mrpokeylope wrote...
Ok, let's see, how do I put this delicately...
I'd like to talk about a good friend of mine. For now, let's just call her M. I first met her a bit under a year ago. After one date that didn't work out all too well, we decided we were better off as friends. I still don't know all the details of her personal history, but the bits and pieces I have learned make it a bit difficult for me to respond civilly to people bashing feminism. In case it matters, I'm a guy.
M had a fairly standard midwestern small-town upbringing. She was the purity ring wearing, wait-until-marriage churchgoing good girl - you know the type. Then, when she was fourteen, the guy who gave her that purity ring changed his mind and raped her on a church retreat. The church knew about this. The church didn't care about this.
That by itself would have been bad enough. By the time I met her, she was in her early 20's and had experienced this six times at the hands of six different people, which has left her with one of the worst cases of PTSD that I've ever heard of, never mind actually encountered. Now, odds are pretty good that the first thought you had when you read that last sentence was "What the hell was she doing that let this happen six times?" And therein lies the problem.
Let's change the crime, just for the sake of a thought experiment. Let's say that instead of rape, we're talking about assault and battery. If I said that on six separate occasions she had been beaten so badly that she had to spend a week in the hospital, and that she still has a hard time walking around, would your first thought still be judgment about what she was doing when it happened? Would you still ask what she was wearing at the time, and assume that she had somehow provoked her attackers? Or would your first reaction be sympathy towards the victim of a violent crime?
Thought so.
Getting raped or assaulted six times by six different people in six separate occasions all in 10 years or less sounds a bit farfetched, but lets suppose its true. I would question how one gets themselves into the same situation time and time again regardless of if its rape or assault and battery. I think most people would learn the lesson after just the first time. Don't get into a situation where those are the outcomes.
Now, here's the thing - the logic that blames victims for rape is rooted in the same culture that sees women as objects. It's where we get supreme court decisions that say a corporation's judgment about a woman's body trumps hers. It's where we get Elliot Rodgers - and, to use a less extreme example, all the "nice guys" of the world who think of women as coin-op machines where you can put attention in and get sex out. Its where we see cases like Steubenville, where a passed out girl being gang raped at a party becomes a community joke - and when the perpetrators are given an incredibly light sentence, the media coverage focuses on how promising they were and how tragic it is that their lives are going to be ruined. It's where a man can be praised for having numerous sexual partners, and a woman condemned for the same.
Curious by what you are talking about with the corporation comment. As for the rest there are bad people in the world but that does not mean that people in general are bad.
I am a feminist because if I ever have a daughter - no, let me rephrase that. I'm a feminist because that's not a world anyone should have to grow up in.
You make it sound like we don't live in a good world. While it still needs some work its come quite a ways since even just a 100 years ago. However lets also realize that the world will never be perfect.