[size=29]Microsoft:[/h]
That mgs music video was fucking baller. (Sins of the father is the new snake eater)
Kojima-san wrote...
We make-a metar gear sorid sine with big graphic powa and smart grass.
World of tanks: 50 seconds of nothing but what might as well be the same tank ejaculating its heavy load with the force of a thousand suns. It's always amusing to see the porn the more niche audiences watch. This one was gang rape.
Some kiddie shit.
Dark souls 2: Oh god, mah dick.
Ryse: Ye olde call of duty, featuring the scripted shit and QTEs we know and love, but with more face-to-face, sweaty, man on man action. (Bioware involvement confirmed.)
Crytek rep wrote...
We couldn't create this game until consoles had at least 5 billion transistors.
Killer Instinct: What the fuck kind of reveal was that? Too low a budget for the cinematic shit the other games got?
Sunset overdrive:
Insomniac rep wrote...
something we could only do on xbone
The marketing assholes writing this shit aren't even trying.
Forza: On-stage car porn. Oh god, someone think of the childrens! This is pretty much dragon's dogma vroom vroom edition.
MINECRAFT ON XBOX111!!ONE! Yawn.
QB: Game based on a tv show. Clearly a goty in the making. Step up your game, micro-softie.
D4:
More smart grass technology.
Micro-softie rep wrote...
We're moving from our monopoly money to for reals money.
All this technological advancement is happening too fast for me.
Crimson Dragon: it is our goal to bring you innovation and a quality gaming experience, so as part of the next advancement in gaming, we bring you *dramatic pause* no sound. Only on xbox one.
Deadrising 3: more zombies and shit, with a mechanic reminiscent of Mercenaries.
Witcher 3: hide your women; the beardman cometh.
Battlefield 4: technical difficulties edition. We don't have doggies, but we've got more wub wub. Pls dont buy cowadoody.
Xbone exclusive claimed to be showing in game graphics. Bullshit.
Holy shit, master chief found the next gen legendary pokemon.
$500. Taken exclusively by Xbox one.
Titanfall: I thought black ops 2 was the futuristic cod (and you even get splashed with digital jelly when shot). Hard to be impressed by robo midgets after seeing Hawken. Then again, I'm more of an armored core motherfucker.
Conference rating: JediMindTrick/10
You
will forget xbox one's shit, anti-consumer policies. You
will bend over and let us xbone you in november.
I'll do a hit job on sony's conference in my next post. I'm sure there'll be
some bullshit.
EA conference in a nutshell:
>NEXT GENURAYSHUN!
>Playing demos on a pc
Get fucked, EA. Deepen your knowledge of true ball handling.