I found out the hard way that my farts were lethal today.
I felt bloated and full of wind. I needed to let one rip so I let off a small silent fart as I was doing various tasks in the charity shop; enough to feel a little more comfortable but not enough to make noise. About a minute later my till buddy says she smells something horrible and gagged to the point of almost vomiting. The doors were opened and we sprayed the shop with room freshener.
At the time I hadn't realised it was me and we all assumed it was a customer and nothing more was said. But when I got home I had a dump because I was still bloated, and as soon as I got up, very same smell; it was like rotten eggs got mixed in with manure and stomach acid. So it turns out the horrible smell was produced by me.
Something I ate yesterday while I was out evidently didn't agree with me. Fuck me.