Striking Up a Conversation with Strangers

If you approach someone with confidence a an a welcoming demeanor, you'd be suprised how open people are. You just have to open with something universally funny, or a joke about the situation you are sharing (like a joke about something related to the bus or train your both riding on).

True story: I got on a bus and saw alot of taken seats, but there was a really attractive girl looking at her mini laptop. So I go and set next to her and say, "hey, this seat taken?", "I guess not...", "I notice your laptop is about the size of my cell phone"
"Yeah it's pretty small I guess..." So at this point I kinda get the feeling she doesnt want to talk, so I go for broke and just say things that alot of people would feel to embrassed to say to a stranger, or they may think I'm being a jerk by teasing her.
So anyways, I stare at her for a couple seconds...
...
...
"You're not like a russian hacker or something right? The FBI isn't going to bust in here and arrest you and destroy you little super computer right?"
This gets a smile, mostly cause it is such a stupid thing to say but, it BREAKS THE ICE.
So I stick with it, and the next 15 mins, I talk to her as if it is assumed that she is some crazy hacker spy from another country. I tease her that she doesn't sound russian, unless russians come from boston (she had a boston accent), and how if she is a spy can she take me with her back to russia cause I always wanted to see moscow in the fall. Needless to say, she laughed, I had fun, and I got her email. If I wanted, I probably could of emailed her and asked her out. And even though she didn't LOOK like we'd have anything in common, we actually did.

Yeah girls like funny guys but gotta be careful some might be uptight and take it the wrong way but thats good how u broke the ice, thats usually the thing that makes or breaks a good convo and yeah when u think someone might not have the same interests as u they can pull something out from their sleeves

Well this girl was uptight, and if they take it the wrong way I look at them seriously and say "it was a JOKE!". I'd say that 90% of girls aren't going to at like bitches if you say that.
But now that I think about it, I don't really know how to start a conversation with guys, maybe that's why most of my friends are females...

well I am some what shy but if I find someone has something in commen with me I'll try to get to know them better (one of the reasons why I am here at fakku)
so what the hell I would go for it. Not like I would ever see that person again anyway. so why not.

Being funny is good and all, but it doesn't work with everyone, and you better be actually funny.
Few things more annoying than some "funny" asshole who won't give up on his "funny" routine even though it's been made clear to them - if need be by an entire room full of people - that they're not being funny.
I know being "funny", cocky or swaggering doesn't work with me at all. It'll earn them a snide remark at best, or if they are annoying enough, I won't hesitate to take the piss out of them, especially when these "funny" people interrupt me at work with some lame shit.

I don't have a problem striking up conversations with strangers though. On occasions where I actually want to (parties, vernissages, yadda dadda), I do it all the time, because those are occasions made for meeting new people, and the chances of meeting someone who's not a total idiot are relatively high, because all attendees have been pre-selected by our social group.

However, I'm also very arrogant. I generally assume of anyone I meet "in the open", that they're not worth my time, and people are generally eager to prove me right as soon as they open their piehole. This means that I'll generally make polite conversation where courtesy demands such, but I'll carefully skirt any topics of actual interest to me and do my best to come off as nondescript and faceless as possible. That way, the hon. member opposite can yap on and on for as long as they desire (which always is all they really want, in the end), and I can just get by with "uh-huh." "ahhh." "you don't say!" "hear, hear!" without having to suffer their outlandish, tasteless and clueless opinions on things I actually care about. Comes with the side-dish of them believing me to be a "great listener". HEH.

And then there's simply situations where I want some peace. On public transportation, going to and from work - I don't need anyone coming up to me trying to blab it up. In the morning I'll be trying to catch a few more minutes of quiet, and in the evening I'll be tired. Or at work, when something requires my attention - don't need some idiot staring over my shoulder cracking lame jokes, indulging in water-cooler conversation, or going "what's this do? what's that? huh, huh?".

OH RLY?!

But you do make a good point. There are times that are good for striking up conversations with strangers, and times that are not. Such as when you're going to work, and want to be in peace and all, and not be disturbed.

[size=8]BTW your taste for avis is quite strange. I liked the previous one better. With the mutated man and woman.[/h]

I think in my case I'm also pretty arrogant when it comes to guys in person. I don't communicate well with males because I have a bit of distrust for them. It sounds odd since I'm on a male dominated site - I have no problem with male friends, but it's rather hard for me to make male friends since I have a short fuse with them in the beginning.

I can't tolerate loud people, and I dislike flirts - because to me that just shows me that they're not serious and want to bag any girl they can to see how many they can work up their man ego.

I'm a rather quiet person in public, especially when alone. I'm not the most attractive female, so if a guy flirts with me I'm pretty much 'what the fuck are you doing?' in my head and either ignore him or just walk away.

Even if a guy was genuinely attracted to me, I dislike the fact that he focuses only on that. He'd have no idea about my personality or my interests, but just because I was pretty he'd flirt with me. The argument to that is 'well give him a chance to' A guy doesn't need to flirt to get to know somebody. It's not flattering. It's annoying.

I'm just not comfortable with a lot of guys irl.
It's not that I've been teased or made fun of - it probably stems more from not having a father figure in my life.

Usually the only way guys have ever achieved in getting me to talk to them and get close to them is when they're polite or have something to talk about.

I know a guy in my chemistry class had lunch with me a few times and even took me home once. He was a rather nice guy, and I knew he lived in my area because he wore a jacket with an EMT logo on it for an area real close to mine. He saw me in the library working on it and asked me if I was following class real well and admitted he wasn't - neither was I really. But we helped each other out when we could. One time class was canceled, and I didn't have a car - I came in early because my mom dropped me off before work, and I'd be forced to stay there quite a number of hours longer. He offered to take me home and I wasn't against it because he was a nice guy.
Another time class was canceled he had lunch with me.

I think he was a little interested in me, he asked me about a boyfriend. I told him I was moving at the end of the semester to Georgia for school with my boyfriend <_< Probably wasn't the answer he was looking for.

Remember that the situation Gambler described is that: he wanted to strike a conversation because she seemed to share his anime tastes (and yes, he found her pretty too).

He didn't want to talk to her just cause she was hot. Because he's not just some stud looking for sex.

I think it'd be okay for him to talk to her in this situation.

Oh I wasn't declaring that. That statement was more for 'not all girls enjoy being flirted with' for any of the guys who thought they might be able to smooth talk themselves into a conversation by flattering a girl.

Gambler doesn't come across as a guy who would be loud or flirtatious with women ;p he seems too polite for that.

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Hey, I ain't flattering you okay? It's just that every college impregnated girls I saw are good looking, I exactly know just 2 but I heard the likes of them over alot.

edit: I get the impression that you're lessening your anxiety about male's lust by familiarizing on hentai because you were probably targeted by perverts, another evidence that you're hot.

I hadn't read the new posts for now or else I'll make a post that consumes 2hrs. For now I'd just like to imply, about the public vehicle thing, I had no experience with it. It looks not worth the effort in my case because, I don't woo on the girl enough, I'll be getting to a new place which is alright if you're good at navigation.

Being the oddball that I am, I usually do strike up a conversation with strangers, especially while I'm on the college bus. This has lead to some of my newest and best friends. The problem is usually what to talk about with a stranger, so I usually have to figure some sort of ice breaker.

Rbz kept bitching about it until I abandoned it ;p
And come on, what's not to like about good ol' Teddy calling you a liar?

About flirts, it depends really. When I was single, I didn't outright mind being flirted with - always depended on the situation and the approach. On some occasions I thought it fun and flattering, but people rarely pull it off well enough to make it anything more than an embarrassing nuisance.
But since I'm in a relationship, I don't want any of it. I always make it unmistakably clear that I'm not interested. Cut them down in a sapling state. I know I'm being old-fashioned, and I know it's "just a flirt", but no thanks.

On conversing with members of the opposite sex, well - outside the bedroom I'm completely gender-blind. My imperious haughtiness does not stop for gender, skin color, nationality or sexual orientation.
That has its advantages, as I don't have a problem talking to members of the opposite sex, and it makes jealousy within our relationship a non-issue, really.
But it also comes with drawbacks, namely that of me stepping on people's toes a lot with treating everyone the same. And of gender-typical behaviour instilling nothing more than limitless ennui in me.
Like random guys who think we're "buds" and have this immediate shoulder-slapping male understanding because we're the only two guys in a room. No, we don't. Get back to your tribe of cavemen.
Or women who think it's "cute" and "endearing" to act girlish. It's not. It's childish and repulsive. Off to kindergarten with you.
And this is where the toes will be stepped on. "You can't treat a bud like that". "You can't talk to a gal like this". Bloo hoo hoo.

Gibbous that post was hilarious. xD

Because girls are nixon too.

I have no idea what you're talking about. I wasn't directing any of that to you whatsoever.

I'm also not pregnant. Stop it.
I'm also not on a hentai site to lesson my anxiety with guys. I live with a guy.
I'm on a hentai site because I enjoy hentai.

I use that one at work all the time. I'm surrounded by 60+ year old women who will start conversations about "How stale a certain brand of hot cross bun is from a certain super market"

Myself, I'm more of a "speak when spoken to" person. I won't start a conversation with anyone I don't know in public, but will politely reply to someone who talks to me. I will, however, strike up conversations with people I don't know in familiar places. For instance, when I was in college there were quite a few times when I saw someone playing a game or looking at video game footage on their laptops, and I'd start a conversation with them. I'm not sure I'd do the same in public though.

First and foremost, I am glad to see my thread receiving a positive response from the Fakku community. Hopefully, it will encourage more users to come up with topics that are slightly less intellectual than those in serious discussions, and can be applied to everyone, but not as incoherent.

Well then, there are a few things I would like to add after reading the responses of everyone.

- I noticed that some of you may not like to be approached while using the public transport, but what about other venues? Perhaps the library, a party or even a convention? Would you be more comfortable starting a conversation?

- Some of you may have gotten the wrong idea that I was hoping to start a conversation with the female watching Lucky Star because of her gender. Although it is a bonus, males who share the same hobby as myself will most likely catch my attention too, perhaps if he were wearing a hen-tie/Fakku t-shirt or reading Tenjo Tenge in public.

Ultimately, it is about making more friends and acquaintances, but I wouldn't mind if things took a turn for the better, especially when the other party is a female.





Thanks for the support. I have an inferiority complex about my looks in reality, which may be a hindrance when approaching strangers in public.

Be proud of your pedobear body

I think I'd be a little disturbed if someone came up to me while I was wearing my hen-tie shirt to be quite honest lol. Probably because the person would be like 'hey! I go to fakku too!' out of the excitement of seeing the shirt (I would be tempted to do it, but then realize the awkward situation I'd put myself in)

It's like 'Cool! Uhm, we both look at porn! Awesome! ...... >_>;'
Though it's a bit different if it were planned, such as an anime convention.

But if I were at the grocery store or something.. lol.

In your case though Gambler, It's be a little different I suppose since you're an actual mod and have some 'celebrity' to you in the hentai world on fakku. I mean, it's usually brag worthy when you get to say you met a staff member of your favorite website.

I don't mind being confronted elsewhere. I just dislike being confronted in public transit. Probably because your mind is 'on the go' as well. You're thinking about what you have to do, when you have to get there, and so forth to be wanting to talk to people.

But I'm very social in school settings. I usually become social with the people sitting by me. College is 100% different then high school though.

I always offered to help classmates by me if they were having a hard time and I wasn't. I tutored someone in math once, and also in English.
Work I try to be extremely social with as well. When you first get a job, usually your coworkers size you up. I usually find the best way to break an awkward conversation is to have them talk about themselves, like ask about them. They usually get a bit more comfortable and then also ask about yourself.