I am in need of help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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OK here my problem I have two friends that go to the same school as me but out of no where, they both confess their love for me and are asking to go out with me at the same time :shock: . So now i have to make a choice and pick one of them which I can not and it is killing me so please help me out and give me your opinion. :cry:
I will now give the Bio:
1stgirl. Name:Sara
She is the shy,soft-spoken who would not talk unless spoken too. I have known her for two years now. When we first met we didn't talk to each other very much but after a party we got to know each a little more and became good friends. After that we hung out with each other a lot.
2ndgirl. Name:Ren
Ren is the kind of girl who you just want to be around because she is fun and happy. I have known Ren for five years, going back all the way to high school. Before I had a crush on her and even ask her out but she coldly rejected me :cry: but still we stayed friends. She has most of the same class as me so we see each other a lot and sometimes we hung out too.
Please I need your help, please give me your opinion so I can finally decide.If you need more info then just tell me and I give you more info about the girls.
I will now give the Bio:
1stgirl. Name:Sara
She is the shy,soft-spoken who would not talk unless spoken too. I have known her for two years now. When we first met we didn't talk to each other very much but after a party we got to know each a little more and became good friends. After that we hung out with each other a lot.
2ndgirl. Name:Ren
Ren is the kind of girl who you just want to be around because she is fun and happy. I have known Ren for five years, going back all the way to high school. Before I had a crush on her and even ask her out but she coldly rejected me :cry: but still we stayed friends. She has most of the same class as me so we see each other a lot and sometimes we hung out too.
Please I need your help, please give me your opinion so I can finally decide.If you need more info then just tell me and I give you more info about the girls.
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Your friendships are over, basically. Which ever one you don't pick is going to be hurt, but when you eventually part ways with the one you do decided to pursue, they'll most likely be hurt too. And they'll always want to be more. Also, take a deep breath and stop hesitating. If they're really your friends, they deserve the truth and a response, esp since you don't love either of them (if you did, the question would be how to let the other one down with the least damage, not which should you choose). I know that sounds harsh, but so are matters of the heart. Sorry.
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lost12 wrote...
Name:Renwhat is she, japanese or somethin, anyways, i'd take the sexier one, heehee
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crazy_old_man_on_the_hill wrote...
Your friendships are over, basically. Which ever one you don't pick is going to be hurt, but when you eventually part ways with the one you do decided to pursue, they'll most likely be hurt too. And they'll always want to be more. Also, take a deep breath and stop hesitating. If they're really your friends, they deserve the truth and a response, esp since you don't love either of them (if you did, the question would be how to let the other one down with the least damage, not which should you choose). I know that sounds harsh, but so are matters of the heart. Sorry.you are very right and i know i should give an answer :)
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Nate River wrote...
lost12 wrote...
Name:Renwhat is she, japanese or somethin, anyways, i'd take the sexier one, heehee
YES, she is Japanese
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well unless they are like my friends and like to plot things just to fuck with you id give you one of two choices
1.neither. both will be hurt but at least you wont have the "but i asked you out then you go out with her" thing against you
2. choose the one you like more. one will be hurt. it happens.
either way you are prolly screwed but choice 1 has more chance of keeping the friendships alive and choice two might get you laid. time to decide on ur prioritys
1.neither. both will be hurt but at least you wont have the "but i asked you out then you go out with her" thing against you
2. choose the one you like more. one will be hurt. it happens.
either way you are prolly screwed but choice 1 has more chance of keeping the friendships alive and choice two might get you laid. time to decide on ur prioritys
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Waar
FAKKU Moderator
depends; it sounds like #1 is the long term girl friend type while #2 might be one to end it quickly, she has already rejected you; ask her what changed?
I would go with #1 but i dont know if it's because im slightly petty and don't like being turned down.
Your story sound like school days tbh; don't follow makoto's lead.
I would go with #1 but i dont know if it's because im slightly petty and don't like being turned down.
Your story sound like school days tbh; don't follow makoto's lead.
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lost12 wrote...
2ndgirl. Name:Ren
Ren is the kind of girl who you just want to be around because she is fun and happy. I have known Ren for five years, going back all the way to high school. Before I had a crush on her and even ask her out but she coldly rejected me :cry: but still we stayed friends. She has most of the same class as me so we see each other a lot and sometimes we hung out too.
Wait. She coldly rejected you first. But now, she loves you? How and when did she developed feelings for you?
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Uzumaki101 wrote...
lost12 wrote...
2ndgirl. Name:Ren
Ren is the kind of girl who you just want to be around because she is fun and happy. I have known Ren for five years, going back all the way to high school. Before I had a crush on her and even ask her out but she coldly rejected me :cry: but still we stayed friends. She has most of the same class as me so we see each other a lot and sometimes we hung out too.
Wait. She coldly rejected you first. But now, she loves you? How and when did she suddenly developed feelings for you?
Feelings change over time.
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The Jesus wrote...
Uzumaki101 wrote...
lost12 wrote...
2ndgirl. Name:Ren
Ren is the kind of girl who you just want to be around because she is fun and happy. I have known Ren for five years, going back all the way to high school. Before I had a crush on her and even ask her out but she coldly rejected me :cry: but still we stayed friends. She has most of the same class as me so we see each other a lot and sometimes we hung out too.
Wait. She coldly rejected you first. But now, she loves you? How and when did she suddenly developed feelings for you?
Feelings change over time.
That and women are more prone to over time develop feeling over your personality.
Close your eyes and think deep about it. Which one do you care about more? Which do you have more fun with? Remember, girlfriend. If you can just sit around and hang out without being all over each other then thats the one to go with.
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The Jesus wrote...
Uzumaki101 wrote...
lost12 wrote...
2ndgirl. Name:Ren
Ren is the kind of girl who you just want to be around because she is fun and happy. I have known Ren for five years, going back all the way to high school. Before I had a crush on her and even ask her out but she coldly rejected me :cry: but still we stayed friends. She has most of the same class as me so we see each other a lot and sometimes we hung out too.
Wait. She coldly rejected you first. But now, she loves you? How and when did she suddenly developed feelings for you?
Feelings change over time.
...I guess that's true.
illumi wrote...
That and women are more prone to over time develop feeling over your personality.
Close your eyes and think deep about it. Which one do you care about more? Which do you have more fun with? Remember, girlfriend. If you can just sit around and hang out without being all over each other then thats the one to go with.
Hmm... Who is gonna be the Girlfriend and the Girl friend.
Lol. I'm so corny^^
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if possible take the 'harem path' :roll:
i don't know if should be glad or not for not being on you're position :lol:
sorry can't help much(due to lack of experience :P)
i don't know if should be glad or not for not being on you're position :lol:
sorry can't help much(due to lack of experience :P)
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Hmm..... ok after seeing your details on the girls i found one thing quite missing her, how well you understand a person is not determined by period, so i hereby ask you is that which one means it and which one not like Uzumaki101 said how come Ren develop feelings for you after rejecting you ? answer that yourself first how to find out ? i dunno thats your shot and try not to be an idiot and ask her in the face, cuz even i would slap you in the face for being a dummy unless she likes u being a dummy.
and the second one is like Waar said here get to know which one means it, and which one just got attracted by some of your dunno what you did stuff...
once you found out the one who mean it, next stage would be yourself which one deep inside you really liked, don't give me the 'i don't know' speech cuz i won't even eat it, once you got it then take the pick and take the hit like a man, but your responsibility isn't done, you have to talk to the one that you didn't choose and let her understand why...
and all in all here's the predicted ending, you be with the girl you like and also still friends with the one you didn't choose, one more thing... make those decision and find out all about their heart fast !!! don't keep the girls waiting cuz if you do, i would be the last person in your mind you wanna see... anyway good luck be smart, and also becareful...
and the second one is like Waar said here get to know which one means it, and which one just got attracted by some of your dunno what you did stuff...
once you found out the one who mean it, next stage would be yourself which one deep inside you really liked, don't give me the 'i don't know' speech cuz i won't even eat it, once you got it then take the pick and take the hit like a man, but your responsibility isn't done, you have to talk to the one that you didn't choose and let her understand why...
and all in all here's the predicted ending, you be with the girl you like and also still friends with the one you didn't choose, one more thing... make those decision and find out all about their heart fast !!! don't keep the girls waiting cuz if you do, i would be the last person in your mind you wanna see... anyway good luck be smart, and also becareful...
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Skyler has a good point about not making them wait too long. I made that mistake 7 years ago and its still coming back to kick me in the ass to this day. In fact, one of the worst blows it dealt me was exactly a week ago.
Ren seems like it could work out really well. There's a lot of ways to interpret the rejection. She could have been scared of it affecting your relationship and, as harsh as a rejection might be, the connection you share as friends would make it easier to recover than having a breakup come between the two of you if it didn't work out. Since you are still friends after that and have been for quite some time, it kind of goes to support that theory. Then there's always the possibility that she wasn't ready for a relationship or for you two to take things further, but now she feels as if she is ready. Another possibility is that at the time she was sure that you were only meant to be a friend, but over time realized she was wrong. In that case, she may be even more serious about her feeling than you realize. The rejection is something that you might want to talk to her about, but its in the past and like I said in my earlier post feelings change with time.
As for Sara, I'm not saying that it couldn't work out better with her than Ren, but unless you did some serious bonding as friends, I don't think you could have a stronger connection with her. Then again, sometimes you meet someone, get to talking, go out once, and boom... 40 years later you're happily married with kids and even grandkids. Two years is a good amount of time for feelings to develop and I wouldn't say that she isn't just as serious as Ren.
I really can't give you a whole lot of useful advice at this point. With the info given, I think the best advice has been given already. So, some more info would help. You have a lot to figure out before you make a decision, but you don't have a large time frame to work with. The most important thing is who you have the stronger connection with and that's something only you can definitively figure out. The way you made it sound, it seems as if they are both serious about the way they feel. That means that its going to be hard to let one down, but it doesn't necessarily mean that things between you will go to shit. Don't just think of how bad the girl you don't choose will take it, but how supportive she could be of your relationship with the one you did choose. Matters of the heart are delicate, whether its yours or someone else's, but there's always a way to manage them with respect for the feelings of everyone involved.
Ren seems like it could work out really well. There's a lot of ways to interpret the rejection. She could have been scared of it affecting your relationship and, as harsh as a rejection might be, the connection you share as friends would make it easier to recover than having a breakup come between the two of you if it didn't work out. Since you are still friends after that and have been for quite some time, it kind of goes to support that theory. Then there's always the possibility that she wasn't ready for a relationship or for you two to take things further, but now she feels as if she is ready. Another possibility is that at the time she was sure that you were only meant to be a friend, but over time realized she was wrong. In that case, she may be even more serious about her feeling than you realize. The rejection is something that you might want to talk to her about, but its in the past and like I said in my earlier post feelings change with time.
As for Sara, I'm not saying that it couldn't work out better with her than Ren, but unless you did some serious bonding as friends, I don't think you could have a stronger connection with her. Then again, sometimes you meet someone, get to talking, go out once, and boom... 40 years later you're happily married with kids and even grandkids. Two years is a good amount of time for feelings to develop and I wouldn't say that she isn't just as serious as Ren.
I really can't give you a whole lot of useful advice at this point. With the info given, I think the best advice has been given already. So, some more info would help. You have a lot to figure out before you make a decision, but you don't have a large time frame to work with. The most important thing is who you have the stronger connection with and that's something only you can definitively figure out. The way you made it sound, it seems as if they are both serious about the way they feel. That means that its going to be hard to let one down, but it doesn't necessarily mean that things between you will go to shit. Don't just think of how bad the girl you don't choose will take it, but how supportive she could be of your relationship with the one you did choose. Matters of the heart are delicate, whether its yours or someone else's, but there's always a way to manage them with respect for the feelings of everyone involved.
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The Jesus wrote...
Uzumaki101 wrote...
lost12 wrote...
2ndgirl. Name:Ren
Ren is the kind of girl who you just want to be around because she is fun and happy. I have known Ren for five years, going back all the way to high school. Before I had a crush on her and even ask her out but she coldly rejected me :cry: but still we stayed friends. She has most of the same class as me so we see each other a lot and sometimes we hung out too.
Wait. She coldly rejected you first. But now, she loves you? How and when did she suddenly developed feelings for you?
Feelings change over time.
She said that in the past all her boyfriends were her close friends and when they broke up they would not keep in touch. So she was worry that if me and her were to go out,We would not keep in touch after we broke up because she did not want to lose a close friend like me. But now she said that she loves me.
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Whatever you do, and whatever choice you make, at the end of the day its your choice, but try and FFWD it a bit, girls don't like waiting when it comes to this stuff...
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lost12 wrote...
The Jesus wrote...
Uzumaki101 wrote...
lost12 wrote...
2ndgirl. Name:Ren
Ren is the kind of girl who you just want to be around because she is fun and happy. I have known Ren for five years, going back all the way to high school. Before I had a crush on her and even ask her out but she coldly rejected me :cry: but still we stayed friends. She has most of the same class as me so we see each other a lot and sometimes we hung out too.
Wait. She coldly rejected you first. But now, she loves you? How and when did she suddenly developed feelings for you?
Feelings change over time.
She said that in the past all her boyfriends were her close friends and when they broke up they would not keep in touch. So she was worry that if me and her were to go out,We would not keep in touch after we broke up because she did not want to lose a close friend like me. But now she said that she loves me.
Then go with Ren since she already expresses her feelings to you and you feel the same way towards her. I don't think you should wait....Go for it!
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are you sure you know these girls well enough to make an informed decision? the only thing that i can reccomend is maybe finding some free time for both of them and getting some necessary information about theyre true feelings and what they would come to rely on you for. maybe not that in particular... but showing interest for both of them can only strengthen the friendships, even if you end up with only one of them. but like everyone said dont take a month making up your mind, im only trying to make the decision process a little faster. in my opinion sara sounds like the better choice, i prefer shy girls whos deep trust you have to earn before truly getting to know them.