Kirei na Hoshizora
1
Cinia Pacifica
Ojou-sama Writer
I only read till Chapter 2 and its pretty awesome!
Very impressive way of story telling, I've learned a lot from you , thanks, +rep and putting your own name on the story was the best thing I've seen yet.
Edit:
You made a small mistake on chapter 3 I believe, its pretty much in the middle of the chapter.
Here's another one, I found it as I continued reading, everyone makes silly mistakes I guess.
Very impressive way of story telling, I've learned a lot from you , thanks, +rep and putting your own name on the story was the best thing I've seen yet.
Edit:
Mibuchiha wrote...
Sora then goes to bring all her stuff to Ryushi’s table. After she finishes she sits down she sits down and asksYou made a small mistake on chapter 3 I believe, its pretty much in the middle of the chapter.
Mibuchiha wrote...
“Is that so…” says Sora. She then lowers her head a bit, and suppressing her embarrassment, asks Ryushi “Umm, Ryushi-kun…can I ask you something? Do you play a game…called…E-eternal End 3?”Here's another one, I found it as I continued reading, everyone makes silly mistakes I guess.
0
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
Mistakes eh... that's so me. XD If it's not too much trouble, do you mind PMing me all the mistakes you found? I'm more than happy to correct them, but searching for them is hard... -__-|||
@roku and others: I will put c26 up... someday. :3
@roku and others: I will put c26 up... someday. :3
0
Cinia Pacifica
Ojou-sama Writer
mibuchiha wrote...
Mistakes eh... that's so me. XD If it's not too much trouble, do you mind PMing me all the mistakes you found? I'm more than happy to correct them, but searching for them is hard... -__-|||I'll see to it.
Sorry for bringing this thread back up again.
0
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
"DAMN YOU MIBU WHY THE FUCK YOU'RE TAKING SO DAMN LONG IT'S JUST A CHAPTERRRRRR," said a certain person. He's myself.
Anyway, in the heat of the writing contest, this little thread was buried all the way to page 4 of the already-not-popular writing section. Ouch.
For those who kept waiting for this... I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the support you give to this little series. I hope c26 answers whatever expectation you have for me.
I humbly present chapter 26 of Kirei na Hoshizora.
Anyway, in the heat of the writing contest, this little thread was buried all the way to page 4 of the already-not-popular writing section. Ouch.
For those who kept waiting for this... I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the support you give to this little series. I hope c26 answers whatever expectation you have for me.
I humbly present chapter 26 of Kirei na Hoshizora.
0
Xenon
FAKKU Writer
Wow, I would love to read this all the way through, but with 250 pages of material...Oh my god. It'll take some time. Magnificent that you got this far, mibu. I hope to have the honor of getting to it.
0
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
Thanks lot Xenon. Yeah, it's long, but I'd really love it if you read it all. Feel free to point out any errors if you noticed them. ^^
p/s: let's hope c27 will be done soon... hopefully. >.>
p/s: let's hope c27 will be done soon... hopefully. >.>
0
I can't think of who Ryushi belongs with the best.
Mind-wrecking.
Thanks a lot, Mibu! DX You're killing my brain!
Lol. I keed, I keed.
Though it's a great story, it's still hard to see who's better for him.
Mind-wrecking.
Thanks a lot, Mibu! DX You're killing my brain!
Lol. I keed, I keed.
Though it's a great story, it's still hard to see who's better for him.
0
Haha, I love how everything in the writing section has like 200 views, and this has got over 10,000.
0
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
@grover: It's been around for more than a year, so ofc it gets more views. XD
@fred: thanks. that's an honor...
@fred: thanks. that's an honor...
0
Just at March 2010 it already has 8000 views, and it's on ch 18. At the mid-2010 the writing sections seems pretty much abandoned.
Now the literature craze was gaining it's coverage again.
Good luck on surviving on this section Mibu.
I nonetheless agreed with this statement, but there's also some excellent writings that doesn't get much attention, so the aspiring writers call out on some indefinite hiatus, means abandoning their works.
Now the literature craze was gaining it's coverage again.
Good luck on surviving on this section Mibu.
This and raze's old story are the best I've ever found in this section
I nonetheless agreed with this statement, but there's also some excellent writings that doesn't get much attention, so the aspiring writers call out on some indefinite hiatus, means abandoning their works.
0
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
Ahaha, thanks high_time. I'm happy as long as there are actually people who read my work. I'm so slow, so for those that actually patiently waited I feel so thankful.
Btw have you read 26?
Btw have you read 26?
0
mibuchiha wrote...
Ahaha, thanks high_time. I'm happy as long as there are actually people who read my work. I'm so slow, so for those that actually patiently waited I feel so thankful.Btw have you read 26?
That was fast.
I'll be reading some of yours. Maybe also searching for references on some of your chapters from my upcoming story.
Plus : I noticed that you've got an excellent way of decribing the dialogues of the characters. Giving them a strong personality, so you could differentiate who's who just from their way of talking. Yeah that's something I couldn't do very well.
0
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
R-r-reference? That's an honor. XD
Ahaha, thanks for the compliment. Someone told me KnH has WAY TOO MUCH dialogues though. But I think that's why KnH is KnH... -.-
Ahaha, thanks for the compliment. Someone told me KnH has WAY TOO MUCH dialogues though. But I think that's why KnH is KnH... -.-
0
Jericho Antares
FAKKU Writer
KnH is heavy on character development and arc. I dunno who thinks that's achieved well with things that don't involve gratuitous dialogue -_-.
0
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
Found this somewhere as I lurk the net... Gotta admit, I lol'd. I never knew such an outline exists, and imo it shouldn't. People write what they want the way they want. Let the inspiration bring you wherever. XD
If the author creates compelling characters and natural dialog, he or she is 90% of the way to success. My feeling is that the way in which a writer writes is actually more important than the plot. Stephen King, who writes so well, could write a novel about a peanut butter sandwich and it would be great.
1. First, browse to Cliff Pickover's Tips for Writers
2. Second, browse to the New York Times recipe for creating an instant bestseller.
3. Third, browse to the Lester Dent magical recipe for creating a best seller.
4. My additional advice:
----- 1. Buy a National Geographic magazine. Page through it and select a setting. Look at the photos to help you create vivid descriptions.
----- 2. Your novel should have two main characters C1 and C2 (a man and a woman) and two secondary characters C3 and C4 (also a man and a woman). C1 should fall in love with C2 during the course of the book, or, if already in love, their love should deepen. A subliminal attraction should also exist between C1 and C4 to increase tension. Character C1 should have a special skill that will help him (or her) solve problems presented in the book.
----- 3. At some point in the book, C1 and C2 should show a physical expression of their attraction, such as exhibited by holding hands or kissing.
----- 4. A dangerous condition should exist throughout much of the book.
----- 5. The dangerous condition should appear to be mitigated at some point in the book but come back to haunt the characters.
----- 6. Avoid any long descriptions that slow down the pace. Practice keeping the pace of your novel brisk by allowing no paragraph to be more than five sentences. (You can relax this prohibition later in a few places if you find it absolutely necessary.)
----- 7. Start your book with something that grabs the reader's attention. Make your first sentence shine.
----- 8. Don't use flashbacks. They break the flow of the book.
----- 9. Never submit a work without having several people proofread it first.
Supposedly the best way to create an awesome fic wrote...
If the author creates compelling characters and natural dialog, he or she is 90% of the way to success. My feeling is that the way in which a writer writes is actually more important than the plot. Stephen King, who writes so well, could write a novel about a peanut butter sandwich and it would be great.
1. First, browse to Cliff Pickover's Tips for Writers
2. Second, browse to the New York Times recipe for creating an instant bestseller.
3. Third, browse to the Lester Dent magical recipe for creating a best seller.
4. My additional advice:
----- 1. Buy a National Geographic magazine. Page through it and select a setting. Look at the photos to help you create vivid descriptions.
----- 2. Your novel should have two main characters C1 and C2 (a man and a woman) and two secondary characters C3 and C4 (also a man and a woman). C1 should fall in love with C2 during the course of the book, or, if already in love, their love should deepen. A subliminal attraction should also exist between C1 and C4 to increase tension. Character C1 should have a special skill that will help him (or her) solve problems presented in the book.
----- 3. At some point in the book, C1 and C2 should show a physical expression of their attraction, such as exhibited by holding hands or kissing.
----- 4. A dangerous condition should exist throughout much of the book.
----- 5. The dangerous condition should appear to be mitigated at some point in the book but come back to haunt the characters.
----- 6. Avoid any long descriptions that slow down the pace. Practice keeping the pace of your novel brisk by allowing no paragraph to be more than five sentences. (You can relax this prohibition later in a few places if you find it absolutely necessary.)
----- 7. Start your book with something that grabs the reader's attention. Make your first sentence shine.
----- 8. Don't use flashbacks. They break the flow of the book.
----- 9. Never submit a work without having several people proofread it first.
0
Cinia Pacifica
Ojou-sama Writer
mibuchiha wrote...
Found this somewhere as I lurk the net... Gotta admit, I lol'd. I never knew such an outline exists, and imo it shouldn't. People write what they want the way they want. Let the inspiration bring you wherever. XDSupposedly the best way to create an awesome fic wrote...
If the author creates compelling characters and natural dialog, he or she is 90% of the way to success. My feeling is that the way in which a writer writes is actually more important than the plot. Stephen King, who writes so well, could write a novel about a peanut butter sandwich and it would be great.
1. First, browse to Cliff Pickover's Tips for Writers
2. Second, browse to the New York Times recipe for creating an instant bestseller.
3. Third, browse to the Lester Dent magical recipe for creating a best seller.
4. My additional advice:
1. Buy a National Geographic magazine. Page through it and select a setting. Look at the photos to help you create vivid descriptions.
2. Your novel should have two main characters C1 and C2 (a man and a woman) and two secondary characters C3 and C4 (also a man and a woman). C1 should fall in love with C2 during the course of the book, or, if already in love, their love should deepen. A subliminal attraction should also exist between C1 and C4 to increase tension. Character C1 should have a special skill that will help him (or her) solve problems presented in the book.
3. At some point in the book, C1 and C2 should show a physical expression of their attraction, such as exhibited by holding hands or kissing.
4. A dangerous condition should exist throughout much of the book.
5. The dangerous condition should appear to be mitigated at some point in the book but come back to haunt the characters.
6. Avoid any long descriptions that slow down the pace. Practice keeping the pace of your novel brisk by allowing no paragraph to be more than five sentences. (You can relax this prohibition later in a few places if you find it absolutely necessary.)
7. Start your book with something that grabs the reader's attention. Make your first sentence shine.
8. Don't use flashbacks. They break the flow of the book.
9. Never submit a work without having several people proofread it first.
I'll give that a shot sometime soon.
0
Jericho Antares
FAKKU Writer
mibuchiha wrote...
Found this somewhere as I lurk the net... Gotta admit, I lol'd. I never knew such an outline exists, and imo it shouldn't. People write what they want the way they want. Let the inspiration bring you wherever. XDSupposedly the best way to create an awesome fic wrote...
If the author creates compelling characters and natural dialog, he or she is 90% of the way to success. My feeling is that the way in which a writer writes is actually more important than the plot. Stephen King, who writes so well, could write a novel about a peanut butter sandwich and it would be great.
1. First, browse to Cliff Pickover's Tips for Writers
2. Second, browse to the New York Times recipe for creating an instant bestseller.
3. Third, browse to the Lester Dent magical recipe for creating a best seller.
4. My additional advice:
1. Buy a National Geographic magazine. Page through it and select a setting. Look at the photos to help you create vivid descriptions.
2. Your novel should have two main characters C1 and C2 (a man and a woman) and two secondary characters C3 and C4 (also a man and a woman). C1 should fall in love with C2 during the course of the book, or, if already in love, their love should deepen. A subliminal attraction should also exist between C1 and C4 to increase tension. Character C1 should have a special skill that will help him (or her) solve problems presented in the book.
3. At some point in the book, C1 and C2 should show a physical expression of their attraction, such as exhibited by holding hands or kissing.
4. A dangerous condition should exist throughout much of the book.
5. The dangerous condition should appear to be mitigated at some point in the book but come back to haunt the characters.
6. Avoid any long descriptions that slow down the pace. Practice keeping the pace of your novel brisk by allowing no paragraph to be more than five sentences. (You can relax this prohibition later in a few places if you find it absolutely necessary.)
7. Start your book with something that grabs the reader's attention. Make your first sentence shine.
8. Don't use flashbacks. They break the flow of the book.
9. Never submit a work without having several people proofread it first.
The first three are fine. Reading tips never hurts. The person's personal notes force me to label them an idiot, however, as I could tell you half of them don't work and I've only been published once (albeit in a school literary zine).
1. National Geographic is a nature publication. Rare is it that a novel will take place completely in a place so devoid of civilization. If anything research architecture for the area and time-period you wish to use.
2. Love triangles aren't always good, and mostly are done badly. A love triangle's success is heavily dependent on the genre. The protagonist (C1) also doesn't need a special skill and I would in fact advise against it. One talent should not and would not be applicable to the array of problems a book SHOULD have.
3. No problems here. In fact if the author used a love triangle then of course physical manifestations of their emotional connection should come out.
4. Again this is heavily genre based. A pure romance shouldn't have a dangerous condition and action should. KnH for example would be stupid to have an overarching threat of death for all the characters. One character in a romance having a deadly illness works, but not all characters must be threatened by it (though the sick student cliche is rather contrived).
5. No problems here, either. False sanctuary is a component that will often naturally occur even if the author weren't following these tips.
6. Heavy description coincides with a person or object worth taking such effort to describe. A good writer can keep a satisfying pace while still being descriptive.
7. NO FRIGGIN DUH
8. Flashbacks are actually the best way to provide characterization without advancing the plot. Stephen King (who is lauded by the creator of this list) personally recommends it in his own book on the subject of writing.
9. Again, this should be obvious. A writer shouldn't read their own work profusely, as each red-through heightens the chance of them scrapping the work. Every long-term piece needs proof-readers.