My secret life. (slightly long) ----- (old topic as well)
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I guess I have the strangest reason for liking hentai, I was abused all the way through my life all the way up to age 18 (to 16 by women) and I never attached to "real" people, and when I did, They died, or became lesbian ( although i think it was a lie about the lesbo part, but the dead one was dead on, so to speak [I still visit her grave T_T]) I just saw hentai as a "safe" alternative for me, but I have learned one thing about life, you gotta live to the fullest, I'm a freaky geek and I'm proud to say I LOVE HENTAI!! I LOVE HENTAI!! I AM CRAZY! (oops Freudian slip)
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Pretty much 50% geek here. Although it is not a secret, I certainly lead two separate lives, both fully but only half of my time.
Longer wall of text:
Longer wall of text:
Spoiler:
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Waar
FAKKU Moderator
don't get me wrong... i'm not ashamed by my secret life; I quite like the fact that I lead two lives that function and work together in unison, I just feel that if I let others into this secret life; they may not understand (out of ignorance mostly). Call it fear of being outcast or whatever you will. I have a realistic view of how people see things and where i'm going in life, the route i'm taking does not look kindly on my current hobbies. I will eventually make a choice on whether to let someone I love in on my secret life or i will change those things and lose what I once liked; I will evolve and grow. I believe my adaptability is a strength, one I will gladly exploit to get a head in this world. Don't look down on me because I don't live like some of you; because i'm different (not talking to anyone in particular).
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I certainly have a secret life, though it's a lot more out in the open now than it used to be.
Back when I was younger, before going to High School, I hid it away aggressively, since I didn't know anyone other than me who was into anime, other than a few close friends. I slowly became interested in hentai as I moved further and further into the otaku culture, but to thgis day, it is still a fairly well-kept secret that I like it. I tried airing the concept in High School recently(the Danish High School system is different, I am over 18 :p), but it was ridiculed and found gross, so I quickly retreated and hid that side of my life away again.
Though ever since entering high school, I've become more and more open about my geekiness, probably spurred along by the fact that my school has a high-speed wireless internet connection, and that we're allowed to bring laptops :)
Anyway, that's how it is right now, my class just isn't open minded enough to accept stuff as foreign as hentai, I think. I hope it'll change once I enter university.
Back when I was younger, before going to High School, I hid it away aggressively, since I didn't know anyone other than me who was into anime, other than a few close friends. I slowly became interested in hentai as I moved further and further into the otaku culture, but to thgis day, it is still a fairly well-kept secret that I like it. I tried airing the concept in High School recently(the Danish High School system is different, I am over 18 :p), but it was ridiculed and found gross, so I quickly retreated and hid that side of my life away again.
Though ever since entering high school, I've become more and more open about my geekiness, probably spurred along by the fact that my school has a high-speed wireless internet connection, and that we're allowed to bring laptops :)
Anyway, that's how it is right now, my class just isn't open minded enough to accept stuff as foreign as hentai, I think. I hope it'll change once I enter university.
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Waar
FAKKU Moderator
Seph wrote...
I certainly have a secret life, though it's a lot more out in the open now than it used to be. Back when I was younger, before going to High School, I hid it away aggressively, since I didn't know anyone other than me who was into anime, other than a few close friends. I slowly became interested in hentai as I moved further and further into the otaku culture, but to thgis day, it is still a fairly well-kept secret that I like it. I tried airing the concept in High School recently(the Danish High School system is different, I am over 18 :p), but it was ridiculed and found gross, so I quickly retreated and hid that side of my life away again.
Though ever since entering high school, I've become more and more open about my geekiness, probably spurred along by the fact that my school has a high-speed wireless internet connection, and that we're allowed to bring laptops :)
Anyway, that's how it is right now, my class just isn't open minded enough to accept stuff as foreign as hentai, I think. I hope it'll change once I enter university.
I applaud you for trying friend.
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Oh jeez I hate when I let other people on my computer
I am the REAL spacewolfie82 and the post that was left under this thread was my neighbor's (who does not, it seems respect my privacy enough to leave my Firefox alone, I've been gone to the store and checked my e-mail to see this post good grief). I fear I lead a double life too. one of "the good christian man" and one of "secret Hentai watcher. I guess he left the last reply at me but he should have done it differently. in doing so he has disrespected you AND me. I understand your pain and know what its like to lead a double life, and in the USA it's becoming more apparent that hentai is not thought of as a "acceptable" thing. I go to anime stores and they don"t carry it and the Sam Goody (now FYE) carries so little in my city its not even funny. and to top it off it's become a topic of discussion at my church! ( of course they don't know of my secret life, heresy and inviting Satan and all that nonsense) There are more pressing concerns than this and I am always scared my secret will get out and I will be shunned or worse, put away. I AM schizophrenic and this could be something that puts me away in a 'sanitarium' ( or loony bin, your preference) for the rest of my life. I know because I've talked to a professional about it. I know the constant pain of hiding it from friends and thinking "i shouldn't be with these people they are normal and I'm not". But it is a personal choice and if I choose to watch it then so be it! I'm hurting nobody by watching hentai, less can be said of regular porn, or even movies, for that matter. sorry for writing so much and again i'm sorry if my neighbor offended you in any way
I am the REAL spacewolfie82 and the post that was left under this thread was my neighbor's (who does not, it seems respect my privacy enough to leave my Firefox alone, I've been gone to the store and checked my e-mail to see this post good grief). I fear I lead a double life too. one of "the good christian man" and one of "secret Hentai watcher. I guess he left the last reply at me but he should have done it differently. in doing so he has disrespected you AND me. I understand your pain and know what its like to lead a double life, and in the USA it's becoming more apparent that hentai is not thought of as a "acceptable" thing. I go to anime stores and they don"t carry it and the Sam Goody (now FYE) carries so little in my city its not even funny. and to top it off it's become a topic of discussion at my church! ( of course they don't know of my secret life, heresy and inviting Satan and all that nonsense) There are more pressing concerns than this and I am always scared my secret will get out and I will be shunned or worse, put away. I AM schizophrenic and this could be something that puts me away in a 'sanitarium' ( or loony bin, your preference) for the rest of my life. I know because I've talked to a professional about it. I know the constant pain of hiding it from friends and thinking "i shouldn't be with these people they are normal and I'm not". But it is a personal choice and if I choose to watch it then so be it! I'm hurting nobody by watching hentai, less can be said of regular porn, or even movies, for that matter. sorry for writing so much and again i'm sorry if my neighbor offended you in any way
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Waar
FAKKU Moderator
spacewolfie82 wrote...
Oh jeez I hate when I let other people on my computerI am the REAL spacewolfie82 and the post that was left under this thread was my neighbor's (who does not, it seems respect my privacy enough to leave my Firefox alone, I've been gone to the store and checked my e-mail to see this post good grief). I fear I lead a double life too. one of "the good christian man" and one of "secret Hentai watcher. I guess he left the last reply at me but he should have done it differently. in doing so he has disrespected you AND me. I understand your pain and know what its like to lead a double life, and in the USA it's becoming more apparent that hentai is not thought of as a "acceptable" thing. I go to anime stores and they don"t carry it and the Sam Goody (now FYE) carries so little in my city its not even funny. and to top it off it's become a topic of discussion at my church! ( of course they don't know of my secret life, heresy and inviting Satan and all that nonsense) There are more pressing concerns than this and I am always scared my secret will get out and I will be shunned or worse, put away. I AM schizophrenic and this could be something that puts me away in a 'sanitarium' ( or loony bin, your preference) for the rest of my life. I know because I've talked to a professional about it. I know the constant pain of hiding it from friends and thinking "i shouldn't be with these people they are normal and I'm not". But it is a personal choice and if I choose to watch it then so be it! I'm hurting nobody by watching hentai, less can be said of regular porn, or even movies, for that matter. sorry for writing so much and again i'm sorry if my neighbor offended you in any way
I wasn't offended in any way, and tbh i thought it was a pretty straight forward response. I do believe you should turn your computer off if you want to preserve that "good Christian" image... it might not be your neighbor next time.
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Aion Crux
Banned
nice topic.
i'll reveal some of my secrets later (a lot of Dark Past occurs in my previous age)
i'll reveal some of my secrets later (a lot of Dark Past occurs in my previous age)
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I've been like Mattarat. A blatant nerd, and very proud of this fact. My friends all know about me and my super geekyness. I have friends who aren't in to any of the niche things I love [computers, anime, certain genres of music, Japan-faggotry], but we still get on well on common subjects like movies etc.
Probably most people just have problems in their school life, where you are forced to socialise in certain groups. I think living two lives and constantly holding in something as a secret would be depressing and stressful from me.
Probably most people just have problems in their school life, where you are forced to socialise in certain groups. I think living two lives and constantly holding in something as a secret would be depressing and stressful from me.
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I've grew up pretty normally, I seemed to have been born with a Video Game Controller in my hand, as I like to think, most people I know know most of my weird habits though the Hentai thing is kinda in the closet in my real life. I've had steady work since I was 14 great friends, tough since college I've fallen out with a lot of them. But yeah besides my Closet habit of "roughing up the usual suspect" to hentai I'm pretty much an open book.
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hmm well idk if id call myself a geek persay. prolly more accurate description would be that im a gamer. like i frankly dont know shit about comps but i play games alot. as for the hentai thing the topic just never came up with my friends. not in that way at least. i mean we have had laughs about some of it(we have also completely ruined one of our groups innocents cause he never knew about the extreme shit till we came around). as for my parents...i dont know if my father knows but it doesnt really matter. if he found out he would prolly do one of those "you like that stuff?" things when he did then let the matter drop. my mother on the other hand found out by accident a long time ago when i was younger and didnt know how to hide my tracks(i wasnt 18 at the time and i had to use my parents comp). she tried to get all "omg thats disgusting" on me but i just told her that if i was gonna get in trouble for looking at porn fine but that i never questioned her about what her likes were. she shut up after that. still got grounded tho.
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A few of my friends are into hentai and I think one of them is a member here(never gave me the username). I was also a closet nerd, but I always kept being social with my the people around me. Although I have to admit, i'm afraid of what people will think about me once they find out about my secret life. But only Hentai is what I keep secret about. Others only know me as "The guy who loves Anime, Games and Mangas too much".
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i noticed the bump up as i was going through waar, sorry i didnt get to posting sooner. seems like i might be the only fucked up kid here... here goes.
lived inbetween parents apartments untill around 4 or 5... then one day my dad up and left his place without even saying a word to us, we ended up finding out a couple days later when his apartment was deserted. i had a fucked up mental condition called sleep paralysis where everytime i would reach the brink of sleep, my body would become paralyzed and a shadowed figure would advance upon me untill it touched me, making me fall asleep. i would then proceed to have nightmares about that certain shadowed figure killing my family, killing or torturing me... it was fucked up.
ive had one girlfriend my entire life, and with that one woman our romantic involvement spanned three seperate relationships. i was the silent kid during earlier grade school and developed into a goth. i dont match any real generic stereotype now except for geek, mostly because games and anime are the hobbies that engulf my life most.
its because of these circumstances that outside of my hobbies and/or work im not a very social person, havent really made a friend outside of the old crew from school. in fact, school is the primary contributor of my social interactions and my group of my buds. the computer and television have been the best of friends since the beginning and i guess i havent had to keep it closeted from anybody. and as for hentai... a bunch of my close friends know about it, the only time it gets brought up is when were making fun of each other =p but i never intend to tell my mother or father about my sexual interests. my moms a very opinionated person who would probably question the hell out of the subject, it would just end up in an embarassing quiz. step dad wouldnt give a shit i would think, he checks my internet history anyways so... hes probably just not saying anything.
sorry for the rant.
lived inbetween parents apartments untill around 4 or 5... then one day my dad up and left his place without even saying a word to us, we ended up finding out a couple days later when his apartment was deserted. i had a fucked up mental condition called sleep paralysis where everytime i would reach the brink of sleep, my body would become paralyzed and a shadowed figure would advance upon me untill it touched me, making me fall asleep. i would then proceed to have nightmares about that certain shadowed figure killing my family, killing or torturing me... it was fucked up.
ive had one girlfriend my entire life, and with that one woman our romantic involvement spanned three seperate relationships. i was the silent kid during earlier grade school and developed into a goth. i dont match any real generic stereotype now except for geek, mostly because games and anime are the hobbies that engulf my life most.
its because of these circumstances that outside of my hobbies and/or work im not a very social person, havent really made a friend outside of the old crew from school. in fact, school is the primary contributor of my social interactions and my group of my buds. the computer and television have been the best of friends since the beginning and i guess i havent had to keep it closeted from anybody. and as for hentai... a bunch of my close friends know about it, the only time it gets brought up is when were making fun of each other =p but i never intend to tell my mother or father about my sexual interests. my moms a very opinionated person who would probably question the hell out of the subject, it would just end up in an embarassing quiz. step dad wouldnt give a shit i would think, he checks my internet history anyways so... hes probably just not saying anything.
sorry for the rant.
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(( NOTICE! Honestly, didn't read through this thread to save meh, most apologies
-mine love. Did, indeed, read the first post. Thus, mine response. ))
Never really understood the means of a closet computer love. Mean, never really was much of a social person when Eshi was younger... Through-out grade school was enabled to fuck with people's head et make them think that was very good person... on some level. Twas axially really nuh a nice, et very unstable person in grade school. When hit High School was nice little outspoken place where found myself, over time, hidden from others to observe non more. Didn't really want to hurt anyone, et felt if made myself known that may get the urge of fucking with someone's simple emotions. Although, the difference from grade school et high school was that Eshi wasn't moving around anymore.. sew, couldn't run away from them when they figured that little manipulation out (born into airforce military household, where we moved between the school year within that year et/or two years... always. until, after my mother divorced my step father et left the military before being deported to war, literally... that's the long story short) --
Anyways! When was in High School never really was "Normal" et non one ever thought it either. Everyone never really noticed meh. Which, for meh at least, felt nice to not beh noticed surrounded by a school. Gave meh time to work on school et get things that was importance complete. While people talked when the bell rang for class, waited until it rang et walked like a ghost through them -the first in class, under a minute.
Will admit mine life for the longest time was just the internet. Axially, admit, meet most mine good friends online -when include mine fiancè. Which, never thought it would become as serious as ish now. Le Sighs, notice the porblems having. Hah! (always gave myself the notice to know, aswell others, that anything online ish far from being truth -or atleast there ish a limit, even forums.)
Anyways! Mine point ish.. that Internet, for the longest time (admit never really changed since age of eight, more serious activity started at twelve), even now has been mine own little Private Life.. only because was little Outcast most mine life in real life. Only basis of genre giving meh grief ish the little bastards that noticed meh occasional through grade school et high school that had this obsessive nature. Le Sighs! Even, mine beloved ish most obsessed with meh, gives meh a wonder in what they see in this little tormentor, whom loves evermost, buh can give sew much grief of the wishful curse in them all along. Le Sighs!
Feelings ish, atleast online can't ruin anyone's life. Mean, non going to admit the occasional search for someone then fuck with their head just for the joy of it all, buh that's another story. I've always felt that Online atleast have mine own personal surrounding.. never really had a perfect or social life outside of mine own surrounding.
Sounds sad? Non really, have friends who I admit mine wrongs in this world, love them to death.. always have said that those put in Eshi heart will never beh torn from mine wretch means. Don't feel nice/good person, buh they say differently. Can beh really mean, buh that usually consist when really manic/unstable et over the years you tend to find function in this world... Sew, non you won't hear anything about meh taring into someone's flesh for the pleasure of the feeling of their blood or something weird et horrific.. Non murder, et non that mean/manipulating of a person, as Eshi twas years back...
Donna, guess those that have different outlook on life, aswell their level of understanding, seem to beh drawn to such a method of life/reality. Buh, can't say that don't co-exist in life, have more outside of High School than in grade/high school, you know? Atleast Eshi co-exist rather than linger in the shadows, right? Still, the little weird girl that while she has to beh up for work in a few hours ish wandering the dark streets out of sanity in the mist of the midnight/morning. Tehehehe, buh just have mine own kinks in life.
Non Normal in the reality most people are sociable. Buh, here I can beh "Eshi" et/or various alias have over time, et still use for roleplay, forums, various other sites. Still find it curious that you hide yourself from the social world, should I say you hide your interactions online from the social world. For meh, for those I trust, they know -include of family in the quiver of the fumble open thrive of mine being Ecchi Girly Online (yesh, mine mother et brother, aswell friends/lovers knows of mine porn freak genre) Everyone that trust of Eshi, knows of mine various activity online et gaming.. Ish non secret because part of Eshi. Why Hide it?
-mine love. Did, indeed, read the first post. Thus, mine response. ))
Never really understood the means of a closet computer love. Mean, never really was much of a social person when Eshi was younger... Through-out grade school was enabled to fuck with people's head et make them think that was very good person... on some level. Twas axially really nuh a nice, et very unstable person in grade school. When hit High School was nice little outspoken place where found myself, over time, hidden from others to observe non more. Didn't really want to hurt anyone, et felt if made myself known that may get the urge of fucking with someone's simple emotions. Although, the difference from grade school et high school was that Eshi wasn't moving around anymore.. sew, couldn't run away from them when they figured that little manipulation out (born into airforce military household, where we moved between the school year within that year et/or two years... always. until, after my mother divorced my step father et left the military before being deported to war, literally... that's the long story short) --
Anyways! When was in High School never really was "Normal" et non one ever thought it either. Everyone never really noticed meh. Which, for meh at least, felt nice to not beh noticed surrounded by a school. Gave meh time to work on school et get things that was importance complete. While people talked when the bell rang for class, waited until it rang et walked like a ghost through them -the first in class, under a minute.
Will admit mine life for the longest time was just the internet. Axially, admit, meet most mine good friends online -when include mine fiancè. Which, never thought it would become as serious as ish now. Le Sighs, notice the porblems having. Hah! (always gave myself the notice to know, aswell others, that anything online ish far from being truth -or atleast there ish a limit, even forums.)
Anyways! Mine point ish.. that Internet, for the longest time (admit never really changed since age of eight, more serious activity started at twelve), even now has been mine own little Private Life.. only because was little Outcast most mine life in real life. Only basis of genre giving meh grief ish the little bastards that noticed meh occasional through grade school et high school that had this obsessive nature. Le Sighs! Even, mine beloved ish most obsessed with meh, gives meh a wonder in what they see in this little tormentor, whom loves evermost, buh can give sew much grief of the wishful curse in them all along. Le Sighs!
Feelings ish, atleast online can't ruin anyone's life. Mean, non going to admit the occasional search for someone then fuck with their head just for the joy of it all, buh that's another story. I've always felt that Online atleast have mine own personal surrounding.. never really had a perfect or social life outside of mine own surrounding.
Sounds sad? Non really, have friends who I admit mine wrongs in this world, love them to death.. always have said that those put in Eshi heart will never beh torn from mine wretch means. Don't feel nice/good person, buh they say differently. Can beh really mean, buh that usually consist when really manic/unstable et over the years you tend to find function in this world... Sew, non you won't hear anything about meh taring into someone's flesh for the pleasure of the feeling of their blood or something weird et horrific.. Non murder, et non that mean/manipulating of a person, as Eshi twas years back...
Donna, guess those that have different outlook on life, aswell their level of understanding, seem to beh drawn to such a method of life/reality. Buh, can't say that don't co-exist in life, have more outside of High School than in grade/high school, you know? Atleast Eshi co-exist rather than linger in the shadows, right? Still, the little weird girl that while she has to beh up for work in a few hours ish wandering the dark streets out of sanity in the mist of the midnight/morning. Tehehehe, buh just have mine own kinks in life.
Non Normal in the reality most people are sociable. Buh, here I can beh "Eshi" et/or various alias have over time, et still use for roleplay, forums, various other sites. Still find it curious that you hide yourself from the social world, should I say you hide your interactions online from the social world. For meh, for those I trust, they know -include of family in the quiver of the fumble open thrive of mine being Ecchi Girly Online (yesh, mine mother et brother, aswell friends/lovers knows of mine porn freak genre) Everyone that trust of Eshi, knows of mine various activity online et gaming.. Ish non secret because part of Eshi. Why Hide it?
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Waar
FAKKU Moderator
I won't judge anyone else's life Raga, thanks for sharing; same to the rest of you. It's nice that we can talk about our real lives; I feel telling people here about some things is much safer then telling the people in my real life... So i guess my dilemma is which one is the real life? lol
MELODRAMA, I'm pretty happy with the way things are now, soon as I find a girl willing to put up with my shit for longer than a month or two ill be on cloud nine.
MELODRAMA, I'm pretty happy with the way things are now, soon as I find a girl willing to put up with my shit for longer than a month or two ill be on cloud nine.
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ragakitty wrote...
(( NOTICE! Honestly, didn't read through this thread to save meh, most apologies
-mine love. Did, indeed, read the first post. Thus, mine response. ))
Never really understood the means of a closet computer love. Mean, never really was much of a social person when Eshi was younger... Through-out grade school was enabled to fuck with people's head et make them think that was very good person... on some level. Twas axially really nuh a nice, et very unstable person in grade school. When hit High School was nice little outspoken place where found myself, over time, hidden from others to observe non more. Didn't really want to hurt anyone, et felt if made myself known that may get the urge of fucking with someone's simple emotions. Although, the difference from grade school et high school was that Eshi wasn't moving around anymore.. sew, couldn't run away from them when they figured that little manipulation out (born into airforce military household, where we moved between the school year within that year et/or two years... always. until, after my mother divorced my step father et left the military before being deported to war, literally... that's the long story short) --
Anyways! When was in High School never really was "Normal" et non one ever thought it either. Everyone never really noticed meh. Which, for meh at least, felt nice to not beh noticed surrounded by a school. Gave meh time to work on school et get things that was importance complete. While people talked when the bell rang for class, waited until it rang et walked like a ghost through them -the first in class, under a minute.
Will admit mine life for the longest time was just the internet. Axially, admit, meet most mine good friends online -when include mine fiancè. Which, never thought it would become as serious as ish now. Le Sighs, notice the porblems having. Hah! (always gave myself the notice to know, aswell others, that anything online ish far from being truth -or atleast there ish a limit, even forums.)
Anyways! Mine point ish.. that Internet, for the longest time (admit never really changed since age of eight, more serious activity started at twelve), even now has been mine own little Private Life.. only because was little Outcast most mine life in real life. Only basis of genre giving meh grief ish the little bastards that noticed meh occasional through grade school et high school that had this obsessive nature. Le Sighs! Even, mine beloved ish most obsessed with meh, gives meh a wonder in what they see in this little tormentor, whom loves evermost, buh can give sew much grief of the wishful curse in them all along. Le Sighs!
Feelings ish, atleast online can't ruin anyone's life. Mean, non going to admit the occasional search for someone then fuck with their head just for the joy of it all, buh that's another story. I've always felt that Online atleast have mine own personal surrounding.. never really had a perfect or social life outside of mine own surrounding.
Sounds sad? Non really, have friends who I admit mine wrongs in this world, love them to death.. always have said that those put in Eshi heart will never beh torn from mine wretch means. Don't feel nice/good person, buh they say differently. Can beh really mean, buh that usually consist when really manic/unstable et over the years you tend to find function in this world... Sew, non you won't hear anything about meh taring into someone's flesh for the pleasure of the feeling of their blood or something weird et horrific.. Non murder, et non that mean/manipulating of a person, as Eshi twas years back...
Donna, guess those that have different outlook on life, aswell their level of understanding, seem to beh drawn to such a method of life/reality. Buh, can't say that don't co-exist in life, have more outside of High School than in grade/high school, you know? Atleast Eshi co-exist rather than linger in the shadows, right? Still, the little weird girl that while she has to beh up for work in a few hours ish wandering the dark streets out of sanity in the mist of the midnight/morning. Tehehehe, buh just have mine own kinks in life.
Non Normal in the reality most people are sociable. Buh, here I can beh "Eshi" et/or various alias have over time, et still use for roleplay, forums, various other sites. Still find it curious that you hide yourself from the social world, should I say you hide your interactions online from the social world. For meh, for those I trust, they know -include of family in the quiver of the fumble open thrive of mine being Ecchi Girly Online (yesh, mine mother et brother, aswell friends/lovers knows of mine porn freak genre) Everyone that trust of Eshi, knows of mine various activity online et gaming.. Ish non secret because part of Eshi. Why Hide it?
-mine love. Did, indeed, read the first post. Thus, mine response. ))
Never really understood the means of a closet computer love. Mean, never really was much of a social person when Eshi was younger... Through-out grade school was enabled to fuck with people's head et make them think that was very good person... on some level. Twas axially really nuh a nice, et very unstable person in grade school. When hit High School was nice little outspoken place where found myself, over time, hidden from others to observe non more. Didn't really want to hurt anyone, et felt if made myself known that may get the urge of fucking with someone's simple emotions. Although, the difference from grade school et high school was that Eshi wasn't moving around anymore.. sew, couldn't run away from them when they figured that little manipulation out (born into airforce military household, where we moved between the school year within that year et/or two years... always. until, after my mother divorced my step father et left the military before being deported to war, literally... that's the long story short) --
Anyways! When was in High School never really was "Normal" et non one ever thought it either. Everyone never really noticed meh. Which, for meh at least, felt nice to not beh noticed surrounded by a school. Gave meh time to work on school et get things that was importance complete. While people talked when the bell rang for class, waited until it rang et walked like a ghost through them -the first in class, under a minute.
Will admit mine life for the longest time was just the internet. Axially, admit, meet most mine good friends online -when include mine fiancè. Which, never thought it would become as serious as ish now. Le Sighs, notice the porblems having. Hah! (always gave myself the notice to know, aswell others, that anything online ish far from being truth -or atleast there ish a limit, even forums.)
Anyways! Mine point ish.. that Internet, for the longest time (admit never really changed since age of eight, more serious activity started at twelve), even now has been mine own little Private Life.. only because was little Outcast most mine life in real life. Only basis of genre giving meh grief ish the little bastards that noticed meh occasional through grade school et high school that had this obsessive nature. Le Sighs! Even, mine beloved ish most obsessed with meh, gives meh a wonder in what they see in this little tormentor, whom loves evermost, buh can give sew much grief of the wishful curse in them all along. Le Sighs!
Feelings ish, atleast online can't ruin anyone's life. Mean, non going to admit the occasional search for someone then fuck with their head just for the joy of it all, buh that's another story. I've always felt that Online atleast have mine own personal surrounding.. never really had a perfect or social life outside of mine own surrounding.
Sounds sad? Non really, have friends who I admit mine wrongs in this world, love them to death.. always have said that those put in Eshi heart will never beh torn from mine wretch means. Don't feel nice/good person, buh they say differently. Can beh really mean, buh that usually consist when really manic/unstable et over the years you tend to find function in this world... Sew, non you won't hear anything about meh taring into someone's flesh for the pleasure of the feeling of their blood or something weird et horrific.. Non murder, et non that mean/manipulating of a person, as Eshi twas years back...
Donna, guess those that have different outlook on life, aswell their level of understanding, seem to beh drawn to such a method of life/reality. Buh, can't say that don't co-exist in life, have more outside of High School than in grade/high school, you know? Atleast Eshi co-exist rather than linger in the shadows, right? Still, the little weird girl that while she has to beh up for work in a few hours ish wandering the dark streets out of sanity in the mist of the midnight/morning. Tehehehe, buh just have mine own kinks in life.
Non Normal in the reality most people are sociable. Buh, here I can beh "Eshi" et/or various alias have over time, et still use for roleplay, forums, various other sites. Still find it curious that you hide yourself from the social world, should I say you hide your interactions online from the social world. For meh, for those I trust, they know -include of family in the quiver of the fumble open thrive of mine being Ecchi Girly Online (yesh, mine mother et brother, aswell friends/lovers knows of mine porn freak genre) Everyone that trust of Eshi, knows of mine various activity online et gaming.. Ish non secret because part of Eshi. Why Hide it?
Translator, plz. :shock:
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i thought a lot of people lead more than one life, that goes the same for me, of course i love hentai, anime and stuff like that, but like many others, i'm also shy and embarrassed to share those interests which would be consider "weird and nerdy" by the general public.
high school was a fun experience for me though, i joined the anime club and met a lot of people who dig it as i do. Hentai is a completely different story based on the way it's presented as both sexually mature subjects and childish fantasies. Many of my friend describes it as disgusting and sick, though i could argue otherwise but then i would also be put in a category of "sick" people and possibly destroy the image of myself as a healthy teenager i tried to so hard to build. Peer pressure in your social life and personal circumstances can be truly scary sometimes.
of course in the beginning, we were all alone, but then we found fakku and those who share the common interest without shame for liking hentai. i think that we should all be glad.
high school was a fun experience for me though, i joined the anime club and met a lot of people who dig it as i do. Hentai is a completely different story based on the way it's presented as both sexually mature subjects and childish fantasies. Many of my friend describes it as disgusting and sick, though i could argue otherwise but then i would also be put in a category of "sick" people and possibly destroy the image of myself as a healthy teenager i tried to so hard to build. Peer pressure in your social life and personal circumstances can be truly scary sometimes.
of course in the beginning, we were all alone, but then we found fakku and those who share the common interest without shame for liking hentai. i think that we should all be glad.