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[Contest Entry] No Title Needed

Classy · 2010-12-27T08:06:10-01:00

It was a dark and snowy night due to it being Christmas Eve and I was walking home from my job at the steel mill. Hoping to get to see my family in time for dinner, and so I could be up with my family. When I tripped over a dead homeless man. Needless to say I was shocked and quite honestly I was frightened. Not because he was dead but because he was dead by THROWING STARS! I ran hoping that the person who had done this was no where around and didn't see me because this guy had to be fucked up! Then out of nothing comes a sword and grazes my face. It's a ninja I scream "WHAT THE FUCK!" and try to run then I am surrounded! I try to throw some dirt at the them but they are to fast I can already tell my Christmas wouldn't be to merry. Then out of nowhere a man with a beard comes and beats the shit out of the ninjas and rips off their heads! I assume it's a Christmas miracle and that Jesus has come to save me. When I say "Thank you Jesus!" and go to cry at his feet he kicks me in the face and breaks my jaw while saying "My name is Jacob and I am not fixing the shit that's wrong with fakku!". He then fly's away and now I am stuck in a mental hospital because no one will believe my totally not a fable.