Rise-chan wrote...
Anyone up for reviewing this one?
https://www.fakku.net/viewtopic.php?t=62137#2856209
Don't mind the grammar though, I'm being terribly lazy, and MS word ruined the it. And got RPs to work on, so yeah.
my amateur-ish crtique....
(actually, it reminded me of Hayate, the combat butler.), I would suggest, since the mistress is finding the ideal butler, that you use a first person point of view.
So that we could understand more and feel more the emotion and the need of the main character.
.
Though, I enjoyed reading it.