After doing a #2 I enjoy sitting on the toilet for 5 minutes contemplating how I will hustle today, then I get up half way and wipe my bum with brand new 10 dollar bills. Sadly, I'm not wealthy enough to do it fully standing with benjamins.
I man up and use my hand... then i walk around placing my hands on/in other peoples things/food... good fun is had by all... and by all i mean the important people... so just me.