Spanking kids cause long term harm?
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Pfil the Fairy wrote...
pspkiller626 wrote...
When I was spanked (or any other form of physical punishment), I was always told why I was spanked, and made to apologize or make amends with whoever I had offended. Only then was I spanked. And my parents only spanked me when I did something REALLY stupid like stealing money from my mother's account, half-killing my best friend or when I broke my violin on my knee simply because I thought it was fun to do so. I've become a much better person for that, and I thank my parents for caring about me. I don't know what I may have become if they tried to use words on me (as I hate lecturing I never listen). Neither do I know whether spanking will work for everyone, but I do know it worked for me and that's it.
It's very nice that you've shared your own experiences. I talked with my mother today about her physical punishments she gave me and she gave me a little spank every now and then when I was very, very young. I think that was drowned out by my father's obviously abusive behavior.
I thought very hard about the act of spanking and I almost want to say that it's okay if the pain is extremely minimal and if the child is young enough not to remember. I am not sure though. See, I am boggled about what to do if a child is incapable of listening to reason simply because of his/her stage in brain development but also in your case, pspkiller, when a child seems to want to push boundaries or cannot listen to reason at an older age than 2 for whatever reason. I fully believe in omission training and time out, my kids are going to have things taken away harshly because that's how reality is, you do something bad, you get things taken away. But for the stage where that simply doesn't register, I'm not sure what is appropriate.
I definitely agree that spanking isn't necessary for all kids but I am curious to see what an alternate to that could be that a 2 year old or someone who otherwise is incapable of reasoning (and I use that in extreme situations, I think children are a lot more reasonable than we give them credit for) could benefit from.
According to what I learned from my mother, I was first given a spanking when I was 6. But before that, I was made to keep my arms straight over my head for 30 minutes (generally speaking) while listening to my mother's lecturing. I would struggle under the pain and try not to listen to my mother's words but afterwards I often noticed that my mother's words just seeped into me without my knowing.
Once again, I have to stress the point that spanking is not the point; making your child understand his wrongdoing is the real point. I'm all for physical punishment if it makes your child understand but if not, I don't see why I should hurt a child no matter how lightly. And making a child understand his wrongdoings is no easy task; stages of mentality, his opinion and feelings must be taken into account. Never did my mother spank me without listening first to what I had to say.
Perhaps a good way to educate your children would be to become/introduce a role model. Children always love to imitate their role models and trust me, if Superman did not hurt children or push around his buddies, then millions of children did not do it either. Or maybe religion? I don't know whether you are a religious man or not, but religion can have a profound impact upon your children. Christianity promotes peace with your neighbors and such, and while a child may not absorb it immediately, they will one day recall upon the words they heard and will act accordingly. THE most important thing is to NEVER EVER give up on your child when it seems that he will not listen.
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Gravity cat
the adequately amused
I was spanked as a kid. As painful as it was and as much as I cried, I did actually benefit from it; I learned self-control and discipline, and it's prevented me from turning into a total cunt.
The trade-off is I'm shy as hell, although that was caused by a multitude of things, not just the spanking on its own.
The trade-off is I'm shy as hell, although that was caused by a multitude of things, not just the spanking on its own.
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Man even say what and Pfil are kind of convincing me that it may not be absolutely required to use punishment...
Maybe it should be used only as a last ditch effort if a said child was given PLENTY of chances to behave on their on...
How about this instead?
Maybe it should be used only as a last ditch effort if a said child was given PLENTY of chances to behave on their on...
How about this instead?
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BlackShogunFox wrote...
Man even say what and Pfil are kind of convincing me that it may not be absolutely required to use punishment...Maybe it should be used only as a last ditch effort if a said child was given PLENTY of chances to behave on their on...
How about this instead?
thank you
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Last ditch effort I agree with but last ditch means different things to different people here. I don't want my kids to fear me for a second, I want them to imitate and look up to me as a positive role model like psp said; I want to indulge in every possible preventative measure before I think about physical punishment.
It really sucks how humans develop. We're such malleable, delicate, unintelligent little things when we're very young. It's hard to be creative enough to find ways of raising our offspring in the best possible way when we know so little about what is truly humane or true to our nature.
I don't want to deny the potential benefits of using spanking as a last resort but I feel like there are other options than could be used as a last resort but I don't know what they are. And are those possible options better?
Also....why does it have to be the butt?
Edit: Being spanked on the butt always disturbed me more than it hurt O.O How did butt-spanking develop it's so out of left field for me as to why that's so widely accepted. Slaps on the hands is much better. I don't do anything bad with my butt!
It really sucks how humans develop. We're such malleable, delicate, unintelligent little things when we're very young. It's hard to be creative enough to find ways of raising our offspring in the best possible way when we know so little about what is truly humane or true to our nature.
I don't want to deny the potential benefits of using spanking as a last resort but I feel like there are other options than could be used as a last resort but I don't know what they are. And are those possible options better?
Also....why does it have to be the butt?
Edit: Being spanked on the butt always disturbed me more than it hurt O.O How did butt-spanking develop it's so out of left field for me as to why that's so widely accepted. Slaps on the hands is much better. I don't do anything bad with my butt!
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Hmm...Pfil I think more along the lines of spanking the childs hand.
You know enough too get the message across that you dun goofed up not the you stole my wallet beatdown lol...
You know enough too get the message across that you dun goofed up not the you stole my wallet beatdown lol...
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devsonfire
3,000,000th Poster
Everything has its limit.
I was taught by my parents the asian way, well, as you can see, I am normal now, nothing's wrong, just a normal human being.
I can't see why parents shouldn't spank their children if they are misbehaving very badly.
Cause if they don't do that, by the time they are teenager, I'm certain they will be annoying motherfuckers who does not respect anyone in the community.
That's how I see it at least..
I was taught by my parents the asian way, well, as you can see, I am normal now, nothing's wrong, just a normal human being.
I can't see why parents shouldn't spank their children if they are misbehaving very badly.
Cause if they don't do that, by the time they are teenager, I'm certain they will be annoying motherfuckers who does not respect anyone in the community.
That's how I see it at least..
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Gravity cat
the adequately amused
the devils are on fire wrote...
Everything has its limit.I was taught by my parents the asian way, well, as you can see, I am normal now, nothing's wrong, just a normal human being.
I can't see why parents shouldn't spank their children if they are misbehaving very badly.
Cause if they don't do that, by the time they are teenager, I'm certain they will be annoying motherfuckers who does not respect anyone in the community.
That's how I see it at least..
That's most of Facebook then.
It feels like that, since the spanking ban, teenagers have gone seriously downhill.
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devsonfire
3,000,000th Poster
Gravity cat wrote...
the devils are on fire wrote...
Everything has its limit.I was taught by my parents the asian way, well, as you can see, I am normal now, nothing's wrong, just a normal human being.
I can't see why parents shouldn't spank their children if they are misbehaving very badly.
Cause if they don't do that, by the time they are teenager, I'm certain they will be annoying motherfuckers who does not respect anyone in the community.
That's how I see it at least..
That's most of Facebook then.
It feels like that, since the spanking ban, teenagers have gone seriously downhill.
True that, too much kids acting smart and shit..
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seriously look at society, the reason why our kids and majority of our screwed up young population is NOT because of spanking but because there's lack of discipline! So spanking aside, if you don't discipline your children well then of course the results aren't in your favor. However, the reason why I think there should be spanking (with hand/ruler only, i mean come on it only stings, better than getting bitten by an animal) is because people have the great idea of giving kids independence. Not all kids learn to be independent and the result of it today is, its a bad method. Depending on how the family is as a whole. I think usually if the family is brought up well there def wudn't need to be spanking. However, there's still the risk that the child may not end up a good person. OH WELL rite? But I digress.
I think people have too much freedom to do whatever they want, they argue for their own rights. When people argue what is good and bad for people, the victims call themselves victims with rights being taken away. It's an endless circle.
Thus, if parents can't spank their kids and if spanking is unlawful, parents have no control over their kids. Can you think of 50 bright ideas on how to control brats? Instead of complaining about spanking, go try babysitting 4-5 brats. Even 1 or 2 is bad enough. Our young children are learning to cuss/smoke/do drugs/and have sexual activities at an earlier age than usual. How can we NOT spank our kids.
Now we have people complaining that smacking a kid's ass is violent and abusive. BULLSHIT.
And the reports about kids losing IQ and being antisocial and aggressive (now that is contradictory and ironic). That is true in some cases, but spanking is the real reason why kids are antisocial or have low IQ. Spanking is the bottom of the list for the reasons why humans today are dumbasses and may have depression/other 'mental' issues.
As an asian, yes, in a way its like being taught fear, but fear is needed or a kid isn't going to obey the parents. Some kids are just stubborn or don't have the processing on doing right and wrong unless the parents steer them the right way. There's a diff b/w punishing a kid for making a mistake and then standing there letting the kid make the mistake and tell them what they did is wrong. You think kids are just Going to be mature like you hope them to be and do the right thing? hard to say. Some kids are very mature. But that's the thing, not all kids are bright and not all kids are well, i shudn't say dumb but u know what i mean.
My parents have been pinched and spanked till they got bruises (green/brown/purple) and they are def better than lazy sandbags in southern US states who are mooching off of taxpayers money cuz their disability is depression and shit and all they do is sit on their porches and do absolutely nothing. My parents came to this country with almost nothing and became very successful and they're normal people.
Heck look at our own previous generations when there is spanking. And i know this sounds like bullshit but people are either born ignorant and grow smarter later or they are born to have a brain that develops normally or a bit faster. If you just use words, while it may be the right thing to do, they can still make mistakes. I'm grateful to my parents because they took the trouble and they also take the pains to spank me. its hurtful to loving parents to play the role of being the devil to the child, but its all for the sake of long term.
and if you can't admit that our kids are going downhill then you need to really see how other kids are, or maybe you have yet to see it. cuz its everywhere. We're not disciplining our kids enough, (not saying we're not spanking enough). I'd go for moderate spanking because I don't want to traumatize the kid, but i sure as hell wasn't traumatized. I grew up to fight against my dad in arguments but i learn to keep negative feelings to myself due to various lonely factors as a non-white. and I rly care for others and I'm def not antisocial, or have low IQ, or am too aggressive. These studies on spanking are just ridiculous. Plus its not like you survey parents, will they just willingly tell u they spank? Some parents nowadays cud be afraid of saying such things because it'd make them look bad in a way.
I think people have too much freedom to do whatever they want, they argue for their own rights. When people argue what is good and bad for people, the victims call themselves victims with rights being taken away. It's an endless circle.
Thus, if parents can't spank their kids and if spanking is unlawful, parents have no control over their kids. Can you think of 50 bright ideas on how to control brats? Instead of complaining about spanking, go try babysitting 4-5 brats. Even 1 or 2 is bad enough. Our young children are learning to cuss/smoke/do drugs/and have sexual activities at an earlier age than usual. How can we NOT spank our kids.
Now we have people complaining that smacking a kid's ass is violent and abusive. BULLSHIT.
And the reports about kids losing IQ and being antisocial and aggressive (now that is contradictory and ironic). That is true in some cases, but spanking is the real reason why kids are antisocial or have low IQ. Spanking is the bottom of the list for the reasons why humans today are dumbasses and may have depression/other 'mental' issues.
As an asian, yes, in a way its like being taught fear, but fear is needed or a kid isn't going to obey the parents. Some kids are just stubborn or don't have the processing on doing right and wrong unless the parents steer them the right way. There's a diff b/w punishing a kid for making a mistake and then standing there letting the kid make the mistake and tell them what they did is wrong. You think kids are just Going to be mature like you hope them to be and do the right thing? hard to say. Some kids are very mature. But that's the thing, not all kids are bright and not all kids are well, i shudn't say dumb but u know what i mean.
My parents have been pinched and spanked till they got bruises (green/brown/purple) and they are def better than lazy sandbags in southern US states who are mooching off of taxpayers money cuz their disability is depression and shit and all they do is sit on their porches and do absolutely nothing. My parents came to this country with almost nothing and became very successful and they're normal people.
Heck look at our own previous generations when there is spanking. And i know this sounds like bullshit but people are either born ignorant and grow smarter later or they are born to have a brain that develops normally or a bit faster. If you just use words, while it may be the right thing to do, they can still make mistakes. I'm grateful to my parents because they took the trouble and they also take the pains to spank me. its hurtful to loving parents to play the role of being the devil to the child, but its all for the sake of long term.
and if you can't admit that our kids are going downhill then you need to really see how other kids are, or maybe you have yet to see it. cuz its everywhere. We're not disciplining our kids enough, (not saying we're not spanking enough). I'd go for moderate spanking because I don't want to traumatize the kid, but i sure as hell wasn't traumatized. I grew up to fight against my dad in arguments but i learn to keep negative feelings to myself due to various lonely factors as a non-white. and I rly care for others and I'm def not antisocial, or have low IQ, or am too aggressive. These studies on spanking are just ridiculous. Plus its not like you survey parents, will they just willingly tell u they spank? Some parents nowadays cud be afraid of saying such things because it'd make them look bad in a way.
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Children nowadays are being treated like kings; parents don't spank them, nor do they reproach them for wrongdoing. As a result they become like this:
Seriously? I'd be going crazy with gratitude at my parents, not whining how IT'S NOT BLUE. How do you expect students/children like the above example to do anything worthwhile in life? Nag the hell out of their parents or boyfriends? Hell no if I had a girlfriend like that I'd ditch her in five minutes.
Discipline is sorely needed ESPECIALLY in rich families. In poor families the children usually don't require further discipline as their environment becomes their rod and measure of discipline. Not that I'm saying that poor children will automatically be well disciplined or grow up to be successful, but thing is, it's pretty much proven time and time again that great people have humble beginnings, good discipline and so on.
Take Jeannette Walls and her book 'The Glass Castle' for example. She had some terrible ordeals, her father being the town drunkard and coming from a poor family where every nickel counted.
And now? She's a successful writer and lives in New York, a far cry from Welch, West Virginia.
Seriously? I'd be going crazy with gratitude at my parents, not whining how IT'S NOT BLUE. How do you expect students/children like the above example to do anything worthwhile in life? Nag the hell out of their parents or boyfriends? Hell no if I had a girlfriend like that I'd ditch her in five minutes.
Discipline is sorely needed ESPECIALLY in rich families. In poor families the children usually don't require further discipline as their environment becomes their rod and measure of discipline. Not that I'm saying that poor children will automatically be well disciplined or grow up to be successful, but thing is, it's pretty much proven time and time again that great people have humble beginnings, good discipline and so on.
Take Jeannette Walls and her book 'The Glass Castle' for example. She had some terrible ordeals, her father being the town drunkard and coming from a poor family where every nickel counted.
And now? She's a successful writer and lives in New York, a far cry from Welch, West Virginia.
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Depends on the situation really whether the child is a masochist or not
if so thus they should be spanked to be disciplined.
if so thus they should be spanked to be disciplined.
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BlackShogunFox wrote...
Hell I received punishment when I screwed up yet I am still sane. This article should be given a one way trip too the recycling bin...I took multiple beatings through my life, many verging on abuse. I'm currently ranked as one of the top students in my university, and I don't even study half the time. I learn things at an accelerated rate and have a huge capacity to retain things. I admit that I do make some stupid decisions, but I feel that is my own expression of idiocy, not the fault of my parents being good* parents.
*Depending on your opinion on whether you agree with physical punishment for a child
So, no, the idea that punishing a child will make them stupid is beyond ridiculous.
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Well Tachigami I think punishments like no tv, computer, or leaving the house is in order...
I say if the child even keeps being bad after that then a light spank on the hand should be next...
Children need to be nutured and loved that is all in the end...
Because when they become an adult they will wish they enjoyed it while it lasted.
I say if the child even keeps being bad after that then a light spank on the hand should be next...
Children need to be nutured and loved that is all in the end...
Because when they become an adult they will wish they enjoyed it while it lasted.
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Well, the fact that all of you are sane is confirmed only by yourselves but I won't try attacking little things like that. Yes, beating children is stupid most time but yes, it is necessary sometimes. I think, beyond the whole beating crap, the guy who was talking about discipline was right.
I am myself just getting out of my teenager years and I can tell you that my generation and those after me lack only one thing, fucking discipline.
Yes, there are sill extreme cases but long story short, they are a bunch of Young brats going Wild because of too much Freedom. I won't put myself aside from them since I've messed up big time too but I know I can still do something productive with my life (like someone said ~) so I just hope that those kids wasting their one chance to have little fun will understand one day.
So, yeah, my parents beating me didn't make me stupid but it didn't make me smart either.
I still accept that it helped me learning respect, politeness and courtesy necessary to evolve in this shit-society ~
I am myself just getting out of my teenager years and I can tell you that my generation and those after me lack only one thing, fucking discipline.
Yes, there are sill extreme cases but long story short, they are a bunch of Young brats going Wild because of too much Freedom. I won't put myself aside from them since I've messed up big time too but I know I can still do something productive with my life (like someone said ~) so I just hope that those kids wasting their one chance to have little fun will understand one day.
So, yeah, my parents beating me didn't make me stupid but it didn't make me smart either.
I still accept that it helped me learning respect, politeness and courtesy necessary to evolve in this shit-society ~
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Yeah Sighing it is a mixed bag between allowing a child too much freedom if any at all. Parents should find what works best for that said child spanking a child is an option among many. The parent must use responible descretion when selecting a choice on how too deal with the child...
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Nothin' says your gonna learn somthing today like your dad with a leather belt! I learned reeeel quick too!
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Well...I see what you mean yet it still stands that children can be told what is right from wrong without spankings however spanking might be a last resort if said child does not heed countless or maybe ten or more warnings not too do something...
In the end...discretion must be used so as not too over step discipline boundaries.
In the end...discretion must be used so as not too over step discipline boundaries.
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echoeagle3
Oppai Overlord
I don't believe that is true at all. Some of us were spanked as kids and Im sure all our parents were. Thats just a form a discipline its not to cause long term harm. In my opinion if any kid gets traumatized by getting a spanking then he is a serious pussy and needs to get over it.
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echoeagle3 wrote...
I don't believe that is true at all. Some of us were spanked as kids and Im sure all our parents were. Thats just a form a discipline its not to cause long term harm. In my opinion if any kid gets traumatized by getting a spanking then he is a serious pussy and needs to get over it. facepalm...