Pet peeves about being in a relationship

If you're in a relationship, what are some of the things that irk you abour your partner, or being in a relationship in general. If you're not in a relationship, tell me what are your worries/fears in regards to dating or being in a relationship.

Well, nothing really irks me about my girlfriend. She is perfect in everyway. She is too clumsy and that sometimes can get on my nerves, but that's also something I love about her, it makes me feel protective and I think it's cute, so even with all that, I like it.

I'm single right now and I'm finding it difficult to meet someone who understands I need to be on my own from time to time. I'm not actively looking, but when someone takes an interest in me and we start talking regularly I tell them this and assure them in advance it's not anything they've done, and they're often like "That's okay I understand, I get those days too", but arguements can ensue regardless because they get paranoid I've lost interest when I do go quiet for the day. Then they have a go at me which only serves to makes me want to talk to them less.

This song played in my head while reading.



I have those days 24/7, so being in a relationship is damn near impossible for me.

That my exes were fugly.

Never been in a relationship but my biggest fear would be offending them or them not caring about me as much as i care about them.

I wish my boyfriend had more kinks. I'm always the freakier one.

I feel you. It's the same with my girlfriend, and I hate the feeling I get sometimes that I might be indirectly forcing her to do stuff just to please me and my kinks...

It's all about give and take. I give her orgasms and she take my money. I use her neck and shoulders like a fucked up carpi sun and she uses my face as a grinding pad for her clit. She let's me keep my shit in a room of my own and i let her keep our room.... fuck the house how she wants.

Yeah! I worry about that too. But I'm sure she likes to please you, though. That's definitely a big fantasy.

Thanks, I know. What worries me is she thinks someday maybe I'll want something that she cannot give me, and that that will make me stop loving her. Like, I don't know, maybe I tell her I want to see how she is fucked by other guys, and she doesn't want to (Just to be clear, I don't have that fantasy, not yet anyways).

I have that fear too. But I think consistently reassuring her helps.

Probably. I don't think there's anything else I could do besides suppressing my own desires, and I don't think that's ok.

I've never been in a relationship so my fears are general acceptance of likes (anime, games etc), the fact that I do sometimes like my alone time, and because I'm 100% inexperienced the possible humiliation.
I'm so clueless about love that whoever I end up with will need to be very tolerable.

I would just say that if whoever you end up with doesn't respect any of your likes, you should just leave that person. No matter what, a realtionship shouldn't be prohibitive or disrespectful.

I once heard you should try and adapt to a relationship. Is that true or not?

Depends. Adapt too much (giving up hobbies you like, changing too much as a person for the sake of a relationship) and you will become miserable.

People forget that their partner is their own person who has their quirks and interests. Expecting too much of them and offering little in return just isn't fair.

Exactly, the kind of adaptation that is "acceptable" just comes naturally. Like, one of the best parts about it is that you can learn new things from the other person that you might like. But never ever should you give up something you enjoy and like just because the other person doesn't understand or just dislikes it.

For example, and this is a bit of personal experience:

I used to play basketball in high school, but all that ended when I entered college because of lack of time and a team to play with. I've never liked the gym as a form of exercise, because I find it rather boring, but my gf began doing it on her own and has encouraged me to try going out for a run with her. I've found that it is much more enjoyable this way and am beginning to feel better with myself too, because I was already feeling I needed to exercise somehow.
On the other hand, she had never watched or read hentai before, or she wasn't so into games or anime. But she tried it all because of me, cause she knew I liked it, and gave it a chance. She could have just hated it, and that would be ok, but never ask me to stop doing what I like. In the end, she did like a bunch of those things.
So that's what I meant, that's the only kind of "adaptation" that I think you should consider.

Well, that makes me feel a bit better about the whole thing now.
Hope they'd be just as willing as her.

You deserve someone who either shares your interests or is willing to try them and respect them.