"welcome to the mental health hot line if you are obsessive compulsive press 1 repeatedly, if you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you if you have multiple personality's press 3 4 5 and 6, if you are paranoid we know what you are and what you want stay on the line and we'll trace you're call, if you're delusional press 7 and you're call will be transferred to the mother ship if you are schizophrenic stay on the line and a small voice will tell you which number to press, if you are depressive it doesn't matter which number yo push noone will answer you, and if you have low self esteem hang up all our operators are to busy to talk"..donnno who said it but they had to have had a set of brass balls to do it