A Golden Dilemma

I was flipping through a newspaper I found on the train yesterday when I noticed an Ad saying that their business will buy your gold. When I turned the page, wouldn't you know it, there was an Ad of another business saying that they will buy your gold. This amused me quite a bit, and so I thought it would be fun to see which of these advertisements is superior.

Ad 1: Cash for gold (CFG)
Ad 2: Gold Rush (GR)

Let's examine the more peculiar aspects of these advertisements.
To begin, they both have a focus on money and showing you said money:

CFG

GR:

It's interesting to note that they both prefer benjamins. The George Washington demographic will be sorely disappointed.

Next, we will look at their marketing ploy. CFG tries to bribe you into giving them business with money, while GR uses a hot chick! The ol' "You might get some pussy out of this if you do business with us" marketing. The sneaky bastards.

CFG

GR:

Nothing like some titties to remind you how horny you are for money. If you're horny for both, hell, you might as well delete all your other porn.

They both give you the idea that your gold is extremely valuable. They make it sounds as if I might buy a house with a gold nugget. I remember the good old days when I used to hustle shops in the pokemon world, selling gold nuggets at 5k a piece.
Your gold is worth a fag load:

CFG

GR:


Finally, they both make some very bold claims that need to be approached with caution. Don't think too much though, for their marketing magic might wear off.

CFG

GR:


Well, the GR ad did use the word "guaranteed", so they have to be the ones that pay higher than the other guy that pays higher.

As you now have learned, these ads are very hostile towards one another, always trying to one-up the other. I think I even saw some really small text saying something about raping that hot chick in the other Ad with a golden dildo.



Fakku, which of these "shiny-metal whore" advertisements do you believe to be the most compelling and maybe jizz worthy?

Its a scam >.>
its the same company!

Its just that the CFG is the main pitch...and if your still unsure they use there second company GR "to toss in the images of the sexy ladies to pull you in!"

No matter which one you pick the gold is going to the same place, and they will give you half of what your gold is really worth!

so in other words:


"so I'm paranoid about these things, sue me!"

Shortsell gold and buy it later when price drops:D

Damn man, talk about propaganda, and it looks fishy enough. Why would anyone be buying gold at a breakneck pace? Sure, the index for Gold has risen, but the gold standard is a thing of a past and nobody carries gold bullions on them anymore.

There's literally "We Buy Gold! [size=10]and Diamonds![/h]" every fucking where in my area. Billboards, shops, inside malls at kiosks.

The reason being is right now Gold is climbing in value while the dollar is dropping in value so they'll come out and be fucking everywhere while the economy is bad to make you feel like you can make a quick buck when really it's just a pawn shop ripping you off.

Gold is considered one of the safest long term investments.

CFG becaus they have boobies

What a pickle. I can't choose. They both sound real enough. But the second one DOES have titties. I'll maybe go for that one.

conspiracy i tell ya!

Why not invest in something more tradeable and stronger in value like the Euro? Thing is, gold isn't easily transferable nor practical - it's why we have money. And honestly, I'd rather money than gold sitting in house/pocket. We lesser mortals don't deal with stuff like that unless for ornamental use.

Your new avatar threw me for a loop there, Ziggy.

I thought that gold was constant, and as the dollar goes to shit, the price of gold illustrates this.

So will you vote for the one with the tits or what? Remember, "GUARANTEED!!!"

It's GR that have the titties

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It's the same fucking company don't be fooled people, but seriosly GR seems better to me.

Sex sells lol i wouldnt sell my gold anyways....cause it gold!

I chose CFG. Women only go so far, but that extra 100$ will buy me good times for a while.

I vote for them both to go to hell :) Actually, I voted for they're both the same company
And thanks for the comment on the avatar, it was something quick I made (no I didn't draw her) and for a hentai game I'm working on with a few people

Bingo. Everyone wants money, and they'll do whatever they need to get it, including making a second company that has the exact same goal as the first one, to scam you out of expensive stuff and sell it for much more to people to want it.

I'd pick neither, but I'll cut out the second ad for the hot girl.

You have my gratitude mortal. Surely this knowledge will aid my kind in adapting and blending in among the inhabitants of this world.

ahh, hard sell advertising of a new paper, welcome to soon to be extinct past of advertising friends. Bill Bernbach is spinning in his grave.

You're part us, don't you forget that mortal.