much rather communicate with you guys than people irl. No cap. Any philly fakkuers around?

Fuck, haven't posted in over a year. Miss you sick perverts.

Finally got a new job last year and they're paying me double of what I earned before, so definitely moving up the ranks lol. Apart from that, been going to the gym a lot and playing too much FFXIV. Life is going pretty good.

Damn it truly seems like life is going good for ya~

It's been years since I posted on fakku. How is everyone doing?

I'm still around but its mostly on other platforms. Still fun to look back.

Feels like i'm going to be around here a lot. Because i'm posting drawings.... Lewd ones!

12 years huh? Long time no chat, Fakku.

Let's see what I've been up to:
-Haven't been active on Forums, discord but even still it's been a while
-got into FFXIV around last year, pretty much has been taking up my free time
-Caught covid at the beginning of this year, lost my mother, both events have stopped me from going to cons after planning for them for months.
-Been at the gym instead of the home workouts I usually did back in the day
-Haven't seen a seasonal anime since 2015
-Did some wayward traveling before the age of 30 to AX (2019), Canada, and NYC
-Moved in with another Fakku user (I'm in North Texas as opposed to South now) I've known for years after him asking for a while. No longer taking care of my grandmother since we had a falling out, living alone for two years, then just last year she passed away after a pile up of sickness.

Guess, that's about it for now. Logging in for a trip down memory lane.

This inspired me, I'm also married, and we live in a house but are dreaming of a bigger one. I went back to school some years ago, got into software engineering, and just recently moved into management which is chaotic and fulfilling. I miss anime a lot, but I struggle to find time and energy to stay engaged unless I find it really interesting like Penguin Drum or Psycho Pass. Just waiting for the next one to catch my interest. I spend my time playing Magic: The Gathering, Miniatures games like Marvel: Crisis Protocol, and any board game I can find time to play with friends.

I consider myself very lucky to have a tightly knit group of friends that I've collected over the years by being as outgoing as I have the energy for. That said, I miss the few people I felt I knew on here, and sometimes wish I'd been more a part of the community. All-in-all, life is good. While I have plenty of nostalgia for the fun times I had on here, I know things have changed a lot and life is always moving forward.

See You Space Cowboy...

Holy Shiznit, time flies when you're in a coma.

Some people might remember me, others not so much as I haven't posted here in a very long time. It's wild to see some old faces and hear what they've been up to in my absence. Life has turned out kind of strange for myself and others in my circle. I finished college (boring) and continued going to conventions with my friends, tried my hand at podcasting, and am in a stable relationship that's running at ~8 years.

I'm still the same person for the most part, though there's more mileage on the mortality meter. There's numerous people here I still talk to frequently and some infrequently, though I remember a lot of usernames. I recorded a bunch of us reading a Clannad doujin back in the day and to my surprise, it's still available on YouTube!*

HungLikeAZombie and I talk a lot and hang out a few times a year. Rbz used to make me laugh at his comical insults and general shenanigans. Tegumi always had good advice on tech stuff. The fights in the monthly waifu game thread could be highly entertaining and some scandalous cybering logs were dropped at some point, much to the chagrin of its participants.

Ah, those were the days…

*For Old Time's Sake

Been a long time since I've been on here. Friends have changed since I last posted, lost 85lbs (Can see another inch of my pecker), beard has grown longer, still go to Cons with Kgods, and friends.

Holy shit I can’t believe I recognize some names around here still.

My account was deleted due to inactivity but I thought it’d be fun to check back in as I was having a nostalgic night talking to my girlfriend about my hentai forum days and the loads of drama that it ensued.

Life has been simple enough, for better and worse, and nothing too crazy has happened i don’t think? I’ve got a gf of 3 going on 4 years now, which has been fantastic and I’ve never been happier! Work life is more the focus right now in terms of trying to find a good happy place and “forever job,” but things come as they do so I’m not in a huge panic.

It's been a very long time since I've posted here.
Feels like just yesterday.