FAKKU Writers' Lounge

"Another incident happened on the following day, near the same location. I went to the Starbucks at

the Camino Real Marketplace by myself, like I usually did every morning. I ordered my coffee and sat down on one of their chairs to relax. A few moments later, when I looked up from my drink, I saw a young couple standing in line. The two of them were kissing passionately. The boy looked like an obnoxious punk; he was tall and wore baggy pants. The girl was a pretty blonde! They looked like they were in the throes of passionate sexual attraction to each other, rubbing their bodies together and tongue kissing in front of everyone. I was absolutely livid with envious hatred. When they left the store I followed them to their car and splashed my coffee all over them. The boy yelled at me and I quickly ran away in fear. I was panicking as I got into my car and drove off, shaking with rage-fueled excitement. I drove all the way to the Vons at the Fairview Plaza and spent three hours in my car trying to contain my tumultuous emotions. I had never struck back at my enemies before, and I felt a small sense of spiteful gratification for doing so. I hated them so much. Even though I splashed them with my coffee, he was still the winner. He was going home to have passionate heavenly sex with his beautiful girlfriend, and I was going home to my lonely room to sleep alone in my lonely bed"

I've heard a lot of stories from my cousins. About their own struggles to make the ends meet while on their jobs. About how stressful they are, being so copped-up with work. Even during the vacation, they kept making phone calls, some of them also have multiple phones. I remember, during the time I was on hospital due to typhoid, my mom kept several phones on the bedside desk. She was mostly on phone, seems really busy and people won't stop bothering her.

The various things I heard and seen caused me horrors. It seems people worked extremely hard, to the point of squeezing their lives out. Doing things they disliked, and being with people they hated : hostile co-workers, traitorous underlings, and most likely, asshole superiors.

I'd rather starve to death and kill myself, than being with the company of such unpleasant people, but then, it's quite a mandatory for an adult to earn his own keep - being forced if must - under such cruel servility - how come no one just accept their fate and do nothing to better their lives? Why can't we just live in peace and do things we like?

That was when the law of survival comes to play. Those who don't work, don't eat. There are various people with talents, some who are able to do things without hard work - or that's just what we've witnessed one-sidedly. I want to be like them, doing things with the least amount of work, so I can just rest easy and enjoy life. If I have to find a job, I want it to match with my preferences.

At the beginning, I thought, I have to learn things to gain an edge so I can get things I want easily, but the thing is - many stuff seems so complicated, and no matter how I tried, I can't seem to understand it. Seems like, people are trying to adverse my strive for learning by sticking to things that couldn't click with me. To top it off, I can easily forget what I've learned not that long ago.

Eventually came a point where learning things had become such a pain. Feels like, I'd just better of doing nothing. I figured, if there's a way to make learning so easy and fruitful, I can start to hope. Otherwise, I'd just be waiting for my death. I'm sick and tired of fighting and striving. In the end I realized, that I can naturally learn something when it's told based upon my perspective.

For an example, when I'm writing this essay in my view of preference. I learn it much quickly and easily, rather than reading the similarly-themed essays that's written in a way I'm not really fond with, even if the contains are meaty. Simply put, doing things my way. That doesn't mean it will always succeed, but it was least likely when I don't like how I do things.

Still, in the end, it's all about achieving my desired results. So in the long term, I want to learn to cultivate flexibility in the very least. I want to think that I've got my planned future ahead, but it's not a guarantee. Truthfully, I'm happy enough to live my best like I'll die tomorrow because thinking that I'll just live for another day is a pain in the ass.

So I'll keep in mind that each of my writings will probably be my last, and before I actually died, I wanna say goodbye. Goodbye.