WELCOME TO: MEET THE FLEET
Hi, I'm Ribz'Clitmastah vas Qwib Qwib; my friends call me Ribz. You aliens seem to be rather
taken aback by the visage of my people. Some would rather have us remain in our suits for all eternity, while others have suggested that our ancestors copulated with earth-like apes. Such statements are atrocious and make us reluctant to interact with the rest of the galactic community. I want to let others know about the real Quarians, so they would be more accepting and recognize us not just by the color of our suits, but by the content of our faces. Come on, let's have a look around:
From left to right: Stew, Brian, Joe, Lesley. These guys are thoroughly enjoying a Command & Conquer match. By the looks on their faces, we can tell that whoever is playing has the Geth under their heel in the Rannoch map. Due to the significance of our names, Lesley constantly has her masculinity questioned.
This is Matt. He's the local economist. We shouldn't disturb him for too long, though, since he needs all the time he has available to concoct a method for screwing the incoming Volus merchant harder, faster, and with a bigger smile (so to speak).
Meet Travon. He's a rare form of Quarian due to the darker skin tone. I tell him all the time that the object in his mouth is bad for his immune system, but his reply is always, "Come back when I give a fuck!" I'll check up on him tomorrow.
We eat with our mouths, not our chins, Jack. Hahaha, he's such a kidder. Jack is an intellectual. He's always coming up with great philosophical concepts and he draws impressive art. Just last week he made this:
This here is Hacker. He is an aspiring Admiral. He's always going on about his political machinations, but his name suggests he'd be an excellent engineer. It's too bad that he keeps getting into trouble for messing around with girls' Nerve-Stim Pro programs.
Ah, Captain Drapehs. He's the finest soldier in the Migrant Fleet. There are rumors that he had the hots for Tali. It seems he has became more hostile since she left with some human bosh'tet. Her absence lets him focus a lot more on his role as a soldier; he dreams of becoming the first Quarian Spectre.
Oh, Leroy. Ever since he saw a certain cartoon from earth, it has been hard to keep him in his suit. It's gotten so ridiculous that people now call him the ship idiot. He's always telling us to "believe it," though he never specifies what "it" is.
Looks like our time is up. I'm going to go show Lesley how to properly shoot a Geth's optical unit. Bye for now.