Wondering About Virginity

Well, you are only a virgin once. once its gone its gone. That makes it important.

Virginity has never been an important value, except for marriage.

The social values are just exaggerated for no good reason and meant to boost one's ego and make others feel bad. Same goes for the "who is better at sex" situation and question.

I believe it is still extremely important, for reasons completely outside religion or societal expectations; Trust. Modern Media makes sex look like something you just do for fun and pleasure, but it's something that involves a lot of trust. If you don't at least partially trust the person you're sleeping with.. you're doing it wrong.

Trust;

-the girl not to poke a hole in the condom.
-the girl not to use sex as a weapon, and thus spread all kinds of rumors about your tryst, not to mention your penis size.
-the guy not to do the above, except about your technique or your weird coital noises.
-the guy not to ignore the whole of your existence for the rest of your life; assuming you wanted at least a little more recognition than that.
-your partner not to secretly be in a relationship with someone else already.
-or if you don't want a relationship, what if they do, and they assume sex is the gateway to one?

Sex, in a perfect world, is a non-convoluted issue and everyone always already knows what to expect from it, and about it. But this is a very, very imperfect world.

That said, your first time is your very first experience into this new world of sexual awakening. It's the first time you explore your body with someone else, and having a crappy experience with it, colors your perspective about it for the rest of your life.

I think virginity is something to share with someone you trust implicitly and know very well. A best friend, if not a long-term significant other.

Eh? Never an important value? Depending on what your views are good sir, I'm sure that many people regard virginity as an important value.

I'd say almost the same points as OP. Tradition, Religion and personal views and/or feelings.

Speaking from my own view, if I ever had my significant other, It'd -probably- (not like I know!) feel nicer if I was her first in a way. It's just like she waited for me, instead of just bumping around not giving a fuck (exaggerating). Hard to put into words.

I put sex on a 'very high level', it's not something just for release, it's forming a deep connection with your significant other. Today's culture disgusts me. You shouldn't be sleeping around.

I have to agree with LollieKittie on this one. Trust is a huge issue when it comes to sex, especially so in the beginning - the level of trust may change as you get older / more experienced.

Having sex does a lot to a person emotionally and physically, and when it's your first time it can be a lot to deal with and overwhelming. Once you go through that first time it's a brand new experience - so it tends to be important to the person.

Virginity is a thing that differs for men and women due to societal pressures and media exploitation. Now of course values on it will differ from person to person, these "expectations" of how virginity should be handled are heavily portrayed in movies/shows etc. Women are usually shown as "innocent and fragile" and they should protect their virginity and save it for "the right person" if they sleep around, it makes them a slut/whore, and they are unclean and disgusting. If a man loses his virginity early, it makes him a "hero" or a "stud" "player" etc and he's amazing and great at it. I really have a strong execration for these overdone and abysmal portrayals upon either sex. Personally I don't care how much a person sleeps around with whomever. Sex is more fun for some than others and whatnot. I still personally think virginity is something you should probably be a little more careful with, as should people know the risks and consequences of sex.

Virginity varies from culture to culture, religion to religion, and person to person. That said, I'll just lay out my personal thoughts instead of trying to set something that either apply to the states or even my faith.

I personally think that virginity is not something that is broken with sex but with sexual maturatiy. Masturbation and sex are two rooms in the same house. Most people will agree that having sex is better than masturbating, I can argue that the actual feelings that sex gives over masturbating is only greater pleasures, not different pleasures entirely.

This idea of virginity breaking is still a personal one. I know that most people still define it as sex with a person, and they entitled to that thought. Sex and her definitions will vary on people, as we have seen in just this topic, on this forum.

Virginity is one element in an overall philosophy on sex that person treats. When to do it, and with whom, is dependent on the person. There really can't be a wrong answer over the breaking, unless it's forced.

Sex should feel better if you're having it with someone who means a lot to you because of the emotional and intimate levels.

They say that your brain releases certain chemicals that make you feel 'high' when you're next to a person you're attracted to... so love feels good :P

Pheromones.^
It's true, and certain bodily functions occur as well. Like blushing and smells etc.

Morally its important, its important to do it with someone you love and trust. I think that's what makes us different from the other creatures in this planet. Which is being able to do it responsibly.

Virginity is both important and unimportant to me.

It's important to me because when i lose it, i want it to be with someone i love and trust. Other than some random prostitute or a girl i've never met or rarely talked to.

It's unimportant to me because in today's media and social status, sex is the be all and end all. Nowadays it's known as a ''cool'' thing to lose your virginity and/or have sex on a regular bases. It doesn't help that most media push this down our throats (no pun intended) more often because it's like the classic saying. ''Sex sells''.

It's up to the person decide that for themselves.

I on the other hand rather lose it to some cute girl i really like then some random ho or ugly chick just to get a status title earlier than someone else. Unless it's a milf i'd totally lose it to a milf.

Being a virgin doesn't really bother me much, perhaps I don't understand how important it can be.

In the modern youth society, it can bring a negative effect on people who yet to have sex. They feel missed out and feel cast aside because they haven't experienced it, surrounded by people who aren't virgins. Normally, someone would say it's ok to be a virgin and you can have sex when you're ready to do sexual intercourse.

To me, confidence is the key to lose one virginity.

That's true!:) I had sex with my girlfriend and we had been dating for a long time and we always liked each other and when it happend it was special

because there is a mutual and intimate feeling for one another~

Lol. Well looks like many took my answers too. Media, Society, etc. Personally I can't say that I do care but at the same time I do because I myself am a virgin. I care because I want to feel that compatibility between me and my loved one (if I get one lol), but at the same time I feel like I shouldn't care that much because in the end (to me) my virginity makes me feel as if I am not a follower or societies/media tool. I'm pretty sure everyone knows this but in high school in order for you to be accepted by people who are "cool" you need to lose your virginity and your level of coolness is judged based off of how good you did it and who you did it with. Kind of like...WoW if you think about it. You have stuff on your character but it depends on how you use it or how fast you got etc. I feel like I'm in a damn RPG world where I can't access crap without being at a specific level or something. Now I will agree with that one dude/dudette that if a girl were to have sex before marriage with some random guy then people label her as a whore/slut/busdown etc. But if she does then gets married then she's none of that. But with a guy it's either he's cool or perv/pig or he just did it because others did it. It's things like that irks the hell out of me. I will sex with the woman (not a girl) when I'm ready. I'm the kind of guy that will fall for a woman if I were to have sex with her. Sex to me is bonding between two people. (I'm pretty sure almost everyone feels the same way). Pretty sure everyone said it that it's a trust thing. :3

here is my explanation on why virginity is holy.

Virginity is the same as being sexually innocent, you don't fuss over about sex and plus you are still psychologically free, what I mean by free is, that you aren't bound by the chains of your personal sexual desire once you have tasted the sweet sensation of lust.

Sex is really a big topic, for me, it is the psychology of sex that matters to me more. Sex can awaken something in us that we have never felt before, sometimes good or bad.

I remembered the times I was a virgin, innocent and my mind wasn't so crazy over chicks and sex .. until I had my first time, after that, it became more and more and realized the pleasure of being drowned in lust. It felt good, but it became psychologically more and more painful, became more frustrated without it. I am more calmed down now because I haven't had any for some time now, but the feelings still lingers within me.

Virgins have it lucky, they haven't been exposed to it yet, and like many say ... if you are doing it with the person you trust, then you are doing it right.