what not to say during a funeral

(fairly similar to angelus laspus's thread)

what can yo uthink of that is a bad thing to say at a funeral? the reason why i ask is because i asked this question to people i actually know in person, and no one could think of anything.

i got one

you know he kinda looks better dead.

lol, this is quite an interesting thread.
Maybe i got some bad things too.

"Hey dude, is it just me or why i am getting hungry?"
"It's smells really fishy here, or is it just my imagination?"
"How did he died actually? I dunno..."

These are just speculations and i wish nobody would ask such things at my funeral~

-You know, seeing her lying there turns me on.

-Things that used to belong to the dead guy, one dolla one dolla one dolla.

-You people have a good reason for crying. That bitch is going to hell.

-So, I killed your husband like I promised. When is our wedding?

Here's one:

- Hey, at least she finally shut up.

(horrible, I know...)

- Damn, that bastard forgot to give me his PORNZ

- Hey, you dont mind touching her boobs, right?

- Oh, she is dead? Oh ok, well im off to read manga then.

Too fucking easy

-Listen guys, I'll be back I gotta wank.

-Hold up, hold up, don't bury him yet I'm going to check his wallet first.

-Hi, are you her mother? I'm sorry for your loss; I loved her so much and
she gave me the best blow jobs I've ever had.

-No, I'm not his friend or anything, I just came here to see if the hitman did his job.

-So uh, now that he's gone, um, can I have the porn stash?

-so how much for 15 minutes alone with the body?
-and the last thing I said to him was "I don't know try it"

good bye see you im hell :twisted:

I'm jasper the douchebag ghost.

"Why bury her at all? I'm just going to dig her up again later, you're wasting everyone's time."

i thought of another
-Looks like hes not getting his money/porn back

-So, who wants to meet him up in heaven?*BOOM*

-I don't have any flowers with me, but don't worry, I'll give him something else organic. I needed to piss anyways.

-How much longer do I have to stay in this shithole? My hooker's waiting for me.

-Hey, hey, did anyone else know the cause of death? Oh yeah? *Yells* Hey John, he got a heart attack. I know; boring shit.

I'll be here all week people.

''- The funny thing is that I told him he couldn't do it.''

''- Is this thing going to take long? I'm starving.''

"Dibs."

Also, "You know, he looks better with that hole in his face. Maybe it's just me."

And finally, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

is it a good thing rbz is good at this? lol jk

i have one i thought of

i think this coffins too small for her...

A bit off topic but quite related.

"where's the corpse" ?

scary O_o

"We be grillin' tonight!"

-She was shouting and begging me to spare her but i just cut her just like that

-His wifes widowed, time to make my move.

*walking away dramatically* "Whatever life holds in store for me, I will never forget these words: 'With great power comes great responsibility.' This is my gift, my curse. Who am I? I'm Spider-man."