What can I do?
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Okay, so here goes, maybe you guys can help:
I have a crush on someone and I don't know how I should talk to the guy in question. He's good-looking, very nice and charming, but what makes it so difficult is that he's a waiter...in a restaurant, where I'm frequently dining.
How the hell should I talk to him, and get to know him better when he's doing his job all the time? And my mother thinks I shouldn't take unneeded risks, and I think she's right. I don't even know if he's married or not.
But life IS all about risks. Yes, if I fail, this would make it awkward for some time between him and me, but at least, I did it. If I don't do it, who knows if I will ever have the chance to again.
I'm a complete newbie in love things, I just wish someone could give me some advice on how to proceed.
That would be great. Thanks in advance! I'm counting on you, FAKKU!
(and yes, I know many of you will probably tell me: "Just do it!". Can you tell me anything else BESIDES that? Thank you ^o^)
P.S: I also know I shouldn't ask that in a forum, but guess what? I don't have real friends I could talk that over with.
EDIT: Too bad, I could have posted that in an other thread. Sorry >__<
I have a crush on someone and I don't know how I should talk to the guy in question. He's good-looking, very nice and charming, but what makes it so difficult is that he's a waiter...in a restaurant, where I'm frequently dining.
How the hell should I talk to him, and get to know him better when he's doing his job all the time? And my mother thinks I shouldn't take unneeded risks, and I think she's right. I don't even know if he's married or not.
But life IS all about risks. Yes, if I fail, this would make it awkward for some time between him and me, but at least, I did it. If I don't do it, who knows if I will ever have the chance to again.
I'm a complete newbie in love things, I just wish someone could give me some advice on how to proceed.
That would be great. Thanks in advance! I'm counting on you, FAKKU!
(and yes, I know many of you will probably tell me: "Just do it!". Can you tell me anything else BESIDES that? Thank you ^o^)
P.S: I also know I shouldn't ask that in a forum, but guess what? I don't have real friends I could talk that over with.
EDIT: Too bad, I could have posted that in an other thread. Sorry >__<
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Reminds me somewhat of the "Do You Like Horny Bunnies 2" introduction, so I am of course an expert on this subject.
Being a waiter, he propably is the sociable type, so if you enjoy your conversations, chances are that he does aswell. Not that this should indicate anything more than that, but if you can stand out in the crowd of customers you should have something to build on.
Or if you haven't gone that far yet, you could always play safe and pretend to be a childhood friend. Look up his personal background, school attendance, sparetime activities ect. Be prepared to reveil it at the right time, of course.
It's foolproof, as most people who aren't accustomed to dating simulators will feel quite special if someone goes those lenghts to engage in a relationship.
Being a waiter, he propably is the sociable type, so if you enjoy your conversations, chances are that he does aswell. Not that this should indicate anything more than that, but if you can stand out in the crowd of customers you should have something to build on.
Or if you haven't gone that far yet, you could always play safe and pretend to be a childhood friend. Look up his personal background, school attendance, sparetime activities ect. Be prepared to reveil it at the right time, of course.
It's foolproof, as most people who aren't accustomed to dating simulators will feel quite special if someone goes those lenghts to engage in a relationship.
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Well, I think I stand out of the crowd because he looks at me very often, even if I'm not looking and if our eyes meet, he is all smiling.
I think he's flirting with me...
And thanks for your advice, although this whole childhood friend can't really be applicated. I'm 19, he looks like he's 25. And it's too risky, I'm not gonna lie to him because I seriously don't know if we ever met. And it's hard to look up his history if I practically don't know anything about him >_>
But you are right, I might have something I could build on. Now how to approach him ^^;
I think he's flirting with me...
And thanks for your advice, although this whole childhood friend can't really be applicated. I'm 19, he looks like he's 25. And it's too risky, I'm not gonna lie to him because I seriously don't know if we ever met. And it's hard to look up his history if I practically don't know anything about him >_>
But you are right, I might have something I could build on. Now how to approach him ^^;
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Heh, childhood friend idea = bad. At least in America, because then you would be labeled a creepy stalker and your chances would be shot.
Additionally, I don't know how much help I'll be since I'm not a girl...there are obviously nuances that I do not understand... Speaking strictly from a males point of view, if i think a girl is cute/ I like her, I would take unneccesary glances at her and go out of my way to get her table or start conversations. Obviously, he may want to keep his job though, so he might not be able to go out of his way (I don't much care for jobs if something more worthwhile is at stake) to do these things. Try to think about if he has gone out of his way to talk to you or look at you, if he has, there may be something there.
I don't actually think -I- would be too weirded out if a girl asked me out to have coffee or something...that may be an option. something during the day that doesnt seem so much like a date but just hanging out...it's a start
Additionally, I don't know how much help I'll be since I'm not a girl...there are obviously nuances that I do not understand... Speaking strictly from a males point of view, if i think a girl is cute/ I like her, I would take unneccesary glances at her and go out of my way to get her table or start conversations. Obviously, he may want to keep his job though, so he might not be able to go out of his way (I don't much care for jobs if something more worthwhile is at stake) to do these things. Try to think about if he has gone out of his way to talk to you or look at you, if he has, there may be something there.
I don't actually think -I- would be too weirded out if a girl asked me out to have coffee or something...that may be an option. something during the day that doesnt seem so much like a date but just hanging out...it's a start
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Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it ^^
Yeah, he sometimes talks to me and just me. I should talk to him about it if he finishes work, maybe that helps. But then again, he might find it creepy...
Yeah, he sometimes talks to me and just me. I should talk to him about it if he finishes work, maybe that helps. But then again, he might find it creepy...
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Crystallion wrote...
Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it ^^Yeah, he sometimes talks to me and just me. I should talk to him about it if he finishes work, maybe that helps. But then again, he might find it creepy...
just make sure if you do ask him that you have a -good- plan ready. maybe say that you wanted to see a movie but had no one to go with, ask him if he wants to go with you, just an idea though lol
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It's a good idea, but first of all, I do not know anything about him. Not even his name! I think it's essential that I get some info out of him, everything else, I think, would turn him off easily. You do not get close if you do not know his name, I guess.
That's just my thoughts about that. But in and itself, it's a great idea.
That's just my thoughts about that. But in and itself, it's a great idea.
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Crystallion wrote...
It's a good idea, but first of all, I do not know anything about him. Not even his name! I think it's essential that I get some info out of him, everything else, I think, would turn him off easily. You do not get close if you do not know his name, I guess.That's just my thoughts about that. But in and itself, it's a great idea.
...i was kinda under the impression you knew his name...does he wear a name tag? they do that sometimes...
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Not that I know of, no.
Maybe I can find some stuff out like work schedules and name by other waiters of this restaurant, some of them are familiar with us after all... I don't want him to think I'm a stalker though.
I'm really bad at this. I'm 19 and don't have any experience with dating. And I'm not a very social person to be honest.
Maybe I can find some stuff out like work schedules and name by other waiters of this restaurant, some of them are familiar with us after all... I don't want him to think I'm a stalker though.
I'm really bad at this. I'm 19 and don't have any experience with dating. And I'm not a very social person to be honest.
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well, you could ask someone what "that cute waiters" name is, so then they'll know you're interested and will most likely let him know you're interested and then you have his name...that -might- work in your favor
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I sure hope so...
I want to take this chance. I think the most important thing I will have to do is take it slowly...because if I want something, I seem to be too hasty.
I hope it works out.
I want to take this chance. I think the most important thing I will have to do is take it slowly...because if I want something, I seem to be too hasty.
I hope it works out.
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You don't have to fall in love with him straightaway; getting to know him better may result in a wonderful friendship, and hopefully, lead to more wonderful things in the future.
There are a couple of ideas I thought of where you can find out more about your crush. Since he is waiter, why not ask for his name when he serves you? Better yet, if his service is good, you can always commend him to the restaurant manager. This way, not only can you gain information, but score points with him too.
Since you are a regular diner at the restaurant, perhaps you could observe their shift system, which may allow you to deduce the appropriate time to approach your crush for a conversation.
There are a couple of ideas I thought of where you can find out more about your crush. Since he is waiter, why not ask for his name when he serves you? Better yet, if his service is good, you can always commend him to the restaurant manager. This way, not only can you gain information, but score points with him too.
Since you are a regular diner at the restaurant, perhaps you could observe their shift system, which may allow you to deduce the appropriate time to approach your crush for a conversation.
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Wow, that's some good ideas. As long as I break the ice, it's good. But I think you nailed it when you said I could recommend him to the restaurant manager...actually, I think my family is familiar with him, so there shouldn't lie any problems.
I also wanted to find out their shift system so I could talk to him after work, maybe?
And I know it doesn't have to be love, but still, there are two very important reasons I'd like to at least talk to him:
1) I have a slight crush on him, or at the very least like him
2) I'm very lonely
The last one in particular makes me sad.
I would take it if we could become friends.
Oh and another thing: I don't even know if he's married or not o_O If he isn't, then it could go well, if he is, there WILL be pain. But anyway, I take the risk.
I also wanted to find out their shift system so I could talk to him after work, maybe?
And I know it doesn't have to be love, but still, there are two very important reasons I'd like to at least talk to him:
1) I have a slight crush on him, or at the very least like him
2) I'm very lonely
The last one in particular makes me sad.
I would take it if we could become friends.
Oh and another thing: I don't even know if he's married or not o_O If he isn't, then it could go well, if he is, there WILL be pain. But anyway, I take the risk.
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Crystallion wrote...
Oh and another thing: I don't even know if he's married or not o_O If he isn't, then it could go well, if he is, there WILL be pain. But anyway, I take the risk.
Regardless of whether he is married or not, there is no rule saying that married men can't make friends with other females. :)
I believe all of us experience loneliness to a certain extent, but when meeting new people, it would be wise not to reveal our weaknesses to them. Then again, it may just me and my overly-cautious nature.
Good luck!
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You can ask his manager about his schedule, they might not tell you, but they probably will let you know when they are on lunch, you might be able to talk to him then.
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Waar
FAKKU Moderator
alright so I work as a barista at starbucks and I have to tell you, flirting is awesome; if you can sneak in some comments about how you're single or something he might get the idea but i would avoid doing to "approach him after work" idea; inquiring about his shifts may also seem stalkerish. If you really wanted to take a shot you could simply leave him your number, if he calls you win and if he doesn't no problem, it never happened.