long distance relationships

Yes, elfen. I totally understand what you mean, sweets. It boils down to faith. Faith in the believe that you will love, cherish and honour your beloved. Like I've said before... age, time and distance/space mean little in matters of the heart if you devote yourself to it.

What?

I'm not very fond of long distance relationships. It's not that I don't have faith in them - but I've had one or two in the past that of course, didn't work out.

The fact that you don't have physical contact means you have to heighten other qualities to make up for the lack of physical contact.

I hardly find physical contact a vital necessity - perhaps to some, but I wouldn't consider that a healthy relationship. Due to if you go through a good dry spell (not due to anyone, just situations like not having enough time to spend with each other due to work, school, family etc) and you can't function - what's the relationship there for?

The only two other things you have that are vital to a relationship is trust and communication (in a long distance perspective)

You can't expect to last in the long distant relationship if your communication lacks. Hell a relationship in person won't last if communication is bad.
You have to be able to talk about anything even if it makes you uncomfortable. The better you are with communication, the better you'll get at problem solving, and you'll be able to work out difficult situations versus getting worked up by them and resulting to an ended relationship.

Coming to terms that you can talk to each other about anything including things they do that you don't like or are confused about - and knowing they can maturely accept it will make the relationship last much longer.

That ties in with trust of course.

So, yes - I do believe long distant relationships work, however I think there's a lot of communication required and two very mature and devoted people.

hmmm imagine life as a manga character.. one like a promise that they will love each other until one gets back from half way around the world and they end up marrying.. happy endding.. too bad its all juz fairytales
well personally i want it to work.. cuz right now struggling to maintain wat i already have.. one vital problem with long distance is perhaps not being able to see the person.. webcam doesnt count..
wat if someone likes u, u like them, but she says that it wont work if they cant see each other??

Those are important, but physical contact is important. Nudity and intimacy creates an idea of closeness and.. whell intimacy. This creates a comfortable atmosphere and a scene of trust between two people.

Thus it become incredibly easy to say things that would be near impossible to say to anyone else.

It takes both a physical connection and an emotional connection to make a good relationship. If you lack an emotional side, the relationship will become stale, and cheating will ensue. If it lacks a physical connection, tension will build and arguments will happen.

A good relationship takes balance. Now a long distance relationship CAN work. But only if the two people actually.. you know... SEE EACHOTHER.

That is why my relationship failed. 4 years, and only 3 days of physical contact.

I met her in person about five years ago, seen her at least for awhile every summer since then. It was never that serious until last year though, at least for her. But it is now. We managed two visits so far this year, one in the summer for five weeks, in which we got a lot closer >_> Gonna be seeing her again this christmas.

I think we have what it takes.

That sounds pretty harsh for you though man, sorry it didn't work out.

Does it work? The answer depends. Others may trick you online if you never really met them. I have dated a girl online. She came to my school a a year later from Taiwan. The results are awesome. Long distance relationships can work only good to those who are smart and lucky enough. It can be tiresome and very bothersome. You may even grow further away by heart. Consider it like a test to see how much you love that one person. If you love her/him enough, love will work it's way and bring you both closer together.

It doesn't matter whether you're far away or not. What matters most is the love you both share. A lot of people laugh at others 'cause they have distant lovers, but don't listen to them. For they cannot feel your feelings. To me, long-distance relationship is merely a test of love.

was in one for 3 years, it was kewl.....then she just tolly never got online and deleted herself from my life....and broke me heart T-T....but im fine now :D

No, I think it just adds stress. Plus you never know who they might have there and if they're lying. I think it's better to not bother with it unless you are within 2 or so hours of eachother.

simply doesnt work unless you are 200% loyal to your partner

^This. I'll share a few tales:

I had a girlfriend about 1 state away who I was totally in love with, but then I found out she went to a very crowded college. Put yourself in my shoes, if you're not sure:

Your beautiful, busty, redheaded girlfriend is going to a school most likely filled with perverts. You want to trust HER, you really do, you just don't trust everyone else.

THAT PUTS A LOT OF UN-NEEDED STRESS IN YOUR LIFE.

She later left me after ignoring me for months on end, saying she "doesn't know what love is." I think I'd take her back, but I know I'll most likely never get that option. She was a state away, but quite a few hours to get to her. I couldn't drive at the time, and couldn't find a ride. Doesn't matter now.

And since I'm sharing: The 1st girl I was sure I loved.

Back in .. I think '04 or '05, I honestly forget, I met this girl on Yahoo through a .hack// chat room. We started as friends, and it moved forward. It might've moved forward a little fast, but neither of us cared.

I was 100% Head-over-heels for this girl. I'd take a bullet for her, I'll give her everything I owned if she needed it. I was absolutely in love.

It seemed like she returned my feelings. Every weekend she would call me, and every night we'd talk online. It was complete heaven ..

Until she wasn't online that much, and she started sounding depressed during her calls. I kept trying to ignore it, thinking it was just a mood, but I knew what was coming. It was about a month before our one year aniversary:

"I'm sorry, Joey. I just can't do this, I hate the distance. You're just too far, and I need someone here."

It didn't take her long to find someone who lived even further away from her than I did. She said a while back that she questions why she dumped me, but she's been with this lucky fucker for a good few years now, so I had to FORCE thoughts of her from my mind, delete her from messengers, and just try to ignore it all. But as they say, you never forget your first love: The memories haunt me from time to time.

This girl broke my heart. The girl I first mentioned was supposed to be my bandage to repair my broken heart. Call it cheesy, whatever.

Bottom line: I don't care how 'happy' you both are, or how 'loyal' you are to each other. You're lying to yourselves. He/She will find someone local and dump your ass like yesterday's trash. You're just delaying it.

Call me negative, or just pissed off from 2 broken hearts: You know deep, deep down that I'm right. Enjoy what you have now, because you won't have it much longer.

i have a girlfriend in my past that nearly destroying my entire life (or should i say i've destroyed) just because we're having long distance love.

we've know each other for 1 year. then one day,she said that she will go with her father to other town. i accept her request,believing that she'll kept our love together.

two weeks after,she still phoned me at night. i'm happy that she still keeps communicating with me. one month has passed. she never phoned me nor asking my condition. curious about what happened,i phoned her.. and guess what? the person who recieved my call isnt my girlfriend,but an unknown guy who tells me that he's her boyfriend.

knowing that she's having affair with another guy,i reject the call,sit down,and started to laugh at my own decision. i never realize that long distance could ended like this.

so,the answer is no. there's a reason for your loved one to move,whether because she's bored of you,or she's having a secret affair with another guy.

if your loves one wants to move abroad,end your relationship at that time and seek a new girlfriend/boyfriend. there are lots of people you can do relationship with. dont get poisoned with "love". when love feels good,it feels so good. when love feels bad,it will kill you.

Kind of like what I said.

well,you're lucky because it didnt destroy your life. as for me,i would consider my self a dead man. i lost my passions for real girls,and i ended up being an active user in FAKKU. i'm happy though,because that makes me never thinking about real girls,marriage,and child. stuff like that just makes me bored.

if it's heart that broken,then the pieces can be reunited back.

if it's life that broken,then you're dead (in my situation)