Ten awesome facts about you

1.Cormac invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

2.Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Cormac. Not to be outdone, Cormac invented the car accident.

3.The United States could save billions in defense funding if they trade the Military for Cormac.

4.The active ingredient in Red Bull is Cormac's sweat.

5.That's not Cormac doing push-ups -- that's Cormac moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.

6.People have often asked the US, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply...Cormac.

7.Cormac can tie his shoes with his feet.

8.When Cormac gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

9.A high tide means Cormac is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

10.James Cameron wanted Cormac to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

And everyone of them is true. Trust me.

~ The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Circe.

~ Circe crossed the road. No one has ever dared question her motives.

~ If you spell Circe wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Circe?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

~ Some people where Superman pajamas. Superman wears Circe pajamas.

~ In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Circe is the stuntman for every character.

~ There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair, and Circe.

~ Circe counted to infinity - twice.

~ Circe died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell her.

~ If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Circe killing you.

~ Circe actually built the stairway to heaven.[align=right]

Fun little blog there. Here's what I got :

1: Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "bfg10k17's basement".
2: bfg10k17 does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from bfg10k17's fists is inside his own body.
3: Earth's emergency defence plan in case of alien invasion is bfg10k17.
4: bfg10k17 invented the question mark.
5: bfg10k17 puts the laughter in manslaughter.
6: Hellen Keller's favorite color is bfg10k17.
7: bfg10k17 is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.
8: bfg10k17 was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
9: M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that bfg10k17 can touch this.
10: It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. bfg10k17 can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.

Love this stuff. Praise me more. :D

-PumpJack McGee doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

-The 11th commandment is �Thou shalt not piss off PumpJack McGee� This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.

-Time waits for no man. Unless that man is PumpJack McGee.

-PumpJack McGee died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

-PumpJack McGee once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

-For PumpJack McGee, every street is "one way". His WAY.

-PumpJack McGee's dog is trained to pick up his own poop because PumpJack McGee will not take shit from anyone.

-PumpJack McGee can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.

-Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: PumpJack McGee once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

-PumpJack McGee once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.