FAKKU Writers' Lounge
0
Cinia Pacifica
Ojou-sama Writer
> Momoka suddenly appears in the story.
Goosebumps.
> I love Fakku too silly!
Goosebumps.
^^;;
Goosebumps.
> I love Fakku too silly!
Goosebumps.
^^;;
0
Cinia Pacifica
Ojou-sama Writer
LOL. That too!
And of course, these are not really good things. People needs to be more original.
And of course, these are not really good things. People needs to be more original.
0
Yeah too many cliches' are not good definitely =D
Be more original eh? How about
amidoinitrite?
and
Lol
Be more original eh? How about
"I like you because of your flatness!"
"I love you Nee-chan."
"I love your chicken bagel, Emi."
"I love your chicken bagel, Emi."
"Nee-chan you dummy, don't change the topic all of sudden! It's your fault that I've been marked as a lesbian! Remember the time you came by and delivered my bento?"
I think I came to her classroom and delivered it last Wednesday, and today's Sunday, so..
"If I remembered correctly, I added some hamburgers to it."
"NO! It's not about the hamburgers...you don't realize how excited I am, how my heart beats really fast when you are here. All of my classmates thought you are my lover! The rumors spread and that's how these bullies find out about me..." then she continues with a low voice "Though I'm happy about how envious they were, when they thought Nee-chan was my lover..."
Emily, I don't know you could mutter those cheesy lines with a straight face like that. You must be reading too much hentai these days...
"So yeah, about that pink golfball last Thursday..."
I think I came to her classroom and delivered it last Wednesday, and today's Sunday, so..
"If I remembered correctly, I added some hamburgers to it."
"NO! It's not about the hamburgers...you don't realize how excited I am, how my heart beats really fast when you are here. All of my classmates thought you are my lover! The rumors spread and that's how these bullies find out about me..." then she continues with a low voice "Though I'm happy about how envious they were, when they thought Nee-chan was my lover..."
Emily, I don't know you could mutter those cheesy lines with a straight face like that. You must be reading too much hentai these days...
"So yeah, about that pink golfball last Thursday..."
amidoinitrite?
and
"Ahhhnnn...yes...please make me even wetter, Nee-chan."
I don't understand what the hell is she thinking about at the moment, but she seemed to hold her legs together like holding her bladder. And the expression of her face turns ecstatic like a kid who's been playing video games too much...
"Okay." I complied with her request and emptied my contents to her shirt, splashing my glass of water towards her.
The glass I'm holding is now empty, then I could see her shirt getting fully drenched to the point her undergarments are completely visible...
"H-hey...Emi...go change your clothes, you'll catch a cold!"
I don't understand what the hell is she thinking about at the moment, but she seemed to hold her legs together like holding her bladder. And the expression of her face turns ecstatic like a kid who's been playing video games too much...
"Okay." I complied with her request and emptied my contents to her shirt, splashing my glass of water towards her.
The glass I'm holding is now empty, then I could see her shirt getting fully drenched to the point her undergarments are completely visible...
"H-hey...Emi...go change your clothes, you'll catch a cold!"
I was like, where's the logic. . . People can't just do this in real world. But then I was like what the hell it's called fiction.
Lol
0
Cinia Pacifica
Ojou-sama Writer
There are some stuffs that are not original. And that includes the flatness part and the part about the rumors lol, though there's this distinction that the involved characters are siblings. Lol.
I wanna read this story later one day.
I wanna read this story later one day.
0
Yeah some people told me the story's had quite a number of cliches indeed, although that one was meant to be made fun of hahaha xD
0
Cinia Pacifica
Ojou-sama Writer
Lolz.
So like...
> I wanna repay you for the silly mistake I made and caused you trouble~
> Sex
Goosebumps.
So like...
> I wanna repay you for the silly mistake I made and caused you trouble~
> Sex
Goosebumps.
0
Cinia Pacifica
Ojou-sama Writer
Lololol. Well it turned into a one night stand of sorts and sex wasn't implied or anything. Too bad. Nothing happened at all.
But yeah, reading these are fun but disappointing at the same time.
But yeah, reading these are fun but disappointing at the same time.
0
Yeah it seems there's lot of interesting entries for the summer, people sure had their unique sense of creativity~
0
At least some others were unique and refreshing, I felt the entries were more enjoyable than the Winter ones...many people seem to improve a lot and this system means everyone got a chance for their stories to be read too =)
0
Cinia Pacifica
Ojou-sama Writer
I must say Chronus is way better than he used to be. I personally thought he'd never improve. But fuck am I surprised.
0
xninebreaker
FAKKU Writer
It's k High. I don't think I've improved by much if that makes you feel any better.
0
I write rarely and I don't let people read my story cause I thought it's embarrassing so I have no idea if I had improve or am I just getting worse >_>
And sadly I'm too busy with college and work that I have so little time to read long stories =A=
And sadly I'm too busy with college and work that I have so little time to read long stories =A=
0
xninebreaker
FAKKU Writer
And the legendary Mibu appears~
Well if you don't post you'll never get the feedback you might need to improve!
Neko_Maido wrote...
I thought it's embarrassing so I have no idea if I had improve or am I just getting worse >_>Well if you don't post you'll never get the feedback you might need to improve!