[Contest Entry] No Title Needed

It was a dark and snowy night due to it being Christmas Eve and I was walking home from my job at the steel mill. Hoping to get to see my family in time for dinner, and so I could be up with my family. When I tripped over a dead homeless man. Needless to say I was shocked and quite honestly I was frightened. Not because he was dead but because he was dead by THROWING STARS! I ran hoping that the person who had done this was no where around and didn't see me because this guy had to be fucked up! Then out of nothing comes a sword and grazes my face. It's a ninja I scream "WHAT THE FUCK!" and try to run then I am surrounded! I try to throw some dirt at the them but they are to fast I can already tell my Christmas wouldn't be to merry. Then out of nowhere a man with a beard comes and beats the shit out of the ninjas and rips off their heads! I assume it's a Christmas miracle and that Jesus has come to save me. When I say "Thank you Jesus!" and go to cry at his feet he kicks me in the face and breaks my jaw while saying "My name is Jacob and I am not fixing the shit that's wrong with fakku!". He then fly's away and now I am stuck in a mental hospital because no one will believe my totally not a fable.

I think you're stuck in a mental hospital for other reasons...

-rep for the best story in the world.

And Mr.President please I don't need to be in the loony-bin I am perfectly sane...just ask my invisible friend Col. Schwartz

Not classy.

Does a totally not fable need to be?

Fine maybe it's not classy but it's a partially true.

Bleh. Mental Hospital indeed, and to all a good night.

Part 2

After seeing that strange man fly away I was confused as to what he meant by "Fakku!" was it a third world country? So me being powerful in the ways of the internet I found out what this "Fakku" was and still is. It was breeding ground for putrid slime the likes of which I had never seen. I was intrigued I had to find out more so I created an account christmas day to see what the hell was going on I had made a thread and I got -reputation for it whatever that meant. I thought to myself I must've done something to piss off the masses but what could it be? And I then state my opinion on people and they -rep me again. I can clearly see these people are not ones who enjoy other people opinions and will surely attack you for it. I was then called something rather unfamiliar I believe it was a "troll" and I thought to myself what could this be? What is troll? I came to find out by another user named Waar that "it's what a lot of kids do (call someone a troll) when they can't comprehend the confidence and class someone has." So I can now see that this lot of people aren't classy at all but are in fact ignorant. So I have decided to stay on Fakku to better the users not all of course, because some can't be helped and some simply don't need help they are "Classy" enough.

Part 3, (i took the liberty of continuing the story)

But then I woke up and it was all just a dream...

(a crap story needs a crap ending right?)

my story is way better than the cutesy crap everyone else is spewing.

inb4 Classy gets more negrep.

Don't be one of the annoying posters who tries to build -reputation instead of positive. Remember what my Grandfather always said: "Choose to have class, and stop being such an ass."

cool story bro hurry up with part 3

I do not force an opinion on others. If their mindset is to -rep me then that is their prerogative not mine. I do not control how other people react to things that I post I just control what I post.

I'm a black sheep in a heard of white ones.

I found it rather humorous. You people need to lighten up.

That was fucking creative I laughed so hard on it, how could someone neg-repped this piece of art?

Because if you speak the truth about jacob or fakku you get -repped because all these people wanna justify the cock sucking they do.

Did I never comment on this? Mercy me. For the record, I enjoyed it. Uncle Phil-tier parody.

Refreshing. Also Zoidberg, so I can't really dispute that.

And yet it wasn't "worthy" of being put in a poll.