The Hospital

We don't need no education.

The owner should come by tomorrow, wait for it.

Wha? If this position isn't available can i be a mortician, I'm in need of some bodies. If I can't become any of these two, then I'm fine with whatever, I need to feed my family of waifu's back in Alaska.

Native Alaskan waifus? You sir, are a lucky bastard. You'll be assigned Mortician and work with Revelation building some Frankensteins for the heck of it.

*finishes filing the previous contracts*

This has been a long day.

You guys need a Virologist or a Head of Virology.

You're hired without even looking at your resume. You seem most dependable. I read up your posts on your old account problem at IB. What was the username and about when'll you get it back?

Also, this patient needs a diagnosis.

Id say tertiary syphilis due to age but also the damage it causes the brain, possible also schizophranic so Id turf her to the psychward and also take her blood to the hematopathologist. but she's probably poor so stabilize and turf her.



Longevity was my username and when I get it back is solely dependent on when an Admin gets off their ass.

Welcome! According to the description of this thread, I am the psychiatrist psychologist of this establishment who uses bold red font with the intention to stand out from the others only to end up making a big fool out of myself.

*Reads patient's problems. Attempts to process this information. Bone in the brain stops the processing this information resulting in a nonsense diagnosis.*

The problems you have described are very, very grave. Normally, bacterial disinfection and months long mental therapy would be in order. But since I know nothing about hematopathology, I am going to shove her packets of L-267 antidepressants instead like the typical NHS General Practitioner. Antidepressants solve everything, you know.

Both jobs? Well I guess they're covered if there's ever an outbreak Bleeding Pink-Eye!

I thought you was surgeon.



Gimme a prescription of 'em L-267's sometime.



I overheard some old post of his saying he wants to fuck eye sockets, so that why he be in.

It might boost malpractice insurance costs, but if you're cool with that . . . *shrugs*

Well, here's blood and semen in your eye!

Pfft, the jewish insurance will pay it for us.

Plus we can also put our ovens not just for cremations and destroying evidence, but for apology cakes as well.

It might spawn a new sphere of medical research: Optic Gynocology. Speaking of which, seeing as this is a hentai site I'm surprised no one has opted for a spot as resident gynocologist.

Whoever tried gynocologist, would only have the image of a fat woman with an un-shaved cunt and anus burned in the back of their head. Trust me on this one, I wouldn't recommend that job to anyone, even those I despise.

I see your point. The only thing worse would probably be Forensic Proctologist.

There can be so much butthurt and faggots at any given time that a one would get rich in a short period of time, probably even retire early. Still, they'd have to help the patient and cure their wrecked ass, so it'd be somewhat...

Ayn ai tot ai woz orn drugz.

Well, I am in supposedly in charge of this asylum hospital anyway. This means I can usurp any position in the hospital when I feel like it, especially when I am on a L-267 antidepressant.

I have to tell you the truth that I might be mentally ill. Why do I make a habit of typing words into some "chatroom" depicting some action, like *Passing you a L-267 antidepressant*?

Don't I realise that this does not affect anything in the slightest? I am still unemployed, unhappy, unmarried and uncared for. I am still sitting behind a computer wasting my life away.

Excuse me, I am about to have a mental breakdown.
*Grabs some L-267 antidepressants but since these are just words on the screen, there can't be anything happening! There just can't!*

Blunt force trauma induced by a brick is best anesthesia.

*hugs surgeon*

Everything will be ok.



You want them alive if you want to perform any surgery, not in coma, unless you want to fuck them, that is.