[Winter Contest Entry 2013] Blood and Absinthe
1
Cinia Pacifica
Ojou-sama Writer
The word limit is a challenge. It doesn't mean that you should deduct what you shouldn't.
It means that you have to include every bit of necessary details while keeping the limit in mind. The author should try to be brief, but not so much that it ruins the story. He couldn't add details which would flesh out the incident more that the story features? Well, yeah, that's the weakness of this entry.
This is a pretty good example of an entry that is good yet far from perfection.
Either way; it was a good read.
It means that you have to include every bit of necessary details while keeping the limit in mind. The author should try to be brief, but not so much that it ruins the story. He couldn't add details which would flesh out the incident more that the story features? Well, yeah, that's the weakness of this entry.
This is a pretty good example of an entry that is good yet far from perfection.
Either way; it was a good read.
0
Boner confirmed.
Kissing scenes are by far my favorite in any smut. It's just delicious.
It was a very good half-lemon half-first person story. When you mentioned vampire I was dissilutioned. When the hunter explained that they're merely walking corpses made the story surpass a common vampire movie. It wiped the floor with the cliché.
Good comedy there.
Also, like Kuro said, a loli vampire in the next one would be a good read.
I remember you as the author of the siblings with meatballs incest lemon of last year. Found it in high's reccomendations a month ago. Meatball sex was hilarious, just wanted to say it. XD
The moment I opened my mouth, she stuck her tongue inside
Kissing scenes are by far my favorite in any smut. It's just delicious.
It was a very good half-lemon half-first person story. When you mentioned vampire I was dissilutioned. When the hunter explained that they're merely walking corpses made the story surpass a common vampire movie. It wiped the floor with the cliché.
I felt invincible. Like a goddamn rockstar, walking the halls practically naked, covered in vampjre gore.
The moment I got out of the hotel I regretted my decision. It was cold as a motherfucker.
The moment I got out of the hotel I regretted my decision. It was cold as a motherfucker.
Good comedy there.
Also, like Kuro said, a loli vampire in the next one would be a good read.
I remember you as the author of the siblings with meatballs incest lemon of last year. Found it in high's reccomendations a month ago. Meatball sex was hilarious, just wanted to say it. XD
2
xninebreaker
FAKKU Writer
Goddamn it El Chacel, you deliver yet again. I can honestly say that I've enjoyed your writing ever since that summer entry, and I've yet to be disappointed! Something about your writing is incredibly engaging. It pulls me in and forces me to read every line with anticipation. Maybe it's because I've not been exposed to this 'Noire style' that people seem to be familiar with, but all I know is that I'm thoroughly enjoying it.
I don't have much to add in terms of criticism. Some people are saying that the background is a bit much, but I disagree. You only spend a small section on the vampire's relations which are pertinent to why he is trying so hard (or at all) to nab a kill on her. Had you left it out, I would expect comments asking for more back story and why he cares about such a dangerous kill in the first place.
I dunno man, if I had to be a prick and choose something to question it would probably be her icepick. Feels pretty random. The actual location was never described and I would've liked to know why an icepick was laying around. Saying they are close to a mountain or something would've sufficed for me.
Anyways, glad you entered, I always enjoy reading your work. It's horrible (And then people are suggesting psycho loli vampires?! Oh god), but it's so engaging!
I don't have much to add in terms of criticism. Some people are saying that the background is a bit much, but I disagree. You only spend a small section on the vampire's relations which are pertinent to why he is trying so hard (or at all) to nab a kill on her. Had you left it out, I would expect comments asking for more back story and why he cares about such a dangerous kill in the first place.
I dunno man, if I had to be a prick and choose something to question it would probably be her icepick. Feels pretty random. The actual location was never described and I would've liked to know why an icepick was laying around. Saying they are close to a mountain or something would've sufficed for me.
Anyways, glad you entered, I always enjoy reading your work. It's horrible (And then people are suggesting psycho loli vampires?! Oh god), but it's so engaging!
