So things started out okay with MVP and Mark Henry vs Jeri-Show. Decent match. Just kinda whatever.
Then Miz vs Kofi stepped things up. I thought their match was really good. I was genuinely surprised by the quality of Miz's performance. That match would've stolen the show for me if not for...
...Legacy vs DX! They had an awesomely brutal match and I loved it. These guys are really good at beating each other up. And it was made even better by Legacy winning. I figured WWE would never go outside of their
WWE Box of Standard Outcomes so that was a welcomed surprise.
Here's hoping for a tag team Hell in a Cell match next PPV. *crosses fingers*
But alas. These feelings of elation were not meant to last.
Queue everything going to shit...
NOW!
Next match; Kane vs Khali.
Snore!
Kane is good! Put him in there with someone who, oh, I don't know, has a better moveset than fucking Frankenstein's monster! GAHL!
Then after that was Regal vs Christian. It was alright actually. I liked it, but still a kinda forgettable match.
But now we come to the main events!
This is what's billed as the biggest and best matches of the PPV!
They should be super hardcore buttsex awesome, right?!
WRONG!
Terrible main events! Just awful!
First of all, what's the point in putting Golden Boy John Cena in an I Quit match. WWE would never, NEVER let him show weakness of ANY kind! And that match was boring as shit! If I wanted to see a guy chain up another guy and torture him, I'd... well I'd probably be gay. haha. But seriously, did anyone else laugh at how homoerotic that was? Maybe I just find anything Randy Orton does as gay though. :lol:
Anyway, back to the match!
So this torture went on stagnantly for what felt like forever until
the prophet John Cena cast off the shackles of oppression and defeated the evil, demented Viper-like beast to reclaim his lost treasure! <--- John Cena's interpretation of the match the next night on Raw. :roll:
And another thing that really bugged about the match was that Orton quit like 7 seconds after the STF was applied. How lame is that?!
That match just sucked all around.
Sidenote:
Could they have used the term "breaking point" anymore in this fucking PPV?!
Fuck you, commentating team! Fuck you!
:Back to my shitty review:
Okay, so here we go! Finally, it's the Undertaker vs CM Punk match! Something to salvage the previous match! Hooray!
... Oh, but, what's this? This match is just as bad as the last one?!
NO!!!!
*sigh*
Sooo, yeah, here's how it went down:
They basically, just go back and forth, nothing really going on, and BOOM!, Taker wins just like that. Crappy ending right?
Oh, but wait! It gets worse! Vickie Guerrero banned that move! (I know what you're thinking, who the hell is she? She was that screeching pig-monster that they made Edge kiss all the time. Yeah, her.) Anyway, so that calls for them to restart the match!
So Punk locks in the Anaconda Vise and the ref calls for the bell without a tap out....
Are you serious?
Was that supposed to be funny? Was WWE trying to be cute? Did they think people would get a kick out of it?! Seriously, that was.. just... something else.
And let me make myself clear, I'm not mad that Taker got screwed, it's happens, it's wrestling, I get it; I'm mad that they decided to it in such a.. a...
I really can't think of the right word to describe what that was.
Predictable?
Unimaginative?
Boring?
Desperate?
Or just plain stupid?!
I don't know. Take your pick.
*deep breath*
And rant ends....
NOW!
So overall, I guess it was a decent show with mostly good matches. I'm just really upset by the main events.
Oh, and one more thing, they skipped JoMo vs Ziggler!
What, they couldn't have fit that in with all their groundbreaking new material like John Cena overcoming the odds and a Montreal screwing for the Undertaker? 'Cause, ya know, they really needed Kane vs Khali in the show! Goddammit! I mean, seriously-NO! Done ranting...
For now...
Ah well, maybe a Punk vs Taker Hell in a Cell match can make me forget about all this debauchery.
MMMM... Just knowing the next PPV is Hell in a Cell is already getting my hopes up that it'll be bett...Oh man, I just realized that the Cena/Orton rivalry probably isn't over yet!
NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
*passes out from lameness overdose and too much pizza*
And that's my review.
See ya next PPV :D ... :) ... :? ... :( ... :cry: