Swift kick to the nuts

Once threw a laminated snowball (snow ball with an ice coating) directly into my uncles bait and tackle. He crumple forward and fell face first into the snow holding his crotch and making low guttural moans afterward he tried to reciprocate with a regular non laminated snowball but it just broke harmlessly over my fly.

Probably my most funny on the subject though is when I went to the Oregon Country Fair and was chatting up a good looking petite blonde woman. Well I had been walking with her around the grounds for some time and I wanted to sit because my feet were tired. So I sat on a stone memorial bench there that was shaped like a dragon. (Someone built it for a OCF crew member that died the thing even had light up eyes and it's nostrils diffused smoke.) Anyway as I sat down she remained standing and kept explaining the story she was in the process of telling me. Apparently as an interesting hook and an excuse to sit in my lap she plopped down on my lap as part of the story. However a combination of ill fitting pants, unpreparedness for her to do so on my part, and impeccable timing on her part she ended up flopping down on and sitting directly on my testicle. Let me tell you, I have had exposed nerve pain before and this was the closest thing to it I can think of. For a few minutes I cringed in agony as I tried my hardest to keep a straight face and not push her off into the Forrest floor and hurt her. (She was thin and frail I wanted not to hurt her.) So I patiently listened to the end of the story while trying not to cry in pain. As she finished some minutes later and slipped off my lap I fell off the bench curled in a tight ball with with a few tears and heavy sighs of pain and mild relief she was at least off of it. People walked by and started. When she asked what the hell I was doing, fearing I was doing something disgusting in her presence, I explained the situation and she was actually very supportive, offering to get me ice and patting me on the back while I recovered and keeping people from staring. Every time I saw her and she wanted to sit in my lap after that she always asked if it was okay and then eased into the center from the side. I guess she didn't want to risk hurting me in such a way again.