High School Fic

Hi there! As you can see, my Imagination tank is finally full again!

But my jokes have gone down the drain. :cry:

I have sooo much free time at school that i'm goddamn bored! That's why i'm using that time to create a Story^^

I dunno if it's good but since i'm bored as hell :twisted:

Still not finished with the first half of the first chapter. But heres a sneak preview:



Yeah. I know. Not much, eh? already worked out both protagonists names and the school the boy is attending. Still working on friends and foes names though. Suggestions can be good^^


Edit:

PS

Don't expect it to be Good. I just putted in here what first came to my mind. (except the names. gotta hve good names)


EDIT June 1, 2012

As you may have noticed, I didn't post any of the chapters here in the front page. Rather, I left them where they are.... somewhere in this thread, where they were originally posted.

Why?

Because it's fun to read people's reaction as they make their way through both this thread and my story, that's why :3

Some minor plot issues, but otherwise, it's interesting. I would read it.

I'll look into it as soon as you post it. Reviews are sparse here, I myself haven't gotten one yet so I've been browsing around the forums to see what other people have. I am looking forward to this.

:twisted:

Finished with the first half. I think there's lots of typos, but oh well. Unless people appreciate this, I won't care as much as I do now.

Anywayz Here it is^^

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Chapter 1.1

Briiiiiing!!! The bell rang and Soushi covered the clock in a attempt to block the sound and covered his head with his blanket, continuing his sleep.

"SOUSHI!"

He jerked at the sound of the voice and slowly lowered his blanket to eye-level, only to see his mother glaring at him.

"Two minutes" Soushi said and tried to continue his sleep again. But to no avail, as his mother snatched his blanket from him.

"It's almost noon and the sun is shining brightly today!" She said as she opened the curtains, letting sunlight enter Soushis room.

"Argh!" Soushi said "Alright mom! I'm up, i'm up."

"Good. You should get out more often, instead of sleeping the day away." His mother said as she left his room.

"Mothers" He sighed and proceeded to do his morning rituals.

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"Take that! And this! And that too!" Soushi said as the words WINNER flashed brightly across the screen. Taking his mothers advice, he decided to walk around town and get some fresh air. And nothing is more fresh than the smell of Victory in an arcade^^

The 2nd round was about to start when someone grabbed his collar and yanked him away from his game.

"Hey! What the hell is your problem?!" Soushi said as he glared at the two large men. One was skinny and the other was just huge.

"Sorry kid. We ran outta quarters" The huge man laughed. "Yeah, this is our game now" said the skinny one.

Soushi, being the good kid that he is, never bothered with it and just walked away from them, still feeling a bit pissed off. He started to walk around town when he ended up in a park. He walked farther and found an empty bench. A bit tired, Soushi sat on the bench and rested a bit

'Life is soo boring' He thought 'I wish at least something would happen. At least once.' After resting, his stomach growled. So he walked away from the park an into the town, looking for a good place to eat.

Now who would've thought that his wish would actually come true?

Chapter 1.1 End

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Yeah. Not much of an opening, eh? I was wondering if I should use japanese words for this story(basic ones, like "arigato" and other polite words)

Gonna work on the 2nd half of chapter one once i'm at school again.

(or if i'm bored as hell)

Hahahaha. I had too much time this week. And before I knew it, Ta-da! First Chapter is finished^^

Again. Please don't expect much. I just let my mind do the writing^^

Anywayz, here's Chapter 1.2


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Chapter 1.2

After eating, he noticed it was dark outside and checked his watch. "Damn, it's getting late. Better get home fast". He started to walk and took a left towards an alleyway. He was still walking when he heard voices

"Come on little girl"

"Yeah come on, we'll have tons of fun!"

"Please stop it"

Soushi was suprised. He hid behind a dumpster and took a peek. 'Those are the two guys I met earlier' He thought. He peeked a bit more and saw who they were talking to. A girl about his age was clutching her bag across her chest and was on the verge of tears.

"Come on girlie" the skinny guy said as he grabbed her arm, but she pulled away. "No! Get away from me!" the girl shouted. The big guy, annoyed, forcefully grabbed her arm and began to drag her away. "NO! Please stop it!" By this time, the girl started crying while trying to resist the big man.

'Dammit. Weapon, weapon!' Soushi looked around frantically for anything to use, and saw three rocks. 'This'll do' He thought and came out of his hiding place. "Hey you!" Shouted Soushi. The two guys halted and turned around. "Who the hell are you? said the big guy. "Hey! It's the kid from the arcade!" "You're right. What the hell do you want kid?" The big buy asked. "Let the girl go! Can't you see she doesn't want to go with you?!" Soushi said.

"This aint your problem, kid. Now scram." The big guy said before he started to walk away, dragging the girl. "Please help me!" The girl shouted and the big guy, finally pissed off, slapped the girl across the face. "Shut UP!"

Angry, Soushi threw a rock towards the big guys head and hitted him in the forehead. "Ow! why you..." He let go of the girls arm and charged towards Soushi, fist in the air. Soushi threw another rock and, this time, hitted the big man on the "Groin". The big guy fell forward and unto his knees, clutching his "Jewels". Then Soushi looked at the Skinny guy and threw the third rock towards him, hitting his "Baton". The skinny guy went down, fast, while clutching his "Stick". Soushi then ran towards the girl and grabbed her hand. "RUN!" commanded soushi and he guided her through the crowd of people.

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(This is where I totally sucked at)

They ran towards the park and took a rest in a bench. "I don't think...they're following us..." Soushi said between breaths. Both didn't speak for sometime before the girl broke the silence.

"Thank you" The girl said "I don't know what I would've done if you didn't appear"

"Nah. It was nothing." Satoshi said and examined the girl.

She had long, black hair that went a bit past her shoulderblades. Wearing a pink blouse, red jacket, a skirt and black boots, she really looked cute. He also noticed that she was around the size C-cup 'D-cup maybe' Soushi thought. She had long, slender legs and she was a bit smaller than he is.

"Umm..." He looked at her and noticed that she was blushing.

Noticing that his cheeks are heating up, Soushi quickly said "S-s-sorry! I didn't mean to stare at you!"

"N-no, it's okay" And they both fell silent once again. W-well, I guess I should get going then" said the girl and she stood up. "Oh! Well, take care and nice meeting you". "Nice meeting you too" said the girl and began to walk away, but stopped and turned back to look at him.

"Yuki!"

"What?"

"My name! Nagato Yuki!"

Suprised, he replied "Soushi! Kagesora Soushi! I hope we meet again!"

"Me too." she smiled, turned around and walked away.

Happy, Soushi went home with a grin plastered on his face.
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"I'm home" Soushi said as soon as he arrived home. He ignored her mothers tantrums and went straight towards his room. 'Man, what a day' He sighed 'so much for being a good kid'. He layed on his bed and closed his eyes. 'Nagato Yuki, huh. I wonder if i'll be able to see her again' He thought. He replayed the events in his head and remembered how she blushed when he was staring at her. 'But really. Who wouldn't stare at someone so cute' He thought before finally drifting to sleep.
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Chapter 1.2 End

Yup. 1st chapter. I'm still doing this story since I have free time. And i'll continue this story only during my free time. So don't expect a good story. I just let my mind do the writing.

Although I need help coming up with a few names for friends and foes. Suggestions would be nice^^



Edit:

Changed the japanese words to english, but I think i'm gonna keep the -san, -sama, -kun, -chan and others

BTW. I forgot to tell this. I had fun writing different names for the word "Penis" so it wont be too vulgar^^

i'll be frank......lose the japanese words!!! it kills the feel of the story. Frankly, your 1st half wasn't bad but the japanese words ruined the 2nd half. I'm not saying i hate japanese words....in fact i love them but it kills the feel so lose it

Bonus points for the renaming of the genitalia. I find it a turn off to read penis and vagina, and I'm not too fond of the slang for them either.

I'm 1/4 finished with chapter 2. School is still boring as hell. But things will get serious once October comes.

Ahhh, good ol' October - let's all welcome exams...

Mmm... Interesting story indeed. It's sooo... Relaxed, and I don't hate it.

The slang terms you used for the genitalia were somewhat comic, but not in my taste. I agree with Noutakun about the use of the words 'penis' and 'vagina', although I wouldn't call them a turn off seeing as so far, when mentioned, the situation wasn't what I'd call sensual. Mmm... I'm trying to decide which would be worse in a sex scene though - "Your penis is plunging deep into my vagina" or "Your stick is plunging deep into my pussy". I think I prefer the one with the actual names.

Back on topic, I think that in this story, it would have been more suited just to mention the general area like you did when you said 'groin'.

Anyway, let your mind to the writing here, not the viewers. Also, character names aren't so important as of yet. Heck, call them letters for now. Once you've completely sussed out their characters then decide on a fitting name. A good evil name might be Vlad (short for Vladimir), although not sure whether you want to keep the names Japanese. Although... Foreign villain - rather raunchy, is it not?

Not a villain, but I already have a foreign Hero

Okay. Names = Letters. Not a bad idea^^


ANYWAYS.

I'm half finished with chapter 2, but i'm already thinking a plot for chapter 3 (Cool! Multitasking!) and writing it is gonna be quite fun^^

Dont expect too much. It's my mind that does all the work^^

EDIT:

I guess I forgot to tell you this, huh. This is my first time actually putting a story in writing. All the other stories I created and imagined got lost inside my mind.(and they had pretty good plots too^^) Well, that's all. expect it coming in 1 and a half weeks, tops.

Lol. almost 1 and half weeks, but only done about half of chapter 2(that's what I get for not getting bored now with a psp!). Anyways, I think i'm having an issue with writing. You know, where the writer can't think of a good plot? I think it's called writers block. Oh well, just wanna say that.

Chapter 2: Half-Done
Chapter 3: Started Writing

well i cant wait this was a good read

i lawled at "jewels", funny stuff keep at it

oh, and wat's the title of this fic? can't seem to find it... unless its called "high school fic" well then... err... ya

Hmm... I just finished Chapter 2 and still writing Chapter 3. Anyways, I think that i'm going too fast with the relationship... oh well, the mind is what works these things.

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Chapter 2

It's been three weeks since Soushi rescued Yuki from the two thugs. School has finally started and Soushi is running late.

"Damn alarm clock. Why of all times did the battery die today!" He checked his watch, cursed himself, and ran full speed towards 'Tenjou Gakuen'.

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"ahh... somehow... I... made it" Soushi said between breaths. After catching his breath, he stared up and looked at the School Watch-Tower. "What the hell?!" Soushi said. It seems his watch was 30min earlier than the clock. "Damn, all the rush for nothing" he slumped.

"Soushi!"

'Oh no... I know that voice' Soushi thought before a hand slapped his back, sending waves of pain through his nerves and body before falling face first into the ground.

"Yo, Soushi! Haven't seen you since Graduation!" The girl grinned.

"Karin! I knew it was you" Soushi sighed as Karin helped him up. Dusting himself, he asked "why are you here? I thought you were gonna attend some other school?"

"That's true" she smiled "But the school I was supposed to attend is far away. And I hate waking up early. So, I decided to attend this one! It's much more nearer and it doesn't require to wake up beofre the sun is up!"

"oh" He sweatdropped

Karin Scarlett. A girl Soushi met back when he was still a freshman in middle school. She has a long, brown hair that's she always keep in a ponytail. And at least a size D. She's also a bit smaller than Soushi. An athlethic and brave girl, she occasionaly lets her mind speak for her. he met Karin when a few boys were ganging up on her. He helped her get away from them and since then, Karin bugged Soushi to become her friend until finally, he gave up. 'That was a loong time ago though. But really, a girl with that kind of strenght is somehow unnatural' He thought.

They reached the list of classes and both seperated to search for their respected classrooms. '1-B' Soushi thought and went away to look for Karin. While he was looking for her, he accidentally bumped into a blonde haired girl. "Ah, Sorry" Soushi said as he bowed slightly. But it seems she didn't even notice him as she kept on walking. 'Weird' he thought.

"Ah! There you are!" Soushi turned and saw Karin walking towards him.

"What class are you in?"

"1-B, you?"

"Yay! Were in the same class!"

"What? No way!" He said with a shocked look on his face 'At this rate, I won't live long enough to graduate' he cried inside. "Well then. Since we're now classmates" she bowed "please take care of me again" Karin said as she straightened up and slapped his back again, making Soushi fall to his knees. 'Really. What kind of strenght is that?!' Soushi thought as he shakily stood up.

Ding-Dong. Ding-Dong.

The School bell rang and all freshman gathered for the 'Welcoming Ceremony'. After that, classes went by and school ended.
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Soushi was heading towards the station when he stopped by to buy an Ice Cream. He was waiting for the Vendor to give him his Ice Cream when he saw a girl with black hair. 'Tht girl looks familiar' he thought. After thinking, Soushi thought that following her might be worth it. She rode the train and got off a station before Soushi's. 'She must be living near' Soushi thought and hid behind a post. He also noticed a few people were staring t him. 'Noo! This isn't what it looks like!' He thought.

"Kyaaa!"

Soushi turned his head towards the commotion and saw a man with the girls bag, running towards his direction.

"Help! Thief!"

It seems the robber didn't saw Soushi. So when he was near enough, Soushi stuck out his foot and the Robber tripped with a loud 'thud!' and also sends the bag flying. Soushi ran after the bag, jumped and caught it in mid-air. After some policeman took the robber away, he turned around to see the girl bowing to him. "Thank you" she said. When she raised her head, Soushi was suprised who it was.

"Nagato-san?"

"How do you know my... ah! You're the boy that saved me from the two men! umm... Kagesora?"

'So she still remembers me. Sweet!' he silently thanked the Gods "Please don't call me that. It's just too long. Just call me Soushi"

"Alright. Thank you, Souhi-kun"

Soushi felt his cheeks burn when he heard his name with the '-kun'. "Ahaha. It was nothing" He laughed.

"By the way Soushi-kun. Do you live here? I never saw you in this part of the neighborhood."

Suddenly, Soushi froze. 'Ah no! If she finds out I was following her, she might think i'm a stalker!' Random thoughts of him ending up in jail for stalking and Yuki hating him for the rest of his life ran amock inside his head.

"Ah, uh...well..."

"Soushi?"

'That voice!' Soushi thought as he twirled around and saw Karin.

"Karin?!"

"Hi Soushi! I didn't know you live in this part of the neighborhood!"

'Damn it! How come Time is against me!' "Karin! What are you doing here?"

"Why, I live in this neighborhood! I guess we're neighbors AND classmates, huh? Karin said Happily.

"No, uh. I don't live here."

"Oh. Then what are you doing here?" She gasped "Maybe you had a crush on me and you were acutally stalking me and I accidentally found you?!"

"Don't make things up!" He shouted

"Okay then, what ARE you doing here, Soushi?"

"Well... you see..." 'Oh my GOD! What if she finds out I was following Nagato-san!' He was losing hope. And when he was about to spill the beans, an unexpected hero came up.

"He was with me" Soushi looked and saw Yuki looking at her

"I was?!" He looked at her and saw Yuki wink at him. "Oh yeah! I was... uh, accompanying her!"

"Really?"

"Yes. Soushi-kun was accompanying me towards my house" Yuki said, showing formality

Soushi noticed that Karins eyebrow twitched "Oh. So you two know each other?"

"Yes, we met during the summer break" She said

After that sentence, Soushi noticed that Karin's eyebrow twitched again. "Well then! I'm gonna go home first. Nice meeting you..."

"Yuki. Nagato Yuki"

"Right. Nice meeting you, Yuki-chan!" and with that, she turned around and ran away.

'I dunno what just happened, but I think I was saved'. Soushi sighed as he sat with his back against a wall.

"Hmph"

Soushi looked up and saw Yuki bending towards him, her cheeks puffed and her eyes looking at him angrily.

Soushi blushed and turned his head, trying to avoid eye contact and hid his blush. 'Why do girls look so cute when they try to look angry' He asked himself.

"You were following me, weren't you?"

Soushi tensed up and relaxed again 'Bulls-eye'

She straightened up and with a smile and a small bow, she said "But if you weren't there, my bag would've been stolen. Thank you again, Soushi-kun. I guess this makes us even?"

"Even? I saved you twice, so that means you still owe me" he grinned

"Oh? Then I guess Kagesora-san won't mind spending a night in jail for Stalking?"

Soushis body twitched and lowered his head in defeat "Fine. You win, we're now even."

"But really, Soushi-kun. Why WERE you following me?" she gasped "Maybe you were actually Stalking me?!"

"NO! I wasn't stalking you, really!"

"Then why?" She said as she sat down in front of him.

He scratched the back of his head "I kinda forgot myself"

They both stared at each other, then Yuki laughed and, soon after, Soushi was laughing with her.

"Hahaha. You're funny, Soushi-kun"

He hid his face in his bangs while still laughing, trying to hide his cheeks. 'still not used to being called like that.' he thought.

Soushi stood up and helped Yuki up to her feet. "Well then, I better get home" Soushi said

Ah! Me too. I hope we can meet again, Soushi-kun.

"Me too, Nagato-san" and with that, they went their seperate ways.
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"Soushi"

"..."

"Soushi!"

"..."

"SOUSHI!"

"Huh? What? Where's the fire?!"

Soushi jumped from his seat and looked around quickly, trying to find something burning.

"Karin, what's wrong? What are you doing at my house?!"

"House? Wow, you must've been knocked out good. We're at school, idiot. Classes are starting."

"Whatever" He said as he lowered his head and closed his eyes. He can only hear the voices silence once the teacher has begun to speak.

"Okay class. Before we begin, we have a new student here in Tenjou Gakuen"

'Tch, who cares'

"You can enter now" Soushi heard the door slide open and a chorus of "Cute!" was heard.

'Probably another one of those stuck-up girls anyway' He took a peak to his right and saw Karin with her mouth hanging open and her eyes wide. 'What's wrong with her?' He looked towards the teacher and, suprised, jumped from his seat with his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide.

"Introduce yourself" the teacher said

"Hai" she said to the teacher and then faced the class. "Hello, my name is Nagato-Yuki. Nice to meet you all" She bowed, looked around the classroom and gasped "Karin-san! Soushi-kun! You both study here?"

Suddenly, the male population of the class had an uproar "SOUSHI-KUUUUUNN?!?!"

"What the hell Soushi?!" "You two know each other?!"

"We met during the Summer" Yuki said with a smile. The boys turned to stone and crumbled to dust, the wind blowing them away.

'Don't Nagato-san! You're making things worse!' Soushi thought, tears streaming down his face.

Suddenly, He felt the glares of all the boys in his class. Each of them silently mumbling "Damn you, Kagesora Soushi."

"I'm done for" Soushi thought as he looked at Yuki, smiling at him.

It looks like life became Dangerously Intersting for Soushi.

Chapter 2 End
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Well, that was long. I'm still working on Chapter 3. Again, please don't expect too much. The brain does all the work here^^

Edit:

I tried to find the misspellings. Turns out that most of them were at the ending. But everythings hunky dory now^^

sweet that was great it was like i was watching an anime lol but yea keep up the good work =]

well......at least you heed my advice and lose the weird japanese words (exp. 'Gomen!' i mean seriously!!!) the honorifics like -kun and -chan is ok i guess no weird effects on the story. BUT!! there are still plenty of room of improvement i listed down the two most important thing:

1)The setting......for both Yuki and Karin. their meeting with Soushi is VERY similar. In fact too similar. but since you already posted it...... :( :( i do hope you will edit it sometime soon.

2)The spelling..... yes it is a minor thing but wrong spellings might and i emphasize on the MIGHT affect the feel of the story so be sure to change that *Note* the spelling for strength is wrong and Were change it to We're i believe you forgot that and some of the words are joined together so try to be careful next time.

I'll try to tone down the 'accidental' meetings^^



Oh?! I guess it's time to pick up a dictionary and use big words! (you know that's a joke, right?)

Okay. Improve the story and my spellings. got it.^^

Not bad. Seems to be lacking substance, but I can't quite put a finger on it. (Maybe due to the story's similarity to anime, and usually most anime lack substance anyways.)

Looking forward to the next chapter.

mhm i agree with you ]:/