*Need to vent* Why does God fuck with me this way?

This past Saturday, God decided to fuck with me and my friends. One of my friends was moving from the beach up to College Park, Maryland to go get another degree at Univ of Md. So we all pack up a moving truck, his car, his boyfriend's car and my car with his shit, to fit in a tiny ass studio apartment across from the damned school. This drive was supposed to take four hours, give or take, since we had to stop to eat along the way. God didn't even wait for us to get on the bloody interstate before he fucked with me. While stopping to get gas, I realize, I don't have my fucking license, fuck! So I had to drive twenty minutes back home, while they went on ahead, they got caught in a six mile back up before the damned tunnel, warning me, I was able to go an alternate route which caught me up with them, they would be about twenty minutes ahead of me, but wouldn't you know, God struck again, TRAFFIC!! another six mile back up, so I get off on one exit like they did before to go around the traffic, I'm still behind them, hell we all lose each other! Getting back on the interstate, I'm still crawling, not being able to go the speed limit, for another six miles, then freedom at last!! Hoping on to 295, and hoping right back off to meet up my friends at a Hardees no less, yuck! As I enjoy free food, that took forever to get to me (fast food my ass) we hop back on to 295 with sooth sailing, God apparently was nice to us for the first time that day, but then he decided that was enough and BAM, we hit traffic on 95, THE ENTIRE TIME!!! It would be traffic, then weeeee, then traffic, then weeeee, then traffic, then weeeee!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!! At one point, while stuck, my friend yells out the window to me, MOSHI!!! (as that is my nickname, Moshi. You say moshi moshi on the cell once and it sticks, I am also called Moshiro because I was a hero, hahaha) Then TomTom in the voice of John Cleese, tells us to hop on the hov lane, and I thought finally, God decided to end his little joke, but GODDAMNIT!! TRAFFIC AGAIN!!! Once we got off the damned HOV and hopped on to the exit for 395 (i believe) God thought we had enough and let us go, but it would take us another 45 minutes to get where we were going, fucking hell! Two hours of unloading and pizza and target run, I finally left Scott's new place, with my friend Mary in tow, and made the four hour trip back home. IT TOOK US SEVEN FUCKING HOURS TO GET FROM VA BEACH TO DC, WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS UP WITH THAT!!! I'm never driving in the day again, God likes to fuck with day drivers!

That's god's way of reminding you that you are still and always will be his bitch.

Holy shit dude, put some paragraphs between sentences. That is painful to read.

But yea, looks like God had a fun time with you.

lol that sucks but yeah god's just reminding u, no matter how happy u get he's there to make sure ur not always like that

Oh noes! I forgot my licence and its all gods fault! I bet your going to make traffic around the DC area crazy too, just for me you evil old man!

It's his own perverse form of humor. You know, kind of like stabbing puppies.

we fap to fakku, god faps to fucking with us

That's hot. I also think most of this story is normal. I've driven back east a lot, and I know what to expect when driving to another state and what not. I always like travelling by car when I'm in the contiguous US.

Life is great at times, and then cruel at times, it likes to be unfair to everyone. (Everyone has their bad days... It happens) (And try to hang in there)

OH GOD <WALL> JUST CRIT <ME> FOR *6533* (566 overkill damage)
you die.

I was typing this exact thing up when I saw you had posted it. <3

wall of text

That's just what that area is like during the day. Especially around DC. Especially around DC with that construction that has apparently been going on for the past two decades.

God is telling you to move out of DC.

This thread makes me yearn for when paragraphs were still in style.

Oh, I got something better.

"WHEN GOD GIVES YOU LEMON, YOU FIND A NEW GOD."

A quote from the movie "The Devil's Advocate":

"Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does He do, I swear for His own amusement, his own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. Ahaha. And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is he doing? He's laughin' His sick, fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass! He's a SADIST! He's an absentee landlord!"

- John Milton

Dude. . . I go to univeristy of Maryland , college park. If you think thats bad wait untill you go in 795, 695, or 70 shit is nothin but traffic on week days 5pm-7pm

Wait what, God exists?

I disagree.

You were traveling the interstate during the day. That's your problem right there. Most Traffic Delays on the interstate are caused by Construction work, Commuters or accidents. 2/3 are more prominent during the day.

But I do feel your pain. I don't like flying so it's always Road trip when I do end up going somewhere. for the most part I try to leave about 9PM at night and drive till about 8am or so. Catch a few hours of sleep, and then finish the trip.