Wondering About Virginity

oh yes... religion, what can I say. I dont know if people know this but to catholics the only allowable reason to do sex is to make babies. that its actually a sin to masturbate even. I learned this from catholic school. and yes, to do it for pleasure is evil, even if its with your wife. thats why they're against contraception.

Like most people say 'you are only a virgin once, once it gone it's gone forever'.
Just follow whatever principle you have and take your time.
Don't lose your virginity just because of peer pressure and on what you see in the media
afterall there are only men and women in this world and sooner or later most of us will be doing the deed.

I think if you really want to wait, go ahead and wait no one should make you feel obligated to do anything sexual
But personally I think without having sex you can't learn things about you're self, I feel like sex is one of those things that teaches you how controlling you are, how fast you can learn, what ACTUALLY turns you on and off and so many more things that you can't find out any other way.

I'm also a firm believer that you can't truly be in love with someone unless you've had sex with them. Of course in a relationship sexual attraction is important but what if you realize you prefer rougher sex and tons of dirty talk while your partner just wants to go slow and cuddle. You'll be sexually frustrated if your suddenly trapped in that kind of relationship so I say loose your virginity, play around and figure out what you like before you look for your soul mate.

Being disgusted by tentacles? Seriously?

But on topic: It's a social thing. People go 'oh, she's not a virgin anymore she's a slut' or 'she is a virgin still. She's frigid as fuck' Which in a sense doesn't make virginity seem like a big thing, which probably explains the youths frame of mind.
As for us (or me in general) I don't know, but it's just something that feels right, Giving your virginity to the person you plan to be with forever. I was hoping my ex was the one, but it turned out she wasn't.
You have it once, and if you give it to the wrong person, you'll regret it later in life. You don't want to give your virginity to some scrub, just because it's convenient.
But, at the same time, I don't really see the point in waiting till marriage. If you feel like they are the one, why wait? Having said that, you wouldn't want the relationship to be based soley on sex (not that it happens very often)
So, imo; it's important, but not. You shouldn't throw it away to any old scrub. But at the same time, you shouldn't feel the need to wait till you're married. Hell, people who get married early get divorces quite often. That'd be a waste, wouldn't it? Giving them your virginity, only to have you split up later.

What a statement. Are you saying there is this sort of "purity contest" to those who hold their chastity until marriage?

In my opinion virginity only holds an actual meaning on females, and all because of the hymen. Other than that I don't see why virginity is associated even to the act of sex. It was a retarded (in the true, non degorative sense of the word) concept and it will always be.

what does virginity actually mean, i think is at the root of the dicussion.

By definition a Virgin is a person who has not had sexual intercourse.
which brings to the definition of sexual intercourse, the act of having sex involving penetration between two individuals.

this is where i find my dilemma, with the jargon being used. if you look at technology as it is now, it is very easy to say that the term virgin is highly outdated. for a man, there is no difference between masterbation and sex. the stimulus may vary but the outcome is always the same. this does not however hold true for a woman due to as many have mention the hymen. but that may not always be intact. i mean can a woman who uses a dildo still be considered a virgin? can a man who uses a fleshlight be considered a virgin? can a woman who fingers herself deep enough to pass the area of the hyman be considered a virgin?

to me, the answer is no. all we have done is replaced the act of sexual intercourse with another person with a device or your hand. to be a virgin by definition you would not have to have taken part in any sexual activity including but not limited to, sex and masterbation.

Put virginity in the same context of buying a car, would you rather have a new one or a used one? Not that used is bad, used just means experienced.

Your virginity is important. But having sex with the right person is also important. If you go and have sex with someone who puts out just because, it will leave you feeling empty inside.

I will flat out just say that I used to think virginity was important, when I was a virgin.

I can see that virginity would have been important a few thousand years ago when you needed to be sure that your children actually were your children, and the only way to be sure of that is if the woman had never had sex with anyone else. But I can't see why it's a huge deal now.



Yes, I agree that at first I wanted my first time to have that new car smell, but that was only an issue at first. What really bothered me was the idea that she let someone else have her before me, with no idea of how she was feeling. Maybe she thought that was the guy she was going to spend the rest of her life with but things went horribly wrong later. But once a female does it, it's over, there is no going back, the next guys she tries to have relations with will just have to deal with it.

I didn't throw my virginity away willy-nilly either. I was 21 the first time, but now I have to live with the idea that whoever I am with next may feel the same way I did if they are a virgin. How could I just give my first time to some other person?

So now I see the whole issue a completely different way. Sex just really isn't that big of a deal anymore to me in my life, it is just another aspect of it. Virginity means nothing to a guy, it is only an issue for women who actually have a physical means of showing that they are and have much more to lose if they show they are more sexually active. As long as you are with someone you care about it doesn't matter about their past, they chose you now.

Oh and the whole STD/HIV thing is all a matter of trust. Just wear a condom regardless.

I'm just quoting out these three sections to address them. In the past, socially, it was not acceptable to have a single woman who was of age without a husband and it was most certainly not acceptable to show that you were unloyal to your family and partner. That is not the case today. If anything, in todays world, it is even more scary to think that your children may not be yours because women throw around their sexual privilages as if it has no meaning. Many women today only see sex as a justified means to achieve pleasure under the false idiology that they have a "right to orgasm". That isn't to say they don't have a right to orgasm, but they use it as an excuse to sleep with whomever they feel like at any given time. There is no longer a sense of respect for partnership and it is becoming more and more common especially amoung teen mothers, of seeing them with multiple children from different fathers. The problem is that virginity is a big deal because it is seen as shameful. I was 23 when I lost my virginity and I have been rediculed since my teen years for not being interested in sex and wanting my first time to be meaningful (which is wasn't.)

I have traveled around the world, and lived in several places spanning half a country and a quarter of north america and have yet to meet a woman who valued her virginity.

The point is that back then, if she was not a virgin, there was actually no way of telling if your kids were yours. There were no DNA tests. You wanted to be sure that your belongings and your families property went to your own bloodline, your own spawn. Nowadays we have ways to tell, though you would still rather be sure your kids are yours from the offset and virginity guarantees that.



It is just a sign of the change of times. We have had a world where people found virginity important, but it is a dying breed. Over time you will find less and less caring, but whether that is a good thing or a bad thing is all up to subjective opinion.



I feel for you there, I too was ridiculed for said virginity, I just didn't let it get to me because 'at least I was sleeping around with everyone else'. I think it goes to show when you look back and everyone you went to school with is now has multiple kids.



I do understand what you are getting at, I just haven't come across these women in my community as such (or maybe that is just a commentary on how sheltered I am in my society, if I got out more I would see more of it). I think having sex just to achieve pleasure is justified though, as long as you take responsibility, though I suppose if you are wearing protection you are only doing it for pleasure anyway.

I do agree with you pretty much regardless that I do see more people just sleeping around and the teen moms I see everywhere just makes me feel like I come from a different time period and my values just dont match anymore :(

I am actually in that same position right now. Even my big brother who is one of the people I admire most in the world started joking about it on a regular basis ever since I've hit 17. So when you say that in the end, it wasn't meaningful, do you mean that you regret saving it?


Also, I kind of think that if I value my virginity so much, it's not because of social values or anything. It's just that, having started masturbating pretty soon, I've always felt like it was enough. Like, I don't need sex as long as I have that, so, I might as well wait until I find someone I really love, and who really loves me too.
At some point though, I did felt the need to lose it because everyone did, but I just couldn't let myself get so intimate with someone I didn't even really trust( I'm talking about one night stands here, or prostitutes ). That, and having balls made me damn horny. So much so, that masturbating didn't help at all sometimes.

So here I am now, a virgin on a hentai site( I'm pretty sure that's not too rare though ), and it doesn't particularly feel wrong.

I was more trying to convey that I regret how I lost my virginity. I was forced into a situation that I was not happy with and in my opinion, taken sexual advantage of. The girl that I was in love with wanted to partake in activities with me, but she forced an ultimatum on me that I had to lose my virginity first to her, "multi-partnered" friend. I did not want this to happen and refused it so many times, but alas, alcohol and pot somehow got involved on one occasion and I was not in the right frame of mind to say no. Embarassing to say, I underperformed, it was very embarassing and terrifying. But that is what happened. I take every step in life as a learning opportunity.

I read it but tldremember.

I lost my virginity to a prostitute named kiki.
Then I slept with this old dude...that was regrettable....
His thing smelled like he hadn't washed it in weeks! Horrifyingly the hooker somehow smelled worse! She was like...walked in the room, suddenly stoners knocking on my door asking if I have any spare trout.
Fortuitously in this society where its so important to be open to things. I'm not doing so awful.
As long as you don't have a vcard you're good.
Just don't be a whore. Lol.

Virginity doesn't mean anything, its really just something stuck up in people's mind as if it should matter if yes or no someone had sex, we are animals, life is short and its a good thing for people to experience, love or have fun as much as they desire, as long as you don't catch anything in the process and if you do make sure to tell your possible partner feel free to do as you want, virginity is important to those you can't think farther then oh no she got fucked before, how nasty.

Just throwing in my opinion because I've got a ton of work to do and I like to procrastinate:

I guess virginity is valued because it's something you won't get back (I think there is a surgery to reconstruct the hymen though, but whatever) and most of all: it's this whole new world of sensations that another person is making you feel. So yes, aside from the "psychological" point of view that we believe it's important because our society tells us it's important blah blah, it's because it's a new experience in which you need to trust your partner and so.
Personally, I'm a cheesy person, and I'm glad to have lost my virginity with someone I loved and more importantly; loved me back, because even if your first time is not that great, hell, even if it sucks, you'll think "hey, at least it was with someone special to me" so... there.

At the very core, virginity can be seen as a measure of how much you value yourself. Not including the few sexual deviants, most of us care or at least know the importance of virginity. It's not about religion; it's even less about society. It's how much you value your own body. I understand that there are a few of us who are curious about sex and hence forsook their virginity. While it is true that the temptation of sex can get the better of our judgment, unless you're engaged in a "friends-with-benefit" or "pay-for-sex" relationship, I find it difficult to think that the majority won't think twice about giving away their first time to their partners.

Consider too the somewhat-double standards we have towards both males and females when we consider the issue of virginity. We call a male with an active sex life "experienced", while we dub the female counterpart as "whore" or "slut". Even countless manga here in Fakku point the male virgin as inexperienced and the female virgin as a Yamato Nadeshiko of sorts.

My only concern with none virgins, is STDs, if such thing never existed, fuck it. I wouldn't mind being with someone who already had sex. Even so, I'm always careful, I wouldn't stick it if I'm not sure it's safe.

I think there's just a social stigma associated with guys in their late teens or early 20s who still haven't lost their virginity. It sounds stupid and stereotypical, but it's true: all the guys I know just kept chatting about the hottest girls who they wanted to bang and I lost my virginity as a result of the peer pressure. But I highly respect a couple of my close friends who haven't caved under the pressure.