Request for help from the Fakku Family (Kindda long)

:? ::smacks palm on forehead:: SHIT! I hope not!

your status as resident hot forum girl has saved you this time... don't let it happen again.

Well... it went both ways but, overall I'd say it wasn't the outcome I wanted.

She had her head in my lap while I ran my fingers through her hair. I listened to her tell me about some of her problems relating to her college roommates and how its dragging her down into the muck with all their problems. I comforted her and complimented her on how well she's handled everything. I gave a lot of encouragement and worked the conversation towards my goal. We had several interruptions but, eventually I was able to corner her upstairs (In an empty room since he's was beyond a disaster area). After all the interruptions and other bullshit. The conversation was hitting a even point and I decided to finally push myself over the edge and I piped up and said

(Me)"Ginger, can I confess something to you?"
(Her)"Sure."
(Me)*Leaned forward to make eye contact* "I like you. I have for a long time...since around 7th grade."
(Her)"I'm flattered...really. I like you too."

The conversation goes on for a little bit and we both realized there were separate times in which we narrowly missed asking the other out before. We laughed at the irony. She started to reply about how college is stressing her out and a emotional relationship is just a little too much (If you heard the whole story about the roomies you'd know it wasn't an excuse). I cleared up my point by saying that I'm not ready for a relationship either but, I just wanted her to know how I felt and whenever she's ready then so would I.

After a few minutes of just mulling over the irony and such. I get the line "I'm comfortable with our friendship the way it is". So, it wasn't a complete bust as I found out she likes me as well but, I failed overall because I'm forever stuck in the "friends zone". Realizing that the chances are slim to none.. The feelings are there but, the fear of ruining a friendship since she can't get herself mentally to move past the "friend" stage

I feel like I've been punched in the face.

Refuse to be put in the friend zone. Never give up,Never surrender, Never say die!

A great man once said."Believe in me, that believes in you."

well, thats life.. not everything will move the way you wanted them to.. the good thing is that you have told her what you really feel, and you now know what she feels for you.. you have released a burden of ya heart, even if you failed, that is way better than keeping it for yourself for an eternity.. you can now continue living with ease, continuing your friendshp the way it is..

but if you insist to go on fighting.. you can go and fight.. its not like we can do anything to stop you.. if thats what you wanted then so be it.. but if you decided to push trough there are chances that your friendship with her will never go back the way it was before.. from that point, its either u win her or u lose her..

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BTW: i know its off the topic.. i wanted to ask about your avatar fiery penguin of doom.. coz it looks familiar to me.. something like related to Monster Hunter ?? a girl "kirin" armor.. i guess..

Hmm... i don't know, i don't have experience in these things but what i feel is that it seems like she needs more convincing from you i mean she doesn't feel that your serious ... or am i wrong ? i dunno but thats what i feel after ur testimony ... anyway do what you have and need to do...

I REFUSE TO BELIEVE YOU ARE STUCK IN THE FRIENDS ZONE!!!!

If you really like her and you want her... keep it going... i PROMISE, things will work out. Like you said, she likes you... all it takes is for her to get ready for a relationship. Girls are like that... when they are ready, it's like a tiger ready to feed, they go after you. It's good that she knows... and as much as you two hang out... I wouldn't be surprised if a "moment" comes up and you two take it up another step. Just don't go too far or it will screw it up.

That's exactly how it seems to be going with my situation. We both agreed that it wasn't the right time, but we also realized that if we have feelings for each other, its worth giving a shot. Instead of just going through with it, we're just chilling, taking it slow, and seeing where it takes us. Its not a race, there's no limitations on love. Sometimes it just takes a little while for that spark to come.

Here's a pro advise :P


JUST GO FOR IT! Stop being a Fakku Densha Otoko, and make your feelings crystal clear for her

(i never thought i'd say this) CRABS FTW!

Like others have mentioned, you can either try harder or settle for another tree in the forest. Both options have their respective pros and cons. The first option may hurt the friendship (in the most extreme case), as well as the opportunity cost of other relationships being developed. For some people, they may regret giving up so easily when looking back at their lives.

well, I suggest that if you want to take it to the next level, (which for you might be a seriously serious relationship)that you be ready for what the consequences are.
Not trying to be a wet blanket but the whole BF and GF thing might not work out and then it might get REALLY awkward to be with each other and you might lose any contact with her whatsoever.

But then again it could really work and she might be the one you end up reproducing with.

Just think about it for a while longer.

I let the offer keep standing. I'll keep pushing in a way to make sure that if we took the next step that it'll work. One of the last things I said to her as I was leaving her house was "I've waited seven years to tell you. I can wait some more until your ready".

She said that she's letting it digest in her head (she was really tired at that point) and I'm waiting on the final result of her decision. If she places me in the friend zone I'll make it crystal clear that I desire something more than being a friend. I waited a long time to be mature and adult enough to be able to date her and give her the kind of man she deserves. Rather than have her date the childish guy I was before.

even though the result was not the way you wanted to be, i think you're still on the right track

you love her and she loves you back, i think you gonna be alright :wink:

She just needs to get past the mental hangup of getting past seeing me as a friend. Hopefully, she'll see I was serious and etc,etc

Last conversation gives the final verdict. She's not changing the nature of our relationship. I have several traits that aren't desirable for her.

I'm going to go be emo for a while...

was she specific?

"Emotionally unstable" I used to be quick to anger and whenever something got to me I sulked over in the corner like an anime character.

"Bad reputation with women" Several girls I dated seemed less like girlfriends and more like friends with benefits kind of relationships. I dated a couple that gave the vibe to'em but, ultimately I just wanted a girl who accepts my political view (libertarian) and my belief (Atheism). As well as a few "quirks" I have like trying to be a modern day knight (Chivalry isn't dead IMHO)

There was one more but, I can't remember it. Anyways, I've changed all those things I deem negative a while back but, since we see each other so rarely while she is in college I'm not surprised that she'd still have the old idea of me.

The thing is she also knows I'm not above violence. I grabbed a guy by his throat and held him in the air (Slowly strangling him). I threatened to throw him down a flight of stairs in his own home for touching one of my female friends inappropriately. To this day the guy runs in fear of me knowing I came within an inch of killing the bastard. I took four people and the pleas of Ginger and a another close friend for me to finally let him go.

I'm the anti-hero kind of person. Most of the people who know me classify me overall as the anti-hero.

Thanks for the tips.