Hentai vs Reality

Most of the stuff that ends up in the vanilla area is considered ok, the more "ntr" like stuff isn't likely to transfer well to reality. Some of the more controversial ones. wellll..

TLDR: If you know it's wrong, odds are you won't do it IRL, that's why you read the kind of hentai.

Netorare: fullstop, no. nobody wants this irl. The idea behind it is to literally feel like something got stolen from you. Nobody in a serious relationship wants that. A decent example of people disliking ideas of netorare, even if it's not their wife/ significant other is any Oh! My Goddess hentai. The comments section on Crystal's work is filled with almost nothing but people loathing it, not because we want Belldandy (ok, I bet some/most do [I know I do], but bear with me) but because it's so out of character and against what we expect from someone in such a vanilla relationship it gets venomous responses. It's made to make you feel bad, thus you don't want it.

Mind break: Mental degradation of a person to the point of mindlessness either takes months to years of work (brainwashing by any other name is still brainwashing), if you're lucky. Or copious amounts of drugs that nobody short of a deep black market seller would even have/ be willing to give you. and then you have to get them administered which probably involves kidnapping to begin with. No matter how you look at it, this is still pretty illegal and damn near impossible to pull off without SEVERE reprimand by anyone who found out. Stuff like "The Dark Pingpong Club" where someone is missing for DAYS on end wouldn't work if you're stupid enough to hide them somewhere remotely public (on school grounds especially). The entire notion of isolation is necessary too, because if the person isn't kept in that mindset, they will have willpower and be able to resist. If someone goes missing for days on end with no word, police will get involved. And if you're found with a drugged up person in your apartment/ house, you are going to be in legal hell unless you have ridiculously powerful friends in high places.
Not to mention most people by default can't be bribed into agreeing to it. 99% of the time if someone proposed to you "let's kidnap, drug up and rape that hot chick until she's a cum dump" people would call the cops on you or beat you. I've been to bars and seen a guy get caught by one of those anti-rape drug straws. He was lucky he had teeth and unbroken bones when he got thrown out because the bouncers didn't stop people from beating him as he tried to leave (he was limping out and missing at least 6 teeth that were found at the door).

Gore: You can't do it irl. that's called murder.

Vore: also impossible irl, not worth discussing. if you like being licked all over, that's fine and dandy if your partner likes it too.

Scat: you can kiiinda get away with this one. Urine is in fact, completely sterile so peeing in/on someone won't do anything bad per se...but actual feces? nope. ignoring that it's literally all the things your body didn't want/use from your food, it has tons of bacteria inside it the breaks down stuff. Which, your body is ok with, but someone else's bacteria sends your system into "OMG WTF IS THIS SHIT GET RID OF IT" mode.

Chikan: Again, pretty much illegal and may as well just be a specific type of exhibitionism. In Japan, it's a serious problem, so much so that women have filed petitions to get gender segregated cars.

Reverse rape: still rape, still illegal.

Consensual rape: you can't use those words like that, either you agree, or don't.

Incest: most of the time you don't want to bang your relatives. and no matter how much people tell you "relative X is hot" you look at them and go "ehhh...related" and you can't get turned on. The notion of two people not having grown up together and suddenly being siblings and finding each other attractive, that makes sense and I can't see many people having problems with it because they are only related by law, not blood. Things like KissXSis don't really make sense because they have the whole "grew up with this person" thing going, and interest dulls over time.

Exhibitionism: In hentai, you go out naked, nobody does anything and you fuck who you wanted. In reality, You get photos taken, you end up on the internet, and nobody censors your face. You will be lucky if you're not outed by your friends and family as a pervert if you get caught. as Bakapink said, doing things at night is just asking for pneumonia, and broad daylight is asking to become a social outcast.

Humiliation: Kinda depends on the person, if you're sadistic enough, you'll get off on others being humiliated, usually runs hand in hand with exhibitionism though. Blackmail scenarios are not as common. Hentai likes to show "I have embarrassing photo of you so do as I say" scenes. This works fine in hentai, and hell, maybe if your Public Image is really that important. But in real life, and you get caught with anything considered that kind of picture, the photographer/ picture holder is in a ton of trouble.

Shota/loli: no. children are not sexy. there is a difference between looking young, and looking like a child. A flat chested adult does not look like a flat chested teenager or a child and vice versa.

Pain induction: again, takes a special mindset. otherwise, getting your privates or any other body part whipped/hit until it bleeds will not turn you on.

Anal: Unless you get enema's regularly, you probably don't go showing people your asshole, let alone letting them lick inside it. The idea you can fuck someone's ass, then have them lick you clean is not only unrealistic, but outright unsanitary. same with anal to vaginal sex. Great way to get a nasty infection in/ on someplace.

Now certain ones are situational, but some of the ones filled by job positions are almost all opinion based. Hentai does tend to gloss over stuff though.

Housewife: Personally, I like older women, but that's because my ex's have all been younger girls (my age when I was dating them and I just hit 23). But older women are usually calmer, less jealous and clingy. Also, most guys who have a smoking hot wife DON'T just ignore her at home. Also, if you're in a neighborhood filled with housewives, odds are you'll be spotted visiting one by another.

Nurses: Speaking as someone who is related to a few nurses, and friends with student nurses and doctors. No, the nurse will not bang you. You showing them your penis will not excite them, you're in the hospital, behave while your there or you may not get the sufficient dose of pain killer for a few days. Likewise, a woman showing a male nurse her vagina won't work either. Most hospitals have security systems, and if you get caught touching someone inappropriately, your ass is fucked. At (unrealistically) best, you'll get moved to a new hospital, you say NOTHING about your transfer to anyone and don't dare try it again. Worst, you're not getting hired again anytime soon because you're a rapist as far as everyone else is concerned.

Maid: It's power fantasy. you control them, they don't resist. Pretty simple, you probably don't like the maid outfit for any other reason.

Cosplay: fantasy realization, also, make sure the person wearing the outfit is ok with you possibly getting jizz on it.

Anything ending with "Dere": With the possible exception of Kuudere, most people wouldn't date these kinds of folk. Tsundere will irritate you because of their flipflopping nature, Yandere is flat fuck terrifying and you usually get them legally restrained (or physically) as soon as you realize what they are. Kuudere being the exception because these are the ones who eventually open up JUST to you and otherwise aren't negative towards you. Though them being impartial will eventually get old and you may tell them to either shape up or end the relationship.