Would you want to get married?

Marriage has seemed to lose its charm over the decades. It used to be very religious and taken very seriously. Now you can get a divorce at a snap of the finger.

Google "Quick Divorces" and see all the shit that comes up.

People say "I love you" After dating for a week, and a lot of people don't even get involved with serious relationships anymore.

People live busy lives and they get what they need from somebody and move on.

Can people really live up to those vows?
There's a lot of athiest/agnostic people on this site - since marriage is a religious act, would that stop you from getting married?

For me personally, I wouldn't marry somebody unless I was with them for a -long- time. I learned that it takes a long time to make a bond, but it only takes one thing to break down the tower. I think people are nuts when they get married after only knowing each other for 6 months to a year. I dated somebody for 2 years and they just dropped things like it never mattered.
I still believe that if you get married you should stay married unless there's abuse in the relationship.

I don't think somebody can 'change' their mind or should be able to change their mind after taking a vow through life and death you'll be with this person and love this person.

I wouldn't ever propose, I would want my partner to. The reason behind that isn't due to 'tradition' but more for the fact of my insecurity. I have an insecurity that my significant others will get tired of being with me and move on. If I propose that's added pressure and I'd fear that he'd accept out of peer pressure and after married a divorce occur because he made a decision he wasn't ready for.

If he proposes then at least I know he's made the decision to want to spend the rest of his life with me.

me and the gf have been together for 4 yrs this month. We just moved in together 3 months ago. marriage is next on the list eventually.

Personally, I don't value marriage very highly, or even at all. It's ink on a piece of paper.
The relationship I'm currently in (6yrs) has outlasted any marriage I've seen among my peers. Why? Because if you're disloyal and dishonest with each other, if you're incompatible in personality, etc., no amount of vows and rings will nor should save you. On the other hand, if you are loyal and honest with each other, and you are compatible, then you won't need a piece of paper to confirm that. So, unless she wants to get married (not bloody likely, given her radical stance on the subject), I probably won't. If she wants to, meh, it doesn't outright bother me either. Marriage is simply devoid of meaning to me.



I'm an almost militant atheist, but no, it would not stop me from getting married. You can (and a lot of people do, these days) always have a ceremony that looks exactly the same as a religious marriage, only with a state official instead of a priest taking your vows.
It wouldn't even bother me to do it in front of a priest, because I don't believe in the (sorry) hocus pocus anyways, but the church wouldn't let me ;p


Absolutely and totally agree. The people who rush to get married at any cost don't make sense to me in this day and age. In times gone by it was necessary to get married to avoid a scandal, but these days? You can stay together for decades as a couple without the public starting a hoopla. And I appreciate that.

If you really regard marriage as a union for life, knowing your partner thoroughly should be a personal prerequisite for getting married. Hence, (no offense to anyone) those "I'll save myself for marriage" types always made me wary because of that. If you regard marriage as committing yourself for life to someone, you should know you're compatible in every part of the relationship.


Well, during the late 18th and 19th century, it was almost impossible for lovers to be together unless married. As the social pressure waned, the supposedly unique nature of marriage slowly eroded. Well, that's my view of the matter anyways ^.~



Personally, I'm not against quick divorces - if people decide they're unhappy and need to get the hell out, let them. What really bothers me are people that get hitched head over heels and then assume they have to stay with that partner forever, even if every day is a fight and they have long lost any sort of attraction or feeling for each other.


Mm, yeaaaa - but people can change. Someday you might wake up next to your husband and realize he's not the man you once loved anymore. That everything you once loved about him is gone and now you can't really stand anything about him anymore. Then what?
I dunno, taking a vow to love someone and be with someone forever seems slightly unrealistic to me - I don't think one can force themselves to love someone. And if you don't love or even like someone any longer, then being with that person forever can be very, very hellish.
That's why I don't think of divorces as wrong.

Doesn't the word wedding mean gamble? I however on the other hand, am a person committed to my hobbies.

It means pledge (< Old English weddian, to pledge < Old Nordic, vethja, to pledge).

Well, I guess you can't take Persona 4 seriously then, lol. :lol:

Lol, fail.

Many points were covered, but honestly, being atheist/agnostic does NOT equate to disloyalty or no marriages. Me? I'm a romantic kind of guy, so the "religious" kind of marriage wouldn't stop me from marrying someone I loved. And like HentaiElder mentioned, I'm a very loyal and honest person, which are important in any relationship, especially something as binding as marriage.

I was so against marriage 2 years ago. I thought it to be stupid. I mean, 1/2 of the people who marry end up divorcing.
But then I met my gf, and everything changed. ^^ I now think of it as another step to become closer to eachother.

"Love" is a term thrown around very cheaply nowadays, as the first post pointed out.

For me, I hope to get married one day, but to a girl who I wouldn't really need to get married too. Love is love, regardless of if there is an expensive ring around your finger. There is nothing sacred about Love anymore (at least, not the mainstream love thats in every book and movie), so the only reason I would get married is for the novelty of it, the excuse to eat cake, and insurance purposes.

If I really love a girl, and she loves me, marriage wont change anything, and it shouldn't, Just like what gibbous said. We'd still not cheat on each other, live together, and play together. I dont think I would feel the need to wait till after marriage when it comes to the sex, because its not like sex will be any more gratifying or sacred if I do it after a long boring ceremony.

Marriage, ultimately, is going to be a step I plan to take, but dont necessarily need to take.

...did I say ANYTHING original in this post? ^_^;

thanks!

:oops: Was not expecting that. Anyway, his intelligence causes for good conversations and sometimes debates. Usually anything in SD gets discussed verbally before he types it on there, also usually while I'm cooking dinner. After having it with him, I don't really feel the need to go on about it in SD myself. He'll let me know his opinion and I'll either disagree and question it or I'll agree with some and disagree with some and explain why. We're very different politically <__< Thank god elections won't be for a while.



I feel like people need to take a hard look at their lives and spend enough time with each other long enough to know that I won't wake up one day and decide I want somebody else. I'm not that type of person, if I walk into something I put everything into it. It's not that I would see myself doing it, I'd be more concerned about my partner to do it. I think that would about kill me if the person who swore their love to me and married me decided he wanted a divorce, just because he woke up one day and decided he wants another girl.

"Love" isn't a joke to me. I've never said it to somebody in a relationship, ever. I'm in a mix where I want to say it when I feel like I really do love this person and I feel like true love isn't until you want to dedicate your life with somebody and love all of them including their flaws and bad habits.

The problem with that is I have it in my head that guys are chased away with that and I prefer to not say it in fear they'll get scared away. Though if a guy does get scared away then he's really not meant for me, is he?

Also, I just never know when I should say it. In person I have a hard time explaining my feelings whether they're good or bad, so I would express it.

OH,
Another question, how do you guys feel about 'popping' the question?
For me I don't think I'd like it in a public setting. That's where pressure occurs. I think a marriage is expensive, very serious change in a persons life, and not something that can be sprung over dinner in a fancy restaurant with everyone smiling and glaring at you. I think it can be done romantically.. I just don't know if I'd want it done publicly.

If I ever get married I want it to be with my gf. We been together since grade school so if anyone it has to be her. Loyalty and Honesty was like one of the things we promise to each other when we became bf and gf,and so thats how its going to be when we get married[size=10](which we have a hard time deciding...hahaha)[/h].
Oh and for those against marrage consider this this quote.

"One who does not know love...will eternally be unable to gain true strength. Love and romance ought not to be mocked. It isnt until you truly do attain infinite strength and wisdom that you realize how impossible attaining "love" it is! You will never understand in fullness how weak you really are,untill you know that "strength". Strength without acceptance of weakness is a sham...you may as well compare who'll get the first pimple-thats how mature figthing/arguing is!"[size=10](Well in my eyes thats how I see it)[/h]

Yeah, I don't really care for the concept of marriage. To me, it feels like it creates this permanent, binding contract that really doesn't need to be there. I don't have to sit there and tell you that I'll be with you forever to know that I will or not. I'll just love the person for the sake of loving them, and skip the whole marriage aspect if possible.

For me, I like the ceremony and dress. It makes it seem more sacred in that aspect.

@ZiggyOtaku: I don't think anything in life is a certain thing, marriages or no. As for your question, popping the question should be done privately, but it's possible for it to be done in public with your trusted friends I believe.

Oh, I understand, and agree to a point; I just think people can drift apart over the course of decades, without necessarily just deciding they want another girl/guy.



Huh? Said what? Sorry, I think I lost you there.




Absolutely concur.

Also, I just never know when I should say it. In person I have a hard time explaining my feelings whether they're good or bad, so I would express it.




Totally not in public. That public proposal is a nice hollywood stereotype but I couldn't imagine it being very pleasant for either of us. Given the nature of our relationship she'd be the one to "pop" it in the first place though ;p

I've never told a guy in a relationship that I love them. Though, I'm only in my second one. But my last one lasted 2 years, typically people start saying it sooner then that.

Right. In that case



Yeah, if he gets scared away by that, then he's possibly not meant for you.
And yeah, I know there are people (m/f) who are afraid of commitment, but to me personally that isn't something that'd scare me away, on the contrary.

I can see where you're coming from with your worries though, as I'm extremely distrustful by nature; and it took me a while to realize that I can speak my mind in all things in this relationship - and that this is something to treasure, not something to shy away from.

I'm not sure if I could actually bring myself to actually get married. I'd like to have a kid in about 5 years though. Got to find a women who'll bear me a child and then go away. I don't think the odds of finding one are very good though :(

You could just adopt.

Yeah, but I find the idea of having a blood related child rather appealing. Not saying I wouldn't adopt it just wouldn't be my first choice.