Digital First Impressions

I suck at them. No, seriously, I fucking suck at first impressions. I have had feeling for a girl for the longest time but, after my initial rejection I kept my hopes up on sheer nativity. When her best friend is your ex and that ex has told some pretty damning and outrageous lies but, because of the way others see her "she can do no wrong". You know the type that everyone thinks is so innocent that they could kill a dozen people and claim "self defense".

Seeing the chances of ever climbing out of the dreaded "friend zone". I gave up and decided to look for something else. Then I came across this little beauty



She lives in a nearby city, is a year my younger ,from what I know she has ambitions and aspirations for her life. I contacted her and I believe I failed...hard.

Apparently, dating is hard for an Atheist. My first impression abilities are so poor that I rarely get past the initial interaction. Overall, it just sucks or I just suck at dating. Here are a few "reasons" I get shot down 1) "You're an Atheist. I can't date someone like you" 2). They are not interested (understandable) 3). I don't appear to meet their standards. I honestly think some of the women out there expect me to piss wine and shit gold bricks! It's not just her, I have huge problems getting past the first impression with girls. I dated my first girl because she thought my bashful and nervous reactions were cute. The others, lets just say. In hindsight I wouldn't make that mistake again even if I was so shitfaced drunk that my blood was slightly more flammable than napalm.

Since it impossible to properly analyze oneself or analyze one's methods. I have a question for my fellow Fakkuza. How do/did you survive the first impression?

well everyone has their own set way of doin things and leaving first impressions, some just arent as lucky..
buutt... usually you cant really plan on what you will do but rather let it flow naturally.. i kinda juz pull everything out of my ass on the spot and hope it works.. sometimes it does, sometimes it doesnt.
i would try to be an honest and sincere character while not bragging too much.. smile and juz keep your cool..
well that's all i can say, good luck..

I can form an intelligent argument. I can explain things very well. I'm complimented on my verbal skills and articulation but, once I try to talk with a girl. I become as stupid as a fool and I make about as much sense as the United States tax code. First impressions are my Achilles heel.

I've never pursued a relaionship with anyone so far, so I can't say anything on the first impression department. Then again, it was more like I gave up before ever trying. List of reasons: girl was in one or two classes of mine, I barely know the girl, she's got many friends and a constant guy friend around, I barely get to see her, I don't get the drive to ask her out, etc. etc. I know I'll get more chances, but I keep thinking that I've blown away many other good chances as well. As for the part where I bolded, Fiery Penguin, I believe that to be true, or is it more like girls don't actively search for guys anymore because they're all so independent? (You know, chivalry and stuff has died... hard.) I get the feeling that overall many girl's standards in guys has risen, and what pisses me off is that it seems like all the jackasses and jocks get them while the real breadwinners with hearts of gold a nice personalities are left on the sidelines to weep. That girl is a real looker there, btw.

Firs impressions are not my problem it's when I get to know them.

I myself an a well groomed and charming individual, it's when I start thinking that I like this person my idiocy becomes apparent.

Most of the time when I'm out in street clothes(Not working) I'm wearing button down shirts, a nice pair of jeans or Khaki pants, and a pair of Rockports. If I'm going to something special I don the Tie, But when yu firs see me most of the time you see a clean cut person.

Also, She is cute, just try to say I'm a great guy, and just improvise. Truth be told I am shy in nature, but I forced myself to be sociable, to overcome that.

You are my polar opposite. I have a disheveled looked, jeans, and a t-shirt. Though while I am out an about I'm still in jeans and a T-shirt. My hair is combed and such.

My problem is also includes online first impressions. Dating sites and such, on a forum I have many chances to mend my image when I make a mistake. While talking with someone it is a lot harder to fix your mistakes.

There in lies a large chunk of your problem, You dress as you are not confident. Take a look at me, at my best:



Now take a look at me when I look like shit:


See the difference, I look like a guy who has some degree of success, people are drawn to the guy who looks successful. Next time you are out shopping for some clothes take a look a some polo's or a button up shirt or two. Wear them in stead of your Tee's and see how people react.

I would've wrote something earlier, but I had to be hospitalized because I facepalmed too hard.

I believe if someone is to judge a person by things such as religion (Or lack thereof.) the personality of said person fails pretty damn epic - and that's where I'm losing interest in the first place.

I'm pretty gifted when it comes down to people skills. One would judge me as 'manipulative' - I like to play around with people. This way of thinking is helping a lot on such matters as to 'Not give a fuck.'. For example, one girl not too long ago wanted to date me because I seemed 'interesting' - I gave her that impression by wearing oversized clothes and running barefoot around on the street (Aside from some other conduct disorders.) in the middle of the night.

What I'm trying to say with that? First impression related to relationships is something not to think about in the first place. One person may think you're boring while someone else may want to see you more often from the information they've gathered from the first impression, so what's the point in acting different if you don't know what that person's up to?

But then again, I'm mostly interested in 'interesting' personalities. If you're going for the barbie dolls, well... go get some muscles, that should distract from everything you could possibly say. And if you're really that of a nag, just learn to shut up. Intellectually raping her mind is something you can always do afterwards.

That's at least my (Probably described as being weird.) way of thinking.

When I am out in public I dress very differently from what I wear around the house. Outside I wear cloths that show off my physique. I have the typical "broad at the shoulders" kind of look and I wear cloths that suit that look. What I meant by the other comment was that while I am at home I basically remind myself of L from Death Note. While I doubt I'll ever be as perceptive, intelligent, awesome as he is I do put myself in the mind of him physically.

Also on the comment of me wearing a polo shirt. Thank whatever god or gods you believe in for fact that you are not in a place I can reach you :evil:. (Hint: I hate polo shirts, I hate suits and all similar clothing. Ralph Lauren, GAP, Tommy Hilfiger and all those other "popular" brands make me see red.)

Physically, I tend to blow the first impression because I say something stupid or I say something that is offensive to all but a small group of friends. That is where I fail in person so that isn't what we need to discuss.

My statement is more about the first message on a dating site or similar first impressions that don't involve physical interactions.

@Nacho: You have too much faith for people within any radius of this area. The pickings are slim for anyone who doesn't want a girl to go fishing or "muddin" with. I live in Georgia for fuck's sake. The few "intellectual" girls I tend to find are usually so liberal that they make hippies look like nazi fascist. Something is wrong with the water in Georgia.

Changing your appearances and acting different isn't a good idea. My ex did this with me - he acted like he thought I'd like him to act. Affectionate, sweet, nice - and after he reeled me in and I was in the boat he started showing off his real colors of just... the opposite.

If the girl isn't interested in you it means she's not the right fit for you. You want someone who can relate to you and understand you. It's too much trouble to strive and be somebody else.

Sometimes if you look too hard you won't find that person, they tend to come at surprising and unexpected times.

I don' say change how you act, I sill act like a goofball all the time, I just changed the way I dressed. I looked like a slob, I realized that and told myself now is the time to change.

From a distance I look like a Confidant Son of a Bitch but then when you get close you notice I'm just a goof ball. The only tie I change how I act is at work, as to appear more Professional. But I'm still that big ol' lovable goof ball.

So far I'm 0 for 3. I find someone that interests me and I don't interest them. Makes me think about attending college. Hell, if I'm going to be single forever, I might as well be single and rich.

You got that right. Bachelorhood's always welcome to all men.

i concur with the first 2 phrases.

but wait,did you blasts out intellegent arguments and explain your usual complicated,sophisticated and complex stuffs(like you always do here in fakku)to a girl you just know for a short time/you just met?

i need to know about that first.

and about the 0 and 3,well,let's just say that you haven't tried enough.
or you are just unlucky you can't find girls that fits your criteria.

I wasn't overly complex. I told the girl I thought she was attractive and interesting. That I had similar interests to hers (anime, video games,etc). That I wanted to speak with her more so I could learn more about her.

The young lady is stunning in my opinion and if I walked past her in real life I would probably walk into a wall or trip over air because I wouldn't be able to remove my eyes from her.

You may be correct about being unlucky. Though I believe the area I live in is part of my problem. This area of Georgia isn't exactly a match made in heaven for me. A good analogy of this area is: I'm the lone Atheist in the Vatican. It's not exactly that bad but, the people around here aren't exactly open minded about too many things.

it's not your fault then.from what i learn from your post,it's not like you are bad at first impression,it's just you live in a place where people can't appreciate your...hmm,what to say it?

background? religion and stuffs?

and that alone might have affected girls' overall first impression about you.

i could only tell you to move away from your place if that's possible(for a change of pace,and possibly for better appreciation of yourself).

and in an attempt to cheer you up,i'm 5/24,if i remember correctly.

I was just meaning in recent history. The last girl I asked out was a close friend and she shot me down, this stunning young lady ignored me and another girl just lost interest.

My first relationship lasted roughly 6 years. If I never dated her I doubt I would be anything like I am today. I would be cross wearing christian, uptight, wearing suits and polo cloths *shudders*.

I don't know about you, but from where I come from in the states, (New Jersey) religion takes a backseat in relationships. I didn't believe it would be the same for the South because I thought those were rednecks down there. As far as I'm concerned, kids aren't concerned or interested in religion, and to me, that just sounds like an excuse to shoot down a person. (Then again, I can be wrong.)

"Hi I'm Ari"

There's my flawless first impression.
Well..considering they're even listening to my words and not just staring at me, it works.