FAKKU Writers' Lounge
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Aura-Desu wrote...
no comment on my story? : oheh sry... its like in the early morn here so its difficult to process all that juicy information. But i read like the first few lines and it is good~~~ ^_^
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Aura-Desu
Beautiful and Twisted~
randomliner wrote...
Aura-Desu wrote...
no comment on my story? : oheh sry... its like in the early morn here so its difficult to process all that juicy information. But i read like the first few lines and it is good~~~ ^_^
I've been thinking of posting this Yuri I am writing/wrote haha it is way better than this one haha
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Cinia Pacifica
Ojou-sama Writer
TheWaywardMoogle wrote...
*Wayward would come inside, his pom pom bouncing with his steady tread, the forums had been an unusual place for a moogle like him but that was ok...he had friends here*Then Rise appeared right behind him, as eerie a feeling she gave off like always, she smiled, then had her fingers run across Moogle's cheeks ever so slowly. Her vermillion red eyes yet cold and empty eyes gave a dark stare, her smile, still set on her face. "How goes, my dear pet?" she asked.
Sounds kinda off?
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Aura-Desu wrote...
no comment on my story? : oAs erotic as it is (and believe me it was ;D) I as a reader wanted more (not sure for others). Even if this is just a sex scene, there could be more realism into this. Whose name is she calling, what relationship they have to each other (co-worker or friends), and where exactly are they at (his place, hers, or a hotel... or the backseat of a car XP). Overall it was pleasing to an extent but try to add life into it. These are my opinions though so keep them to heart or disregard.
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Aura-Desu wrote...
randomliner wrote...
Aura-Desu wrote...
no comment on my story? : oheh sry... its like in the early morn here so its difficult to process all that juicy information. But i read like the first few lines and it is good~~~ ^_^
I've been thinking of posting this Yuri I am writing/wrote haha it is way better than this one haha
Okay then! i will be waiting for it. The ones you posted before are good works too! My judging has five criterias:
1. Description (ability to make me imagine easily with detail)
2. Language (ability to make me get a boner using a wide range of suggestive input)
3. Interest (ability to make my boner stay up for a period of time)
4. Content (ability to make me fap after reading)
5. Intensity (ability to make me repeat the judging process again)
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TheWaywardMoogle
Wayward Pervert
Rise-chan wrote...
Then Rise appeared right behind him, as eerie a feeling she gave off like always, she smiled, then had her fingers run across Moogle's cheeks ever so slowly. Her vermillion red eyes yet cold and empty eyes gave a dark stare, her smile, still set on her face. "How goes, my dear pet?" she asked.
Wayward would shiver and blush "oh Hello Mistress" his pom-pom acting out erratically as it could not decide wither to be excited or terrified. "things are going well I suppose, always wandering, that's why I got the name Kupo~" He would blush knowing this was all senseless chatter
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Cinia Pacifica
Ojou-sama Writer
TheWaywardMoogle wrote...
Rise-chan wrote...
Then Rise appeared right behind him, as eerie a feeling she gave off like always, she smiled, then had her fingers run across Moogle's cheeks ever so slowly. Her vermillion red eyes yet cold and empty eyes gave a dark stare, her smile, still set on her face. "How goes, my dear pet?" she asked.
Wayward would shiver and blush "oh Hello Mistress" his pom-pom acting out erratically as it could not decide wither to be excited or terrified. "things are going well I suppose, always wandering, that's why I got the name Kupo~" He would blush knowing this was all senseless chatter
Rise's smile was everlasting. Her finger's still on Wayward's cheek, "And why you always be wandering, if I may ask?". She felt the need to try to make sense out of the pointless chatter, no matter how pointless it is, even a little.
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TheWaywardMoogle
Wayward Pervert
Rise-chan wrote...
Rise's smile was everlasting. Her finger's still on Wayward's cheek, "And why you always be wandering, if I may ask?". She felt the need to try to make sense out of the pointless chatter, no matter how pointless it is, even a little.
"well you see, when I left the nest in the narshe mines. my father told me to wander the lands like the great Stiltzkin, and learn all I could. least to say I'm still wandering to this day to learn and share my knowledge." with an errant paw he would scratch behind his right ear. "what about you Rise-chan?"
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Cinia Pacifica
Ojou-sama Writer
TheWaywardMoogle wrote...
Rise-chan wrote...
Rise's smile was everlasting. Her finger's still on Wayward's cheek, "And why you always be wandering, if I may ask?". She felt the need to try to make sense out of the pointless chatter, no matter how pointless it is, even a little.
"well you see, when I left the nest in the narshe mines. my father told me to wander the lands like the great Stiltzkin, and learn all I could. least to say I'm still wandering to this day to learn and share my knowledge." with an errant paw he would scratch behind his right ear. "what about you Rise-chan?"
"If it is knowledge you seek, this is your ideal haven. But you must truly seek and find it. Granters of knowledge loves to play hide and seek with the people who searches for them, you see," she paused for a moment, after standing up and giving a gaze from above, "I've just received the knowledge I came to seek here."
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TheWaywardMoogle
Wayward Pervert
Rise-chan wrote...
"If it is knowledge you seek, this is your ideal haven. But you must truly seek and find it. Granters of knowledge loves to play hide and seek with the people who searches for them, you see," she paused for a moment, after standing up and giving a gaze from above, "I've just received the knowledge I came to seek here."
He would nod, the pom pom bouncing rhythmically. "each encounter with a person is an exchange of information, for someone like me, the more poeple I meet, the more successful I am at my life choice kupo~" sitting up himself he would look up at Rise. "we are what we know right?"
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Cinia Pacifica
Ojou-sama Writer
TheWaywardMoogle wrote...
He would nod, the pom pom bouncing rhythmically. "each encounter with a person is an exchange of information, for someone like me, the more poeple I meet, the more successful I am at my life choice kupo~" sitting up himself he would look up at Rise. "we are what we know right?""Hmm... " Rise wondered for a moment. "Perhaps, the true sages are challenging you to find them. Show me, what you're capable of; little one," Rise said as she walked behind Wayward, by the time he'd turn around to take a glance at her; she'd already be gone in a thin air.