Mah nigga Conan's words were like gospel. Conan spoke for every self-respecting, heterosexual human male on the planet. I agree with every single noise that came out of his mouth, including the part about him being a woman in a man's body, but especially the part where he asserts that the devs are geniuses. How? Lara Croft is perfect. She is a 10/10 on some scales and 14/10 on others. She has a perfect face, she has perfect lips, eyes, nose, and hair. She has the perfect hip to waist ratio and she's fit. She has perfect tits, perfect cleavage, and moans a lot (the moans are, of course, perfect too; sexy, but not the "get this vibrator out of me, I'm trying to concentrate" kind of sexy). The camera angle was carefully researched and QTEs are a major part of the game (so I've heard). Which is brilliant because it frees up one of your hands to handle more important matters.
The people at Crystal Dynamics are wonderful, plus they have a great sense of humor. Remember that time when a trailer featured attempted sexual assault and the feminists went apeshit? Then Crystal trolled them by getting a female dev to defend the game. Now they released the game and it's just X amount of hours of femtrolling. They made the game sexy, but not sexy to the point where feminists will have a valid argument, like they would with a game like DMC4 (Lady and Trish) or Mass Effect 3 (EDI and Chobot). This new Lara Croft has earned her place among the likes of Lightning (from FF13-2 and beyond). Speaking of whom, I like how Square Enix perfected her after FF13.
If you are a red-blooded, self-respecting, proper-taste-in-women-having, heterosexual male, then after seeing these:
if your first thought isn't "where do I insert," then you don't deserve to bask in this era's CG and should go back to the early 1990s, where women had trapezoid tits.