Closed relationships vs. open relationships

Partners who have promised truthfulness and loyalty cheat on eachother, sexually and emotionally, that has always been the case since the beginning of humanity but it seems to happen more often in our "modern" world.

Some surveys state that about 40% of all asked men and 30% of asked women have cheated in a relationship, at least once in their life. More tame estimates say 25%/15%, respectively. Even more noteworthy are the estimated numbers of cuckoldry children: 10-15%. Now, if you imagine that those are just the results of the women actually conceiving a child outside of their relationship you begin to wonder how often they actually cheat while being properly protected or just outside their fertile days.

Some people answer this with open relationships, they actually allow eachother to enjoy other people, this way nobody is going to be betrayed.
They argue that love isn't dependant on having your partner's body for yourself.

Of course, you could retort that an open relationships is even more likely to break because through the sex you can easily find someone more "worthy" of your love....



So, my dear Ladies and Gentlemen of fakku.net what is your opinion on this matter?

(sorry, for the tl;dr but I can't start a serious topic without a proper prelude, I actually restrained myself and tried to keep it short...)

Hmmm never been cheated on, never cheated... I dunno I would want my man to be my man and only mine...

I don't like open relationships. Mostly the threat of STI's, and the idea that my loved one would be with someone else...I would have to say that I'd rather just break up with that person than have an open relationship. (I'm speaking from very little experience, but I can dream. :P)

I've never cheated on any of my relationships, but I have had one night stands, and even then I wait for the person to call me back if she would like a relationship to be started. Fact is, I try to be too good to my girlfriend by opening doors, walking on the roadside, necklace inside a Valentines heart shaped box, shit like that, and if they cheat they usually feel too guilty about it for me not to notice.

I feel that is feasible to have an open relationship and still be happy with each other, but I myself prefer closed relationships. Although, I believe that the reason a lot of closed relationships end up in cheating is partly due to the fact that one partner has expressed a jealousy towards the same sex. This gives the other person a feeling of restriction that causes the person to cheat in order to oppose their partner in spite or just to feel free to from the chains they feel the jealousy causes.

When you were able to notice it did this have any consequence on your relationship?

Hell yeah it did!

Usually I don't know whether they cheated on me, but I do notice something's wrong, and when that time comes I simply sit down and talk to them, I don't force them to explain why they're so down, I just tell them that they can tell me and I can try my best to fix it. At first, my girlfriends (I've been in a lot relationships) would not tell me straight out they cheated, but sooner or later they become too guilty to keep it secret so they confess or break up with me then confess. Out of all the times I've been cheated on (5) I was able to continue my relationship with 2 (40%, chyeah!) my highschool sweetheart, and my last one, but eventually we broke up due to different circumstances.

closed relationship for me.
i've never cheated and i would hate to be cheated on.

I'd rather have a one night stand than an open relationship.

So the numbers I provided don't seem to be so far off or you're just a very unlucky fellow.

If I'm honest I can't quite grasp how you still can be able to trust in your gfs in this matter at all. Thus, I ask why you don't try to start an open relationship the next time, you seem mature enough to handle it and you wouldn't need to restrict yourself and end up as the loser every time.




But what consequences would have it for you if it happened?
Of course, I wish you best of luck with your relationship, just asking a hypothetical question.

I've never cheated or been cheated on. I'm more in favor of closed relationships simply because I'm kinda a jealous person and I believe that the facts are that open relationships fail more often and a generally a pretty bad situation to bring up a child in and in other ways get in the way of having a normal life.

@saibot
if it happened?lessee.....

after it happened-walking zombie
1st day after-cry all day long after thinking all the happy moments we share
2nd day after-fap all day long while thinking all the amazing sex we've done
3rd day after-realized that there's more than 3 billions of woman out there
4th day after-hit on every moving pussy out there

above is a hypothetical answer :D

but truth to be told,i wouldn't know what consequences that'll cause to me.
maybe i'll be crushed for a long time.
i mean,after 6 years of mostly happy moments....

Closed, I have cheated, and been cheated on. Both just make your life shitty in the end. A open relationship is not better than fuck buddys.

well taking into account that i can get really jealous, i'd say i prefer closed relationships, but then again that kind of relationship somehow doesn't last long, since people tend to get bored with each other.

I'm in for a closed relationship only. I would NEVER cheat on a girl - it goes against everything I believe in; and I would feel betrayed if a girl cheated on me. I just don't think its right. It goes against the way I was raised and against my personal beliefs.

Also, I find it kind of...disgusting to think that I'm sticking my junk somewhere that someone other random guy just stuck his earlier that day or something...geh.

seconded. :]

I've never cheated when I was in a closed relationship, though in 3/3 of my serious ones, I ended up being betrayed, go figure.

I tried the open relationship once because she didn't want to get tied down to anyone just then. Of course, just my luck, I ended up getting the mostly emotional side of the relationship and when she wanted sex she went elsewhere. After a few weeks, I got sick of this and went to find people she had slept with and beat the crap out of them. After a week or two of that, word got back to her and she left because she apparently doesn't like psychos, lol.

Now, I believe I went about it the wrong way, but I don't know if I can be blamed completely for what I did...at any rate, that was awhile ago, don't like open relations and I miss college XDXDXD

i'm pretty possessive,so closed relationships is more of my thing.
but that's just me.

So you categorical negate that you can't love one person and have sex with other persons at the same time?

I feel you can't love a person and fuck another. The problem comes from the human feeling of jealousy and the basic grounds of a true relationship. If you don't feel jealous of the person that is being fucked buy the one you are invoved with than can you really say that you love them? (by jealous I don't mean flipping out and shoot them or shom shit, I mean being hurt and angered) And if they don't feel jealous of the one you are with, than do they really love you? If you (or they) don't really love them (you) and are just having fun than it is not really a relationship anyway, it is a talking sex toy (fuck buddy). They become something you can play with, talk to, hang out with but ultamently you just send them away when you are done with them. And at that point what would it matter if you bring over a new toy another night instead? I don't feel that you can truly love a person if you can't make yourself only for them.

*edit* Longest post I have ever writen here.

^ Well Said