[Locked] How do I gain her trust back and make her pain go away? :(
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I know my wife may see this, but I don't know what I can do to fix what I broke. I seriously did some pretty fucked up things to her, which I'm not proud of. It's really no wonder why she does feel the way she does, even now. To give you some history on what's happened (it's a bit long, but bare with me):
We've been good now, but I notice when I play WoW or text or something, I notice my wife struggling with doubt and worry. She tries so hard to have faith in me, but it's really obvious how scarred she is. She still even cries at night sometimes, and sometimes becomes anxious and nervous if I happen to be talking to a female.
I know I don't deserve her after all I've put her through, but she's the only girl I really love being around, and she also turned my life around. Every girl I've ever been with hadn't been any good, and I know that's a horrible excuse to try to justify the way I've treated her, but it's true. She's amazing, and I don't want to hurt her anymore and I want to help heal her, I just don't know how to do that, though. What can I do?
Spoiler:
We've been good now, but I notice when I play WoW or text or something, I notice my wife struggling with doubt and worry. She tries so hard to have faith in me, but it's really obvious how scarred she is. She still even cries at night sometimes, and sometimes becomes anxious and nervous if I happen to be talking to a female.
I know I don't deserve her after all I've put her through, but she's the only girl I really love being around, and she also turned my life around. Every girl I've ever been with hadn't been any good, and I know that's a horrible excuse to try to justify the way I've treated her, but it's true. She's amazing, and I don't want to hurt her anymore and I want to help heal her, I just don't know how to do that, though. What can I do?
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This isn't something you can heal, through time you had made the same mistakes and it will only be through time that things will recover. If anything, continue the counseling and eventually try going out with friends that the two of you know, showing her directly that you've changed.
Try thinking about the reasons you love your wife every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to bed. Reaffirming your feelings for her will strengthen them in your mind and will make you much more confident and loyal to her.
Try thinking about the reasons you love your wife every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to bed. Reaffirming your feelings for her will strengthen them in your mind and will make you much more confident and loyal to her.
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animefreak_usa
Child of Samael
I think i heard this story on here before... something about weighting the option of cutting his penis off.
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HappyDia01 wrote...
Get a divorce.That I can't do... I want to prove myself to her and show her how much I love her.
LustfulAngel wrote...
This isn't something you can heal, through time you had made the same mistakes and it will only be through time that things will recover. If anything, continue the counseling and eventually try going out with friends that the two of you know, showing her directly that you've changed. Try thinking about the reasons you love your wife every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to bed. Reaffirming your feelings for her will strengthen them in your mind and will make you much more confident and loyal to her.
Ok, thanks. I'll try that and we'll continue going to counseling.
animefreak_usa wrote...
I think i heard this story on here before... something about weighting the option of cutting his penis off.Dude, wtf? O.o;
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animefreak_usa wrote...
I think i heard this story on here before... something about weighting the option of cutting his penis off.
1
chronotrigger666 wrote...
HappyDia01 wrote...
Get a divorce.That I can't do... I want to prove myself to her and show her how much I love her.
I wanted to leave saying that alone, but the more I thought about this the more outraged I've become. I've seen your wife around the forums, and although we haven't spoken personally... she has always come across as being very sweet, very doting upon you, and even posted for advice on how to "seduce" you. In retrospect, this all fucking pisses me off. Not only did you betray her trust ONCE, but NUMEROUS TIMES... You got married to this woman. You made a VOW to her. In this life, a wife and a husband are supposed to support one another - be the rock for the other to find foundation upon. You are supposed to protect your wife come hell and high water, and what did you do? You became that hell for your wife.
And then you tried to turn it around on her - blaming your betrayal on supposed faults that she had just to avoid how fucked up you are. Not one blow to the chest, but two - that's what you gave your wife. You lead her to believe that those things you were doing, your SELFISHNESS, your PROBLEMS... were her problems. I can't imagine anything more cruel then to lead the "love of your life" (as you say) to think that what you've done is her fault and hers alone. But that wasn't enough for you. You had to go a step further. You'd already compromised the santity of your marriage for complete STRANGERS, but you made a victim of your wife for one.
The filming of your sex... The INTIMACY of an act of love... I'm just so outraged that I can hardly form my words. She gave you her body, showed you her love, and you just willingly gave that up making her into a peep show whore. Your WIFE. To me, this is unforgivable. I think you should just die. Even now, you don't truly care about your wife's feelings... you just don't want to deal with the daily guilt. You want to quickly rid yourself of the reminder, so that you can go back to doing what you're doing without having to face the consequences. You even posted it up here in fluffy bullshit words so that your wife would see it, and be fooled into thinking that the person you're really concerned about is her. It's not. It hasn't been up until now, and I doubt it'll be after.
I plead with her to realise that there are men out there a thousand times better then you. Who will love her, remain faithful to her, and would never ever betray her... who wouldn't ruin not only her faith in her husband, her faith in the marriage, but her faith that the marital bed would stay between those in the marriage. To you sir, I say FUCK OFF. Before children are involved, seriously... go fuck off.
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animefreak_usa
Child of Samael
https://www.fakku.net/viewtopic.php?t=70934
I was mistaken.. i said chop his pee pee off.. but sounds like something you should read anyways.
I was mistaken.. i said chop his pee pee off.. but sounds like something you should read anyways.
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how old are you to be this dumb?
if you fall back into what you've been doing after the counseling, your wife is better off divorcing you. because you as a person dont know what they want out of a relationship especially when you're going through the net starting online relationship. also it seem form the very beginning you never really cared about the relationship and just wanted the company and by marrying her you had it in your mind that she'll be by your side forever not to grow old with, only just so you wont be alone.
if you fall back into what you've been doing after the counseling, your wife is better off divorcing you. because you as a person dont know what they want out of a relationship especially when you're going through the net starting online relationship. also it seem form the very beginning you never really cared about the relationship and just wanted the company and by marrying her you had it in your mind that she'll be by your side forever not to grow old with, only just so you wont be alone.
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HappyDia01 wrote...
chronotrigger666 wrote...
HappyDia01 wrote...
Get a divorce.That I can't do... I want to prove myself to her and show her how much I love her.
I wanted to leave saying that alone, but the more I thought about this the more outraged I've become. I've seen your wife around the forums, and although we haven't spoken personally... she has always come across as being very sweet, very doting upon you, and even posted for advice on how to "seduce" you. In retrospect, this all fucking pisses me off. Not only did you betray her trust ONCE, but NUMEROUS TIMES... You got married to this woman. You made a VOW to her. In this life, a wife and a husband are supposed to support one another - be the rock for the other to find foundation upon. You are supposed to protect your wife come hell and high water, and what did you do? You became that hell for your wife.
And then you tried to turn it around on her - blaming your betrayal on supposed faults that she had just to avoid how fucked up you are. Not one blow to the chest, but two - that's what you gave your wife. You lead her to believe that those things you were doing, your SELFISHNESS, your PROBLEMS... were her problems. I can't imagine anything more cruel then to lead the "love of your life" (as you say) to think that what you've done is her fault and hers alone. But that wasn't enough for you. You had to go a step further. You'd already compromised the santity of your marriage for complete STRANGERS, but you made a victim of your wife for one.
The filming of your sex... The INTIMACY of an act of love... I'm just so outraged that I can hardly form my words. She gave you her body, showed you her love, and you just willingly gave that up making her into a peep show whore. Your WIFE. To me, this is unforgivable. I think you should just die. Even now, you don't truly care about your wife's feelings... you just don't want to deal with the daily guilt. You want to quickly rid yourself of the reminder, so that you can go back to doing what you're doing without having to face the consequences. You even posted it up here in fluffy bullshit words so that your wife would see it, and be fooled into thinking that the person you're really concerned about is her. It's not. It hasn't been up until now, and I doubt it'll be after.
I plead with her to realise that there are men out there a thousand times better then you. Who will love her, remain faithful to her, and would never ever betray her... who wouldn't ruin not only her faith in her husband, her faith in the marriage, but her faith that the marital bed would stay between those in the marriage. To you sir, I say FUCK OFF. Before children are involved, seriously... go fuck off.
Ouch Dia-chan. Harsh truth is harsh, but if I'm to be honest if I were to go about this logically I would agree with her. I'll put it much more softly: Right now, you're not really in a position to love her. Right now, you're dealing with guilt and a bunch of emotional baggage. And ontop of that, I think that it might've been much too soon for your marriage. You're probably maybe 1-2 years older than me at best(I'm 19; going 20 March 6th).
Right now, you still wanna party and do the college thing and all of that(and I'm not saying that's a bad thing.) I blame it on the emphasis that's being put on marriage to sort of counteract the free lancing of sex that occurred in the late 80's-90's. It was and is very possible to have a long-term committed relationship as just being boyfriend and girlfriend.
I run the risk in this case of the argument that "You're a guy, you're sticking up for your fellow men." Yes and no, what you've done(the OP) is pretty incredibly stupid and as a romantist I can't say I condone it. But I understand it, that being said you have to make a decision: Is she your WIFE? That is to say, is she a woman you love to the point where you're willing to give your body and soul for her? If so, then I think we owe you and your wife the respect to try to continue to work it out.
If not, then you owe her the respect to say: I've fucked up pretty badly to the point where it's irreversible and to keep you from hurting anymore, I think it's best we go our separate ways.
If you do choose that, firstly props to you. Secondly: Don't do the divorce, the divorce courts I've heard are pretty expensive. An adult with more experience than me might be able to find a way to end the marriage without the hassle and money loss.
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my diagnosis, you're a big douch and a big dick.
there's no cure for what u did, she'll always doubt you.
If you want to show ur faithfulness then show it. Remove all her doubt. stop WoW, or even spending too much time online, especially on sites that has a potential of u bumping into chix. but u can't make that sacrifice, so I agree with the comment with the divorce, but that may be unfair since the missus may not want the divorce.
best thing to do dude is to remove her doubt. bez fuckin thing u can do.
(and by remove all doubt, i mean don't give her any reason to doubt you. reduce the strain on ur relationship as much as possible. but that requires ton fucks of sacrifices. have fun :)
I've been with a relationship where it really wasnt working, and we both ended up hating each other's guts (while still madly in love). act rationally and own up.
there's no cure for what u did, she'll always doubt you.
If you want to show ur faithfulness then show it. Remove all her doubt. stop WoW, or even spending too much time online, especially on sites that has a potential of u bumping into chix. but u can't make that sacrifice, so I agree with the comment with the divorce, but that may be unfair since the missus may not want the divorce.
best thing to do dude is to remove her doubt. bez fuckin thing u can do.
(and by remove all doubt, i mean don't give her any reason to doubt you. reduce the strain on ur relationship as much as possible. but that requires ton fucks of sacrifices. have fun :)
I've been with a relationship where it really wasnt working, and we both ended up hating each other's guts (while still madly in love). act rationally and own up.
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Gravity cat
the adequately amused
I'm afraid to say it, but everyone who's posted before me is right. No wait, no I'm not. You my dear sir, are a total cunt and you don't deserve your wife.
She must be a Saint to be as patient with you as she has been, and for so long. I would personally kill for someone like that and you've so far shown to be nothing but a complete prick. You've contacted girls outside of the relationship numerous times, made excuses for your actions and covering up your insecurities by blaming her for things she hasn't actually done, and what really breaks my heart is that she took what you said and did actually blame herself for your actions.
By the sounds of it, you have alot of underlying confidence issues, which makes you feel the need to feel wanted all the time, but when your devoted and loyal wife gives you the attention that you crave, you quickly get bored of it and look elsewhere. If that's the case, you should never have even gotten into a relationship with her, much less get married to her, in the first place because you don't seem like the type of person who can just settle down with what he has and commit himself 100% to the relationship and his life partner. Your problem is that this need to "feel wanted" and the feeling of "forbidden love" (or rather, 5 minutes of lust) over the internet is slowly tearing you both apart and you still don't see how much it's actually affecting her, especially after showing a complete stranger on the internet a sex tape of you and your wife during coitus, which she wasn't aware was being recorded at the time. I mean for fucks sake, she's crying in bed at night because of you.
You want to know how to make her pain go away? Stop contacting other girls. It's really not that difficult, unless you're a sex addict.
I guess credit where it's due though, you know you have a problem, but it's one thing to acknowledge that you have a problem, but it's another thing to actually do something about it.
Edit: Got confused about who was OP's wife. Thankfully my point still stands.
She must be a Saint to be as patient with you as she has been, and for so long. I would personally kill for someone like that and you've so far shown to be nothing but a complete prick. You've contacted girls outside of the relationship numerous times, made excuses for your actions and covering up your insecurities by blaming her for things she hasn't actually done, and what really breaks my heart is that she took what you said and did actually blame herself for your actions.
By the sounds of it, you have alot of underlying confidence issues, which makes you feel the need to feel wanted all the time, but when your devoted and loyal wife gives you the attention that you crave, you quickly get bored of it and look elsewhere. If that's the case, you should never have even gotten into a relationship with her, much less get married to her, in the first place because you don't seem like the type of person who can just settle down with what he has and commit himself 100% to the relationship and his life partner. Your problem is that this need to "feel wanted" and the feeling of "forbidden love" (or rather, 5 minutes of lust) over the internet is slowly tearing you both apart and you still don't see how much it's actually affecting her, especially after showing a complete stranger on the internet a sex tape of you and your wife during coitus, which she wasn't aware was being recorded at the time. I mean for fucks sake, she's crying in bed at night because of you.
You want to know how to make her pain go away? Stop contacting other girls. It's really not that difficult, unless you're a sex addict.
I guess credit where it's due though, you know you have a problem, but it's one thing to acknowledge that you have a problem, but it's another thing to actually do something about it.
Edit: Got confused about who was OP's wife. Thankfully my point still stands.
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HappyDia01 wrote...
chronotrigger666 wrote...
HappyDia01 wrote...
Get a divorce.That I can't do... I want to prove myself to her and show her how much I love her.
I wanted to leave saying that alone, but the more I thought about this the more outraged I've become. I've seen your wife around the forums, and although we haven't spoken personally... she has always come across as being very sweet, very doting upon you, and even posted for advice on how to "seduce" you. In retrospect, this all fucking pisses me off. Not only did you betray her trust ONCE, but NUMEROUS TIMES... You got married to this woman. You made a VOW to her. In this life, a wife and a husband are supposed to support one another - be the rock for the other to find foundation upon. You are supposed to protect your wife come hell and high water, and what did you do? You became that hell for your wife.
And then you tried to turn it around on her - blaming your betrayal on supposed faults that she had just to avoid how fucked up you are. Not one blow to the chest, but two - that's what you gave your wife. You lead her to believe that those things you were doing, your SELFISHNESS, your PROBLEMS... were her problems. I can't imagine anything more cruel then to lead the "love of your life" (as you say) to think that what you've done is her fault and hers alone. But that wasn't enough for you. You had to go a step further. You'd already compromised the santity of your marriage for complete STRANGERS, but you made a victim of your wife for one.
The filming of your sex... The INTIMACY of an act of love... I'm just so outraged that I can hardly form my words. She gave you her body, showed you her love, and you just willingly gave that up making her into a peep show whore. Your WIFE. To me, this is unforgivable. I think you should just die. Even now, you don't truly care about your wife's feelings... you just don't want to deal with the daily guilt. You want to quickly rid yourself of the reminder, so that you can go back to doing what you're doing without having to face the consequences. You even posted it up here in fluffy bullshit words so that your wife would see it, and be fooled into thinking that the person you're really concerned about is her. It's not. It hasn't been up until now, and I doubt it'll be after.
I plead with her to realise that there are men out there a thousand times better then you. Who will love her, remain faithful to her, and would never ever betray her... who wouldn't ruin not only her faith in her husband, her faith in the marriage, but her faith that the marital bed would stay between those in the marriage. To you sir, I say FUCK OFF. Before children are involved, seriously... go fuck off.
I'm not even going to argue with you because you're right, and there's absolutely no doubt that she can find a guy who's way better than me. Hell, even now she's got guys who are pretty crazy about her that could really make her happy and provide her with a good life, but for some reason, she says she loves me and she wants to do everything she can to make this work. Going through counseling is my last chance to show her how much she means to me. And yes, I am guilty and ashamed and want it to end, but it's not just for my sake. I really do care for her, and I never want to hurt her again, honest...
SeriousSAM wrote...
how old are you to be this dumb? if you fall back into what you've been doing after the counseling, your wife is better off divorcing you. because you as a person dont know what they want out of a relationship especially when you're going through the net starting online relationship. also it seem form the very beginning you never really cared about the relationship and just wanted the company and by marrying her you had it in your mind that she'll be by your side forever not to grow old with, only just so you wont be alone.
I'm 25 going on 26 this year... I met her when I was 22 almost 23... And I admit that I've been such an asshole, but it's not true that I don't care for her. I'd do anything for her, even die.... She has asked me before too, if I really love her or if I'm just with her because I feel guilty or lonely, and if I was really happy with her, and when she asked that I just felt like this huge hole was in my chest because I DO love her more than anything, and I hate that I made her doubt me so much... But it's like they say, you reap what you sow...
LustfulAngel wrote...
HappyDia01 wrote...
chronotrigger666 wrote...
HappyDia01 wrote...
Get a divorce.That I can't do... I want to prove myself to her and show her how much I love her.
I wanted to leave saying that alone, but the more I thought about this the more outraged I've become. I've seen your wife around the forums, and although we haven't spoken personally... she has always come across as being very sweet, very doting upon you, and even posted for advice on how to "seduce" you. In retrospect, this all fucking pisses me off. Not only did you betray her trust ONCE, but NUMEROUS TIMES... You got married to this woman. You made a VOW to her. In this life, a wife and a husband are supposed to support one another - be the rock for the other to find foundation upon. You are supposed to protect your wife come hell and high water, and what did you do? You became that hell for your wife.
And then you tried to turn it around on her - blaming your betrayal on supposed faults that she had just to avoid how fucked up you are. Not one blow to the chest, but two - that's what you gave your wife. You lead her to believe that those things you were doing, your SELFISHNESS, your PROBLEMS... were her problems. I can't imagine anything more cruel then to lead the "love of your life" (as you say) to think that what you've done is her fault and hers alone. But that wasn't enough for you. You had to go a step further. You'd already compromised the santity of your marriage for complete STRANGERS, but you made a victim of your wife for one.
The filming of your sex... The INTIMACY of an act of love... I'm just so outraged that I can hardly form my words. She gave you her body, showed you her love, and you just willingly gave that up making her into a peep show whore. Your WIFE. To me, this is unforgivable. I think you should just die. Even now, you don't truly care about your wife's feelings... you just don't want to deal with the daily guilt. You want to quickly rid yourself of the reminder, so that you can go back to doing what you're doing without having to face the consequences. You even posted it up here in fluffy bullshit words so that your wife would see it, and be fooled into thinking that the person you're really concerned about is her. It's not. It hasn't been up until now, and I doubt it'll be after.
I plead with her to realise that there are men out there a thousand times better then you. Who will love her, remain faithful to her, and would never ever betray her... who wouldn't ruin not only her faith in her husband, her faith in the marriage, but her faith that the marital bed would stay between those in the marriage. To you sir, I say FUCK OFF. Before children are involved, seriously... go fuck off.
Ouch Dia-chan. Harsh truth is harsh, but if I'm to be honest if I were to go about this logically I would agree with her. I'll put it much more softly: Right now, you're not really in a position to love her. Right now, you're dealing with guilt and a bunch of emotional baggage. And ontop of that, I think that it might've been much too soon for your marriage. You're probably maybe 1-2 years older than me at best(I'm 19; going 20 March 6th).
Right now, you still wanna party and do the college thing and all of that(and I'm not saying that's a bad thing.) I blame it on the emphasis that's being put on marriage to sort of counteract the free lancing of sex that occurred in the late 80's-90's. It was and is very possible to have a long-term committed relationship as just being boyfriend and girlfriend.
I run the risk in this case of the argument that "You're a guy, you're sticking up for your fellow men." Yes and no, what you've done(the OP) is pretty incredibly stupid and as a romantist I can't say I condone it. But I understand it, that being said you have to make a decision: Is she your WIFE? That is to say, is she a woman you love to the point where you're willing to give your body and soul for her? If so, then I think we owe you and your wife the respect to try to continue to work it out.
If not, then you owe her the respect to say: I've fucked up pretty badly to the point where it's irreversible and to keep you from hurting anymore, I think it's best we go our separate ways.
If you do choose that, firstly props to you. Secondly: Don't do the divorce, the divorce courts I've heard are pretty expensive. An adult with more experience than me might be able to find a way to end the marriage without the hassle and money loss.
She is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. There's no one else I'd want to do that with. I'd give her ANYTHING, all she has to do is ask... So I'm going to do anything I can to make it work...
Gravity cat wrote...
I'm afraid to say it, but everyone who's posted before me is right. No wait, no I'm not. You my dear sir, are a total cunt and you don't deserve your wife. I read the thread your wife made about you that Freaky posted, and she seems so sweet. She must be a Saint to be as patient with you as she has been, and for so long judging by your individual stories. I would personally kill for someone like that and you've so far shown to be nothing but a complete prick. You've contacted girls outside of the relationship numerous times, made excuses for your actions and covering up your insecurities by blaming her for things she hasn't actually done, and what really breaks my heart is that she took what you said and did actually blame herself for your actions.
By the sounds of it, you have alot of underlying confidence issues, which makes you feel the need to feel wanted all the time, but when your devoted and loyal wife gives you the attention that you crave, you quickly get bored of it and look elsewhere. If that's the case, you should never have even gotten into a relationship with her, much less get married to her, in the first place because you don't seem like the type of person who can just settle down with what he has and commit himself 100% to the relationship and his life partner. Your problem is that this need to "feel wanted" and the feeling of "forbidden love" (or rather, 5 minutes of lust) over the internet is slowly tearing you both apart and you still don't see how much it's actually affecting her, especially after showing a complete stranger on the internet a sex tape of you and your wife during coitus, which she wasn't aware was being recorded at the time. I mean for fucks sake, she's crying in bed at night because of you.
I guess credit where it's due though, you know you have a problem, but it's one thing to acknowledge that you have a problem, but it's another thing to actually do something about it.
Oh, that's not my wife who posted that thread that that one guy linked. My wife on here actually goes by crazymissotaku.
Edit: She's the opposite of the girl who posted that in the sense that she's an awesome cook and never once nagged at me for anything. She's really sweet and always thinking of me and is kind to a fault, really.... A lot of people say she's the perfect girl.
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Gravity cat
the adequately amused
chronotrigger666 wrote...
Oh, that's not my wife who posted that thread that that one guy linked. My wife on here actually goes by crazymissotaku.Ah, whoops.
Yeah anyway I know who she is, and I've seen her threads about you. In fact almost every time she posts she mentions you at least once.
My point (thankfully) still stands.
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Gravity cat wrote...
chronotrigger666 wrote...
Oh, that's not my wife who posted that thread that that one guy linked. My wife on here actually goes by crazymissotaku.Ah, whoops.
But yeah I know who she is, and I've seen her threads about you. My point (thankfully) still stands.
I guess she posts more often than I realized then, since it seems a few people are aware of who she is... But yeah... You are right, I've been an asshole to her, and yet she still manages to smile at me and welcome me home from work everyday... She really is the perfect wife and I hate myself every time I think about what I've done.
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Gravity cat
the adequately amused
chronotrigger666 wrote...
Gravity cat wrote...
chronotrigger666 wrote...
Oh, that's not my wife who posted that thread that that one guy linked. My wife on here actually goes by crazymissotaku.Ah, whoops.
But yeah I know who she is, and I've seen her threads about you. My point (thankfully) still stands.
I guess she posts more often than I realized then, since it seems a few people are aware of who she is... But yeah... You are right, I've been an asshole to her, and yet she still manages to smile at me and welcome me home from work everyday... She really is the perfect wife and I hate myself every time I think about what I've done.
It's hard to miss her, she's one of the few who has a picture of herself as her avi.
I'd recommend you go to that marriage councelling. You two need to sit down and talk seriously to one another away from the temptations of the internet and well, everything around you, while being asked questions from a neutral party, because something tells she isn't going to be able to ask the questions herself.
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artcellrox
The Grey Knight :y
Gravity cat wrote...
I read the thread your wife made about you that Freaky postedThe one Freaky just posted about ZombieQueen? That's not his wife; crazymissotaku is.
OT: All the while I was reading the whole thing, I was listening to Cloudkicker's "It's bad. We're hit, man, we are hit.", and it has this soft, but mid-tempo progressive beat near the middle.
I... felt... like slamming my head on my desk while timing it to the rhythm.
What I read pissed me off THAT much. >:|
Really, when I PM'ed you before, I didn't know that much of the whole story, so I didn't really make a comment, but now that I do, I just feel like slapping you silly and taking her away myself (you see how pissed I am, to be contemplating an NTR plot, the genre which I hate the most in hentai)! >:(
*sighs*
Look, you brought this on yourself, and Des has done everything she can to keep this whole thing together. I'll admit to an extent, the fact that you're (hopefully, I'm literally praying to God right now) finally getting some common sense in your head and trying to rectify this, but really... this just seems too irreparable.
We have this saying: "if you can't help yourself, no one, not even God, will be willing to help you." You're on your own, unfortunately, and all I can say is "good luck, and may the true forces watching over us have mercy on your soul".
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Gravity cat wrote...
chronotrigger666 wrote...
Gravity cat wrote...
chronotrigger666 wrote...
Oh, that's not my wife who posted that thread that that one guy linked. My wife on here actually goes by crazymissotaku.Ah, whoops.
But yeah I know who she is, and I've seen her threads about you. My point (thankfully) still stands.
I guess she posts more often than I realized then, since it seems a few people are aware of who she is... But yeah... You are right, I've been an asshole to her, and yet she still manages to smile at me and welcome me home from work everyday... She really is the perfect wife and I hate myself every time I think about what I've done.
It's hard to miss her, she's one of the few who has a picture of herself as her avi.
I'd recommend you go to that marriage councelling. You two need to sit down and talk seriously to one another away from the temptations of the internet and well, everything around you, while being asked questions from a neutral party, because something tells she isn't going to be able to ask the questions herself.
I guess that's true. She says she gets too lazy to sit there and look through pictures for an avatar, so she just uses her pics instead and says "there, it represents me perfectly". lol.
Yeah, we are continuing marriage counseling still and yeah... She really does shy away from asking me things like that. She's usually much more open through writing and during counseling... She's been pretty abused by her father too,growing up, so a lot of the time she's too afraid of possibly upsetting me or disappointing me. :/
0
Gravity cat
the adequately amused
chronotrigger666 wrote...
Gravity cat wrote...
chronotrigger666 wrote...
Gravity cat wrote...
chronotrigger666 wrote...
Oh, that's not my wife who posted that thread that that one guy linked. My wife on here actually goes by crazymissotaku.Ah, whoops.
But yeah I know who she is, and I've seen her threads about you. My point (thankfully) still stands.
I guess she posts more often than I realized then, since it seems a few people are aware of who she is... But yeah... You are right, I've been an asshole to her, and yet she still manages to smile at me and welcome me home from work everyday... She really is the perfect wife and I hate myself every time I think about what I've done.
It's hard to miss her, she's one of the few who has a picture of herself as her avi.
I'd recommend you go to that marriage councelling. You two need to sit down and talk seriously to one another away from the temptations of the internet and well, everything around you, while being asked questions from a neutral party, because something tells she isn't going to be able to ask the questions herself.
I guess that's true. She says she gets too lazy to sit there and look through pictures for an avatar, so she just uses her pics instead and says "there, it represents me perfectly". lol.
Yeah, we are continuing marriage counseling still and yeah... She really does shy away from asking me things like that. She's usually much more open through writing and during counseling... She's been pretty abused by her father too,growing up, so a lot of the time she's too afraid of possibly upsetting me or disappointing me. :/
It's a start I guess.
But to be perfectly honest I wouldn't blame her to want to end it, especially after everything you put her through and after just telling me that she was abused when she was younger makes it worse.
All throughout your "heart-felt" story, kind of quoting Art here, I also wanted to smack my head on a desk to how ignorant you could be to your own actions until it was too late. Not trying to rub salt into the wound.
0
Drifter995
Neko//Night
HappyDia01 wrote...
chronotrigger666 wrote...
HappyDia01 wrote...
Get a divorce.That I can't do... I want to prove myself to her and show her how much I love her.
I wanted to leave saying that alone, but the more I thought about this the more outraged I've become. I've seen your wife around the forums, and although we haven't spoken personally... she has always come across as being very sweet, very doting upon you, and even posted for advice on how to "seduce" you. In retrospect, this all fucking pisses me off. Not only did you betray her trust ONCE, but NUMEROUS TIMES... You got married to this woman. You made a VOW to her. In this life, a wife and a husband are supposed to support one another - be the rock for the other to find foundation upon. You are supposed to protect your wife come hell and high water, and what did you do? You became that hell for your wife.
And then you tried to turn it around on her - blaming your betrayal on supposed faults that she had just to avoid how fucked up you are. Not one blow to the chest, but two - that's what you gave your wife. You lead her to believe that those things you were doing, your SELFISHNESS, your PROBLEMS... were her problems. I can't imagine anything more cruel then to lead the "love of your life" (as you say) to think that what you've done is her fault and hers alone. But that wasn't enough for you. You had to go a step further. You'd already compromised the santity of your marriage for complete STRANGERS, but you made a victim of your wife for one.
The filming of your sex... The INTIMACY of an act of love... I'm just so outraged that I can hardly form my words. She gave you her body, showed you her love, and you just willingly gave that up making her into a peep show whore. Your WIFE. To me, this is unforgivable. I think you should just die. Even now, you don't truly care about your wife's feelings... you just don't want to deal with the daily guilt. You want to quickly rid yourself of the reminder, so that you can go back to doing what you're doing without having to face the consequences. You even posted it up here in fluffy bullshit words so that your wife would see it, and be fooled into thinking that the person you're really concerned about is her. It's not. It hasn't been up until now, and I doubt it'll be after.
I plead with her to realise that there are men out there a thousand times better then you. Who will love her, remain faithful to her, and would never ever betray her... who wouldn't ruin not only her faith in her husband, her faith in the marriage, but her faith that the marital bed would stay between those in the marriage. To you sir, I say FUCK OFF. Before children are involved, seriously... go fuck off.
This.
and:
Gravity cat wrote...
I'm afraid to say it, but everyone who's posted before me is right. No wait, no I'm not. You my dear sir, are a total cunt and you don't deserve your wife. I read the thread your wife made about you that Freaky posted, and she seems so sweet. She must be a Saint to be as patient with you as she has been, and for so long judging by your individual stories. I would personally kill for someone like that and you've so far shown to be nothing but a complete prick. You've contacted girls outside of the relationship numerous times, made excuses for your actions and covering up your insecurities by blaming her for things she hasn't actually done, and what really breaks my heart is that she took what you said and did actually blame herself for your actions.
By the sounds of it, you have alot of underlying confidence issues, which makes you feel the need to feel wanted all the time, but when your devoted and loyal wife gives you the attention that you crave, you quickly get bored of it and look elsewhere. If that's the case, you should never have even gotten into a relationship with her, much less get married to her, in the first place because you don't seem like the type of person who can just settle down with what he has and commit himself 100% to the relationship and his life partner. Your problem is that this need to "feel wanted" and the feeling of "forbidden love" (or rather, 5 minutes of lust) over the internet is slowly tearing you both apart and you still don't see how much it's actually affecting her, especially after showing a complete stranger on the internet a sex tape of you and your wife during coitus, which she wasn't aware was being recorded at the time. I mean for fucks sake, she's crying in bed at night because of you.
You want to know how to make her pain go away? Stop contacting other girls. It's really not that difficult, unless you're a sex addict.
I guess credit where it's due though, you know you have a problem, but it's one thing to acknowledge that you have a problem, but it's another thing to actually do something about it.
This.
You are a fucking asshole, You don't deserve your wife. I hope she divorces you, you selfish right cunt. (yes I said cunt, And I don't like saying that, probably similar with grav)
But there is a small chance she will see this thread, and see you're trying to change.
But I will say this once, and only once. You can't change people, You are a cunt, you always will be a cunt. You feel the need to have relations with more than one person at a time. You need to grow the fuck up and love your wife, and only your wife. Until then, you should either leave your wife in the hands of somebody better than you, or STOP FUCKING WITH HER LOVE. Think I might shoot her a pm and tell her to check this, and confront you about it. If she confronts you about all these things, she may let out her inner emotions, and by which you'll either sort it out, break up, or go on exactly the same as before. So there is a 2/3 chance it'll work in my logic.
Good day, and stop being a right cunt to your wife.
edit: Just checked all her threads, and somehow she thinks it's her fault. you fuck.