leonard267 Posts

I found it entertaining. I am sorry to say that I could not find it tragic because I was more than amused by the description of the Nekogirl creature and why our hero treasured it so much. Was it like an animal? It is kept in cages after all and rather furry. Or was it human?

I can only blame myself for lacking the needed empathy to fully sympathise with the main character and Claire. Never was an animal lover myself and never took to romance.

Like most of your stories, they were easy to understand, the opening dialogue might not get to the point about what Claire was but to your credit it was short. (Not to say that you have to get to the point at the opening, in fact doing so might ruin the story. It is more of the case that I am glad that the opening dialogue was short and gave us an idea of what the main character was.) Please take my remarks as a compliment.

This is a last minute entry. I changed my mind. I think I can come up with something within one morning after all.

The Lady of the Night

The Lady of the Night

The Lady of the Night was a very elusive yet well-known figure much alike the blood red moon that grace the night skies ever so rarely but known to all. She was the object of desire of many men and the object of envy of those who belonged to the so-called fairer sex. Perhaps the best word to describe The Lady of the Night is bewitching.

It was no wonder that many stories concerning her were made and like all stories of such nature, are of doubtful veracity but contain tiny nuggets of truth. Some claimed that those who entered her embrace found youth everlasting. Some claimed that men who touched her lips were blessed with good fortune (and made fortunes). Some claimed that those whom she gazed at were crowned with fame and glory. Some also claimed that many people who approached and beheld her were smitten by her that they never returned.

How many believed in those stories about her? Certainly not a not-so-young man who rightly took those stories with a pinch of salt but had not enough sense to mind his own business and not curiosity get the better of him. For many days and many months, that young man flitted from one town to another where they were news of sightings of The Lady of the Night. His obsession with The Lady might have paid off after all as he was able to track her down using (and sifting through) the information he gathered about the Lady.

He gathered that the Lady would either have to live like a recluse or go underground. Yet, she could not suppress the urge to show herself ever once in a while. Though she was discreet, the not-so young man managed to trace her whereabouts. The two were to confront each other at long last at the outskirts of some bustling city where the hustle and bustle of the nightlife were faint and distant. A full moon with an uncommon red hue was high in the sky. It was of course a starless night.

The Lady was bemused by the not-so-young man's persistence in locating her. How could someone have the resources to engage in a months long search? Does gold line his pockets? Who was this not-so-young man? It appeared that The Lady of the Night now felt what others felt about her, that aura of mystery and the feelings of aroused curiosity that accompanied it. Yet neither was she willing to be straightforward with him after many years of moving in the shadows and keeping a low profile. She would toy with him like a child receiving a new plaything and would discard him if she longer fancies him.

The not-so-young man was at a loss of words when he saw the Lady of the Night. Was he besotted due to her looks? Was he in pure disbelief that the Lady of the Night decided to appear before him so brazenly? Either way, the Lady of the Night beckoned at him, and the not-so-young man followed her mindlessly as if gripped by some kind of spell into her carriage.

So, the not-so-young man was brought into a palatial residence located faraway from where they met. Where it was exactly many did not know. The not-so-young man thought that he was brought underground to where the Lady of the Night lived. The entire place was illuminated with a gentle, orange glow pleasing to the eyes and soothing to the mind. As gentle as the lights was the music played by unseen musicians in the background. Even more soothing and at the same time arousing was the scented oils used.

The Lady of the Night smiled at him and clicked her fingers. Many young women, barely a decade after puberty and with looks almost as astounding as The Lady herself appeared before the not-so-young man. If they were there in that place of residence the whole time, they must be well concealed.

All of this would have enthralled any ordinary man, and it seemed that the not-so-young man was entranced himself. Tonight (or perhaps today for it was not possible to tell whether it was day or night) would be unforgettable. All the man had to do was to utter four words.





_______________________________________________________________

Concerning Morality and A Case Study of the Human Life Cycle

Morality, often confused with ethics (rule based definitions of right and wrong) or virtue (desirable attribute), is in actuality a personal belief of what is right or wrong. Putting the topic of morality into consideration, it is indeed a considerably contentious issue since what I consider right or wrong is considerably different by a considerable amount from a considerably homicidal psychopath lopping off some poor man's head without consideration leading to a considerable amount of blood splattered.

The pointless rape of the English language aside, this essay proposes the hypothesis that while morality differs from one person to another, it really boils down to this: "You do good, you will be rewarded. You do wrong, you will be punished."

The author of this essay however realises that a mere definition of morality is not only vague and rather difficult to comprehend. Moreover, coming up with an essay is the surest way to bore readers (though to be truthful, they are bored with whatever I put into writing anyway) and not win anything in writing events like these where everyone prefers a properly written story that I am extremely reluctant to come up with.

Thus, the mode of presentation to elucidate this fascinating topic of morality would be to go through the life cycle of a certain human being called John. In line with attempting (futilely) to compete for top prize or at least an honourable mention for the event, a narrative instead of an essay will be written:

When what could be seen of John was a lump in his mother's abdomen, and when his head was splitting open the cervix of his poor mother, and when his body is shoving aside the pelvic bones, and when his poor mother was suffering from conditions symptomatic of someone in labour, John's mother was in incredible pain and agony.

Long time no see Yuri, I was wondering if I can contribute to your thread if I have some silly poem in mind.

No, no. It all has to do with my tastes in reading where I want some background information to be provided especially if the story concerned has a fantasy setting.

I did not really say that you did not explain what was happening, what I said was that you ought to provide background information especially for those who are not acquainted with the story. I think the main reason why fanfiction does not appeal to everyone is because the author assumes that the reader is familiar with the universe he or she is parodying.

I can't tell what is happening because everything is told from Zero's point of view. All I managed to figure is a woman encountering a flower and somehow found herself with 5 other persons. It is quite clear that that flower causes anguish and heals mortal wounds but what does it do other than that that makes it so dangerous? In fact, who is Zero? Why should I care about her and what she thinks? Why is she attempting suicide?

There was a very brief mention of the "Flower" goading her to "destroy the world" that is easily missed. Then again I would dismiss it as a product of a deranged mind. How could one lone woman 'destroy the world'? This is where information (if you aren't sure about the origins of the Flower, you can fabricate those origins) about the Flower told from third person or introduced in the introduction would come in.



I guessed what the "Flower" does after going through the spinoffs like Shin ni Itaru Aka and going through the original Drakengard game and the timeline found on the Drakengard-3 website. It seemed to be responsible for the "Red-Eyes Disease" that sends those afflicted into some bloodthirsty rage.

To give you credit, it reads like The Pit and the Pendulum by Edgar Allan Poe, a work I genuinely hated (but everyone else loves) because it does not say early in the story who that our main character is a victim of the Inquisition and I am left reading paragraph after paragraph of him being subjected to torture with no idea why he was there, who he was so on and so for.

However, Edgar Allan Poe has many readers. He is not a terrible author in fact far from it. I regret to say I don't count myself as one of them because of how I view literature. I would like literature to first inform or at least provide some information to orientate the reader then go into the descriptions.

It reminded me of what I have read on the attempted translation of the Drakengard 3 novel and of course the 'novellas' that accompany the game. I was able to understand what you have wrote mainly because I have some background knowledge about Drakengard 3. I believed it would not make sense to me if I did not play Drakengard 3.

I would most likely add a paragraph of background information if I wanted people who do not much about the Drakengard series to read it. The paragraph would be quite similar to the descriptions in the timeline of the Drakengard universe which would indicate:

1. Who Zero was before she became Zero. She was a serial killer who was apprehended by the authorities of that time.

2. What is the "Flower" and what are its origins. It was a doomsday device sent to the world by the nihilistic Gods who created the world (who now want to destroy it). It possessed the imprisoned Zero. Realising that the "Flower" would use her as a vessel to destroy the world, Zero tried to remove it but to no avail. She attempted suicide resulting in the birth of her 'sisters', women who possessed the evil powers of the "Flower".

I believe that the attempted novelisation of the game, spinoff works based on the game and the game backstory itself contradict each other, making it all the more confusing.

The novelisation suggested that the sisters were based on the people Zero killed.
The game suggested that the sisters were based on the women who were imprisoned along with Zero.
(Correct me if I am wrong)

Like to ask, do I need to read the Legendary Sentinels, the Great Game and Aftermath to understand A Knife in the Dark?

I remembered that I have promised you a review of this thread but I have some doubts about writing it. I have made my opinions known about this thread long ago and you can say that one of my event entries detailed the problems I had with it.

Are you still busy? I think I would be. I am not sure if I can get down to writing The Boring Boy. However, I can somehow manage to find time for GTA San Andreas and perhaps the Private Eye thread.



You write in Tagalog don't you? Love to know the details of what you have written. As for me, English is my first language and I wrote quite a lot of nonsense. You can click on the signatures below to have a taste of what I write:

https://www.fakku.net/forums/writing-and-fanfiction/summer-contest-entry-2012-leonard267s-summer-vacation

https://www.fakku.net/forums/writing-and-fanfiction/winter-writing-contest-wrap-up-campaigning-and-mudslinging

I mainly write to amuse myself. Find writing much easier than drawing or sketching. Writing to me is all about communicating what I think into the written word. Writing techniques, 'nice-sounding' phrases are all really secondary to that.

Well! I have to wrap up this little event. It has been stickied here for long enough! Thank you for the all of the submissions. I will go through them if I have the time.

AnimeKid, I think it is a very lousy idea to name contests after the seasons. It isn't summer right now in many places on the planet you know.

That picture of the man being fall down on this stomach on that road barrier must be very painful indeed. Alas, I can't understand what the Jamaicans are saying let along singing!

No attempt to read my take on high's Halloween entry?

On topic, I understood it much better than Lost Warmth. Some young man lamenting that the summer is over from the looks of it. After all, I can picture a summer holiday better than a battle ravaged hellhole. Will go into detail later. Wish it could be a longer entry or a proper story since there is no word limit then again, it is unfair for me to demand one seeing that I don't write stories.

Hopefully I would get to your work in time. I see myself becoming rather busy in the next few days. Care to point out how the contents of Uki Uki Suru differ from Doki Doki Suru?

I promised you last October that I would come up with this. Sorry that it took 10 months.

This will most likely be my last entry for the event.

Uki Uki Suru

I must clarify that this is not written by me though the main character unfortunately shares the first three letters of my username.

I am done with my final entry for the event.

Uki Uki Suru

Introduction:

https://www.fakku.net/forums/writing-and-fanfiction/halloween-2013-doki-doki-suru

Doki Doki Suru roughly translates from Japanese to mean the uneasy feelings brought about by dread or nervousness and it is often mistaken for the feelings of anticipation or excitement. Having read it myself, I feel that the title is ironically analogous to the feelings I have right now attempting to make sense out of it.

A mere glance through its text is potentially life changing, a testament to the power of the imagery this text evokes. Just the mere thought of it is enough to make my eyes water and my bowels and other muscles at the bottom end of my torso lose function. It is unbelievable that the story is set in the most humble of places nestled far away from the troubles of the world.

Doki Doki Suru is a story of a farmer and his encounters with love whilst toiling in the fields in the former Dutch East Indies. Belying his unobtrusive exterior lies a man with extraordinary abilities that are beyond the realm of comprehension! It is indeed not an exaggeration to claim that this magnum opus of high_time's is mind blowing.

The rewrite of Doki Doki Suru aims to make this masterpiece more accessible to the masses due to its incomprehensible nature. I hope my good friend and author of Doki Doki Suru, high_time, would appreciate this effort. What on earth was I thinking offering to do this?!


Story Proper:


Far away from the hustle and bustle of the sprawling concrete jungles of the modern urban cities of the former Dutch East Indies and safely nestled in the peace and tranquility that is the strange and exotic countryside lived a farmer who looked unobtrusive and rather unassuming.

His job was tend to plant the seedlings, tend to the crops, reap the harvest and sell it to whoever who wish to purchase the harvest under the supervision of his ancient and near-decrepit grandfather who owned the farm he was working at. As circumstances would have it, he was poised to inherit his grandfather's mantle as owner of that farm. However, in recent years thanks to innovations in farming technology and the inability of his grandfather to keep up with the times, the farm encountered financial problems.

Driven to desperation, the farmer's grandfather decided to grow crops that would fetch a high price in the black market, a rather euphemistic way to say that those crops are raw materials for mind altering substances. For those who don't get it, in recent years, our hero is made to plant dope. It was of course not without consequence. While what happened to that farmer was exactly unknown, as the days went by, it became more and more obvious that he was losing his senses.

Yet, he managed to keep a diary of sorts of which he named "Doki Doki Suru". The title of that diary was a language alien to his native land which meant feelings of nervousness, anxiety or dread. At first glance, it made little to no sense with fantastic scenarios being fleshed out in grisly detail. Ironically, the title of that diary was an apt description of the feelings of those who were made to re-read his diary.

Here is a summary of the contents of that diary on a certain entry:

1. The farmer threw an object which he claimed to be some sex toy. It unfortunately hit his grandfather who also happened to be his employer. That resulted in him being either unconscious or dead. His body was used as a scarecrow though.

2. The farmer hoped for herds of cows. Instead aliens from outer space paid obeisance to that scarecrow of a unconscious body before abducting it and leaving a toilet in its place.

3. The toilet transforms, so he claims, into his fiancée who masochistically obliges to engage in some hanky-panky with the farmer.

4. Many other onlookers looked on for what they saw was two persons flailing on the ground like beached fish. They appeared to be pleasuring themselves at the sight of it though the farmer claimed that they do not possess reproductive organs.

5. He made mention about the size of his manhood and his virility. He claimed that his manhood was so large that it caused aeroplanes to crash, bombs to detonate and botched military exercises.

6. The rest of the entry describes in detail intercourse with a giant cockroach. Some who read that diary entry are of the belief that the cockroach was actually his fiancée, others believe that it was one of the victims he kidnapped.

7. It was suggested that he cut the cockroach up, removed its heart and ate in a flourish with the mind-boggling claim that with that act, he would be bound with the cockroach forever till death do them part.

For those who are interested in the contents of the diary in full, here is the entry. Attempts to interpret what happened in actuality are in italics enclosed in spoilers:

The day started with me rinsing my face with sulphuric acid and wiping whatever that splattered on my pants with a chainsaw. While it did much to rouse me, I felt that I needed some exercise before I start my day properly. So, I decided to fling a few sex toys out of my window with all of my might to release the tension built up in my muscles caused by many hours of sleep and at the same time, get rid of that rubbish.



It was then I heard a cry and a dull thud. While I did not mind the commotion that much, I ambled out of my quarters anyway only to see old man (unconscious or dead, I don't know) lying on his back face upwards with my sex toy in his mouth. I supposed that it was my fault though for mindlessly throwing that toy out of the window without minding the consequences. Still, I had to make the best out of this wretched situation. Should I call an ambulance or seek medical help? What an unproductive waste of time and money! His body is better off as a scarecrow!



I was rather pleased at that decision. While the scarecrow of my grandfather's body did do its job in scaring the crows, I hoped that it could attract cows that tend to ruin the crops with their stamping and chewing of the crops. Like any farmer, I wish to see the cows copulate with each other to produce calves and I was certain that they would find the scarecrow arousing. That strangely didn't happen.

What happened instead was a group of humanoids that looked like aliens to me swarming all over that scarecrow. They arrived in strange vehicles that looked like UFOs. After a lot of screaming in their alien language and gesticulating, they took away the scarecrow and erected what looked like a toilet in its place!



I was dismayed for a while seeing that my scarecrow was replaced with a toilet until I saw a dazzling woman emerge from it. She was as angelic as an angel, as beautiful as a beauty and, as I was to find out, as slutty as a slut. Like all angels, like all beauties and like all sluts, I thought she was there with the solemn goal of delivering me from pain and suffering.

I made my way forwards only to see her shedding off her clothes, alike to an insect moulting. Before I knew it, she became an insect, a cockroach to be precise! Its feelers and its top four legs were flailing aimlessly whilst its two legs propped up its entire body in a very sexually provocative manner. I was as aroused as ever and flung myself on her.



As the cockroach and I were tightly locked in embrace, enjoying the tingling and exhilarating sensation of my skin and her exoskeleton touching each other, I noticed that there were onlookers seeing us getting intimate. I didn't care for I was deep in ecstasy.

I swore that some of the onlookers were rather aroused by what they saw and I believed they are fondling their loins at the sight of me and the cockroach. The onlookers were most likely their neighbours. I have seen them at toilet and they appear not to have any genitals so I thought that that exercise of loin-fondling was pretty pointless.



Those onlookers were so excited by my display of love that they begun foaming out of every pore, cavity, aperture and hole in their bodies, especially their mouths. So eager were they to commemorate this very moment that they set off a rocket into the sky only for to blow up mid-air into a gargantuan plume of smoke that blocked off the rays of the sun. It was an unforgettable sight.



Forgive me for not being modest, but I think I deserved that adulation. I am after all the most virile and sexually appealing person in the village with my large appendage between my legs dwarfing all the others. At one point, my manhood grew so large that it pierced the skies. No woman, cockroach or man can resist my allure as I run around the fields with nary a shred of clothing, my well-built physique for all to see.



How lucky that cockroach is to be the centre of my attention and the object of my carnal desires! Never minding the onlookers, the rockets fired and the mouth foaming, we continued our epic romp, moving from corner to corner whilst we did it for all to see. However, most of the action took place behind the closed doors of my quarters.



During the long hours of us having each other as company and satisfying our near-insatiable lust, I came slowly to the realisation that I am deeply in love with the cockroach and I would like to be with it forever. Yet, even though they can withstand high levels of radiation, existed ever since the time of the dinosaurs and are hard to kill, cockroaches don't live long. Even the species with the longest lifespans die within 2 years. How unfair for star crossed lovers such as us to be parted by the cruel hands of fate! What a shame that such everlasting love is not everlasting! I don't want it to end.



I did the only reasonable thing for us to be together forever. It has to be with me. It has to be in me. So, just as the cockroach took my heart, I did likewise to it. Literally. As I chomped down bits of its heart, I felt nothing but bliss, knowing that we would be together for eternity.

Having shared the happiest moments of my life, I end my entry in the hope that everyone would feel the same, the sensation of being "Doki Doki Suru".

[spoil]Investigators have placed the farmer into custody. He is under suspicion for being responsible for the disappearance of quite a few persons. This disturbing entry implies that he partook in murder and cannibalism. Interestingly enough, the farmer lived on a diet of offal especially that of goat and pig hearts.

As this report is being written, the farmer is placed in a strait jacket as part of a therapy to restore his sanity. There are many, myself included, hoping that the therapy would include physical torture.

This entry is based on high_time's magnum opus of sorts:
https://www.fakku.net/forums/writing-and-fanfiction/halloween-2013-doki-doki-suru

I would like to ruin your day by demanding you to skim through it first then read through my entry.

I look forward to you completing it. I have skimmed through it and it reads like Doki Doki Suru. I would try to read in detail. That said, I think I will wrap up Doki Doki Suru:

How lucky that cockroach is to be the centre of my attention and the object of my carnal desires! Never minding the onlookers, the rockets fired and the mouth foaming, we continued our epic romp, moving from corner to corner whilst we did it for all to see. However, most of the action took place behind the closed doors of my quarters.



During the long hours of us having each other as company and satisfying our near-insatiable lust, I came slowly to the realisation that I am deeply in love with the cockroach and I would like to be with it forever. Yet, even though they can withstand high levels of radiation, existed ever since the time of the dinosaurs and are hard to kill, cockroaches don't live long. Even the species with the longest lifespans die within 2 years. How unfair for star crossed lovers such as us to be parted by the cruel hands of fate! What a shame that such everlasting love is not everlasting! I don't want it to end.



I did the only reasonable thing for us to be together forever. She has to be with me. She has to be in me. So, just as the cockroach had taken my heart, I would do likewise to it. Literally. As I chomped down bits of its heart, I felt nothing bliss, knowing that we would be together for eternity.

Having shared the happiest moments of my life, I end my entry in the hope that everyone would feel the same, the sensation of being "Doki Doki Suru".

[spoil]Investigators have placed the farmer into custody. He is under suspicion for being responsible for the disappearance of quite a few persons. This disturbing entry implies that he partook in murder and cannibalism. Interestingly, the farmer lived on a diet of offal parts especially goat and pig hearts.

As this report is being written, the farmer is placed in a strait jacket as part of a therapy to restore his sanity. There are many, myself included, hoping that the therapy would include physical torture.

Feel free to be entertained. After all, you were the one who came up with it first. That said, I doubt I can complete it by today. It will be part of the Writing Event nonetheless. Here is a continuation from where we left off:

I was dismayed for a while seeing that my scarecrow was replaced with a toilet until I saw a dazzling woman emerge from it. She was as angelic as an angel, as beautiful as a beauty and, as I was to find out, as slutty as a slut. Like all angels, like all beauties and like all sluts, I thought she was there with the solemn goal of delivering me from pain and suffering.

I made my way forwards only to see her shedding off her clothes, alike to an insect moulting. Before I knew it, she became an insect, a cockroach to be precise! Its feelers and its top four legs were flailing aimlessly whilst its two legs propped up its entire body in a very sexually provocative manner. I was as aroused as ever and flung myself on her.



As the cockroach and I were tightly locked in embrace, enjoying the tingling and exhilarating sensation of my skin and her exoskeleton touching each other, I noticed that there were onlookers seeing us getting intimate. I didn't care for I was deep in ecstasy.

I swore that some of the onlookers were rather aroused by what they saw and I believed they are fondling their loins at the sight of me and the cockroach. The onlookers were most likely their neighbours. I have seen them at toilet and they appear not to have any genitals so I thought that that exercise of loin-fondling was pretty pointless.



Those onlookers were so excited by my display of love that they begun foaming out of every pore, cavity, aperture and hole in their bodies, especially their mouths. So eager were they to commemorate this very moment that they set off a rocket into the sky only for to blow up mid-air into a gargantuan plume of smoke that blocked off the rays of the sun. It was an unforgettable sight.



Forgive me for not being modest, but I think I deserved that adulation. I am after all the most virile and sexually appealing person in the village with my large appendage between my legs dwarfing all the others. At one point, my manhood grew so large that it pierced the skies. No woman, cockroach or man can resist my allure as I run around the fields with nary a shred of clothing, my well-built physique for all to see.

https://www.fakku.net/forums/writing-and-fanfiction/halloween-2013-doki-doki-suru

I have been away for quite some time. This is a continuation of my attempt to rewrite high_time's "Doki Doki Suru".

For those who are interested in the contents of the diary in full, here is the entry. Attempts to interpret what happened in actuality are in italics enclosed in spoilers:

The day started with me rinsing my face with sulphuric acid and wiping whatever that splattered on my pants with a chainsaw. While it did much to rouse me, I felt that I needed some exercise before I start my day properly. So, I decided to fling a few sex toys out of my window with all of my might to release the tension built up in my muscles caused by many hours of sleep and at the same time, get rid of that rubbish.



It was then I heard a cry and a dull thud. While I did not mind the commotion that much, I ambled out of my quarters anyway only to see old man (unconscious or dead, I don't know) lying on his back face upwards with my sex toy in his mouth. I supposed that it was my fault though for mindlessly throwing that toy out of the window without minding the consequences. Still, I had to make the best out of this wretched situation. Should I call an ambulance or seek medical help? What an unproductive waste of time and money! His body is better off as a scarecrow!



I was rather pleased at that arrangement. While the scarecrow of my grandfather's body did do its job in scaring the crows, I hoped that it could attract cows that tend to ruin the crops with their stamping and chewing of the crops. Like any farmer, I wish to see the cows copulate with each other and I was certain that they would find the scarecrow arousing. That strangely didn't happen.

What happened instead was a group of humanoids that looked like aliens to me swarming all over that scarecrow. They arrived in strange vehicles that looked like UFOs. After a lot of screaming in their alien language and gesticulating, they took away the scarecrow and erected what looked like a toilet in its place!