CPOK wrote...
I was raised with the belt being an option of punishment and it worked. Now my sister and her husband can't use a belt as a punishment because they would get there arses tossed in gaol. The town where I grew up as a teenager was safe and all that stuff...now I wouldn't step in there without a platoon of soldiers in full kit as a bare minimum...all because physical punishment is no longer allowed (even a open hand smack on the bum) and it is only going to get worse.
That's quite a shame... but luckily, at least it doesn't apply to families like mine. I'm still a teenager (16), but I was beat up a lot whenever I made mistakes by my mom (dropping rice, spilling water, making mistakes on the piano). My parents are from China, so everything worked out fine.
Sure I got disciplined pretty heavily by my mom when I was young, and it was sort of painful then, but the result really appears best now. I'm doing fine in school with a perfect GPA, good in music, sports, trilingual, and I have some very keen interests (hentai :S)
So, specifically for my situation, it worked out really well because my mother knew HOW to discipline me. Never throughout my childhood did I believe she didn't care for me. Most often she would comfort me after she beat me to reassure she still loved me.
As for the legal situation, that problem never existed. Even though my dad didn't like some of the rages my mom had, and even encouraged me to report her to the police on a few occasions. But, we're immigrants, and I was raised to not trust the police, so you never would have seen me using the police as a threat.
Of course, now I have different views about the police, and also I don't get disciplined anymore. Just because I sort of aged out of it. My mom and I are very close.
In general, I think there is not only a good way to discipline, but a CORRECT way to.
Unfortunately, it seems most people in the U.S. just don't really know how. Despite my mom being Chinese, I don't think my situation is purely cultural. I hope it is possible for other families (white families especially, since they are the majority) to grasp on how to practice correct discipline effectively in the subject of bringing up children.
Ehhh...that was a strange rant, but I think important.
Edit: I wanted to add this as a second post. But fakku keeps saying I'm double posting.
Nashrakh wrote...
Mr.Shaggnificent wrote...
I have a theory; if you hit your kids when they're young, other people won't hit them when they're adults.
Yeah, men will shoot and stab other people instead and women wind up in abusive relationships they can't get out of. The latter are usually beaten by others though.
What I want to say is - if you hit your kids, you teach them violence as an acceptable way of solving problems. So of course they won't get hit when they're adults, they are usually the ones to hit first, or even go beyond that.
i have seen proof of this. there were these two brothers in my neighborhood who had abusive parents who beat up their asses all the time. i ran into one of them much later and he still acted the same as when we were kids. i was stabbed by him later that day.
Hey, sorry for first posting before reading this post first.
But your point of discussion is very valid. Your example is what I call an example of INCORRECT discipline. Of course, I am a bit biased from how I was raised.