About to commit a crime...
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Jonoe wrote...
Stick a condom alittle bit of lighter fluid, on the back of the tailpipeThat'll work. ^_^
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Well to anyone who cares I tried a couple hours ago. Less than fruitful. I got to his property all-right.
It was a very disgusting swim and I almost vommited in the water (Muckier than it seems from above with shit in there I think). I cut my arm trying to get out of the water, I nearly shit myself since I climbed up the very small hill to get up (Like a foot coming out of the water) and I slipped cut my arm on something and made a huge splash. I just stayed in the water for a while till I thought I felt something on my arm.
I get up, I'm crouching like a ninja thinking of how badass I am (Sad I know) I reach the cage (I couldn't bring myself to poison the bird I had decided just to open the cage and hope it left on its own accord instead of all my previous plans) I'm having trouble finding how to open it and the damn thing yells right in my face. Finding out just how nervous I was at that time I fall over (Cage still closed but I rattled it so now the things fucking howling) from it, stumble and trip fall and land in the water. I'm in so much pain I just drag myself to HIS PROPERTY and just lie there.
I tell you know as a very proud man I pissed myself. I hear a door open and footsteps. Turns out it was coming from another house but so damn close I pissed myself with fright. Man says something like "Musta been a big fish" to someone and I am fucking freaking out on the ground. After like five minutes I get up I decide I can't swim back cause my leg is hurtin to much. I don't give a fuck about the bird anymore I walk past it and go up his little step thingys and just walk away.
After I'm a good distance away I just go to a random house (three) and ask the people there if I could just chill. A very nice lady with an even nicer dog finally let me stay. Dogs name as something crazy like Yucatan (Sounded asian). She offered me her husbands dry clothes I turned them down. I was real stupid and I feel awful but she lets me in all worried like and I ask if I can sit on her couch and she goes to get a towel for me to sit on but I'm to tired to hink and I just lie down on her couch, drenched >< I felt so stupid and awful coudln't stop appoligieszing (fuck my spelling) We talked I told her I was biking and I lost my footing and fell in the lake. Nice women. I had called a friend to pick me up since I didn't want to ask this women for anything else (oddly enough I never asked for her name. just her dog xD) and yeah still haven't told anyone but fakku what actually happened.
Oh yeah I also fucked the women. It was crazy hentai-storyline action. "My husbands out make yourself at home. Can I please you?" yup. hentai-action
It was a very disgusting swim and I almost vommited in the water (Muckier than it seems from above with shit in there I think). I cut my arm trying to get out of the water, I nearly shit myself since I climbed up the very small hill to get up (Like a foot coming out of the water) and I slipped cut my arm on something and made a huge splash. I just stayed in the water for a while till I thought I felt something on my arm.
I get up, I'm crouching like a ninja thinking of how badass I am (Sad I know) I reach the cage (I couldn't bring myself to poison the bird I had decided just to open the cage and hope it left on its own accord instead of all my previous plans) I'm having trouble finding how to open it and the damn thing yells right in my face. Finding out just how nervous I was at that time I fall over (Cage still closed but I rattled it so now the things fucking howling) from it, stumble and trip fall and land in the water. I'm in so much pain I just drag myself to HIS PROPERTY and just lie there.
I tell you know as a very proud man I pissed myself. I hear a door open and footsteps. Turns out it was coming from another house but so damn close I pissed myself with fright. Man says something like "Musta been a big fish" to someone and I am fucking freaking out on the ground. After like five minutes I get up I decide I can't swim back cause my leg is hurtin to much. I don't give a fuck about the bird anymore I walk past it and go up his little step thingys and just walk away.
After I'm a good distance away I just go to a random house (three) and ask the people there if I could just chill. A very nice lady with an even nicer dog finally let me stay. Dogs name as something crazy like Yucatan (Sounded asian). She offered me her husbands dry clothes I turned them down. I was real stupid and I feel awful but she lets me in all worried like and I ask if I can sit on her couch and she goes to get a towel for me to sit on but I'm to tired to hink and I just lie down on her couch, drenched >< I felt so stupid and awful coudln't stop appoligieszing (fuck my spelling) We talked I told her I was biking and I lost my footing and fell in the lake. Nice women. I had called a friend to pick me up since I didn't want to ask this women for anything else (oddly enough I never asked for her name. just her dog xD) and yeah still haven't told anyone but fakku what actually happened.
Oh yeah I also fucked the women. It was crazy hentai-storyline action. "My husbands out make yourself at home. Can I please you?" yup. hentai-action
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Tsurayu wrote...
Wow, all that trouble for nothing. Damn. At least it makes for a great story.Someday he'll use it to lecture his future children. Or impress the ladies, if he makes a "few" changes.
Edit: +repped because even though you failed hard, you still had the balls to post the full account.
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Tsurayu wrote...
Wow, all that trouble for nothing. Damn. At least it makes for a great story.WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, HE GOT SOME MAD PUSSY
Harmonian wrote...
Oh yeah I also fucked the women. It was crazy hentai-storyline action. "My husbands out make yourself at home. Can I please you?" yup. hentai-action
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Xil
Norse God of Sawdust
lol was going to say, should have just poisoned the bird.
Simple. Clean. No one knows. No one can trace.
Heh, I think your method makes for a muuuuuch better story, though.
Is the bird still making noise?
Simple. Clean. No one knows. No one can trace.
Heh, I think your method makes for a muuuuuch better story, though.
Is the bird still making noise?
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Xil wrote...
Is the bird still making noise?Well I doubt it would stop just because I got close to it. Its a bird it'll forget the whole ordeal by... fifteen seconds after it. Its raining hard so it wasn't outside today. So yeah I'm assuming (It will I'm a hundred percent sure) it will still make noise.
It seems he has no suspicion as well. No cops have come by my home :)
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If you really wanted the damn thing dead after all that trouble, you should've thrown the cage into the lake.
... Also, you should've tried to get some pussy. As you were leaving, you could've said something epic like, "it won't make sense if I don't cum before I go," and snatch her panties off with a flick of the wrist. Then... sunglasses, obviously.
... Also, you should've tried to get some pussy. As you were leaving, you could've said something epic like, "it won't make sense if I don't cum before I go," and snatch her panties off with a flick of the wrist. Then... sunglasses, obviously.
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Xil
Norse God of Sawdust
lol sorry man, was just teasing you.
I am happy you did not hurt yourself too bad... or that there were leaches in that lake...
Don't feel down, though. You tried, which is more than expected.
Still, I think poisoning it's food would be best. Give it one last meal, better than starving in the woods. Can't argue with that, animal lovers!!
I am happy you did not hurt yourself too bad... or that there were leaches in that lake...
Don't feel down, though. You tried, which is more than expected.
Still, I think poisoning it's food would be best. Give it one last meal, better than starving in the woods. Can't argue with that, animal lovers!!
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Wow, this is quite the story you've got going.
I understand the annoyance of having that bird around, but I can say Im glad you didn't kill it. Im probably just a wimp but I dont like the whole concept of "If you dont like it, kill it". Its that kind of philosophy that makes this world a shittier place to live.
still, thou, the bird problem continues... I dont think you realize this, but if you let it fly away, its going to die. Its a domestic bird thats not in its natural environment, its not used to hunting for its own food, and I doubt there's anything it could safely eat where you are in the first place, so really, all the options so far have been pretty fatal to the bird.
Well, what I would do is ask your neighbors. You say they dont complain about it? Maybe they thought of a solution that works well against blocking the noise, and they will give you advice. Or, if thats not the case, you can simply start a petition. If everyone nearby has a problem with it and the owner CONTINUES to be an asshole, then have the whole community go to the police. They tend to do more if its more than one person's problem.
Thats just my pacifist ideological thinking, though.
Thanks!
I understand the annoyance of having that bird around, but I can say Im glad you didn't kill it. Im probably just a wimp but I dont like the whole concept of "If you dont like it, kill it". Its that kind of philosophy that makes this world a shittier place to live.
still, thou, the bird problem continues... I dont think you realize this, but if you let it fly away, its going to die. Its a domestic bird thats not in its natural environment, its not used to hunting for its own food, and I doubt there's anything it could safely eat where you are in the first place, so really, all the options so far have been pretty fatal to the bird.
Well, what I would do is ask your neighbors. You say they dont complain about it? Maybe they thought of a solution that works well against blocking the noise, and they will give you advice. Or, if thats not the case, you can simply start a petition. If everyone nearby has a problem with it and the owner CONTINUES to be an asshole, then have the whole community go to the police. They tend to do more if its more than one person's problem.
Thats just my pacifist ideological thinking, though.
Thanks!
