Mahou's Haven

Yeah.. same here. It's odd though. Last year I moved to another state and the town I'm in is well known for having some of the grouchiest, laziest populace in the entire state. I knew this going in.. but well, sometimes life takes you to strange places.

Anyways, because most of the people here are like that, it's got an odd side effect. It's easier to tell who among strangers is friendly. So while I'm not the most outgoing person by far, when I find myself with nothing else to do, it just sorta occurs.

I'm still a little like "omg.. omg.. I talked to someone I didn't know today! H-how did I do that?!" because normally for me to talk to someone, it has to be like, a friend of a friend.. as in, I know someone in a group and this other person I don't.. but my friend says they don't bite. xD

So for me to be like "hi" and come away with actual experiences actually weirds me out a bit. Cuz I keep going.. "wha.. how.. I.." but I manage it! It's cool! lol

With how perceptive you are, I must say it does not surprise me much.

I chuckled at how you struggle with a hi. For me it's different, hi, I'm fine etc I can manage easily. Basically all these social keywords I can spout mechanically. But to actually feel like I am a human being talking to another... is very very hard.

haha, oh I'm okay if someone else starts it.. I mean, I get a little shy and iffy at first, but luckily I'm a great listener and always have something to say. So as long as I can strike a common topic of interest, I'm okay.

It's that introduction that gets me. I've seen both the lighter and the darker things people can do.. and well, I get nervous. I can watch just fine, but to actually cross that barrier is tough. I worry that maybe I'm intruding, or maybe they look nice but aren't.

As you know, I'm a very sentimental person, and well, that often makes you strange to people. >.> I can see someone walking down the street with their head down and think "oh no, they look sad! Was it a bad break up?" And I just want to run over and hug them.. tell them it's okay.. but I don't even know them.

But most of the time, people misread my affections for them.. because the world isn't used to people who care simply for the sake of caring.. they think your after something. And when they can't figure out what it is, they make something up that fits to them.. and that means I often don't fit, cuz while I'm just wanting them to succeed, they are trying to figure out an angle.

So when I don't know them, I feel awkward and get all wrapped up in my own little world. Once they let me into theirs, that's when I do better.. it's like that saying that once your on a journey, walking forward is easier than going back. I'm still nervous, but my curiosity takes over. lol

Yup, and that's where we really differ. You're far kinder than I am. While I could feel similar air around people usually I'm indifferent about it. "Eh, people suffer. What's new?"

Actually, since I tend to focus more on the tangible rather than the emotional side of things, I also tend to be a dick to people. Things like, "Huh. So you're horribly depressed because of something like that?"

Yeah, I can see that. Personally though, while I know you have plenty of reason to be like that, I think there is an underlying cause for the way you react. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I've noticed you can and often do feel things very deeply. Your always looking for meaning in the world around you and getting disappointed when others can't relate to it the same way.

So although you say those things and act the way you do, I can't help thinking you do that so you can avoid getting hurt. It's as if you've decided that if others aren't going to care about you, why try and care about them? Really, you want to care.. but it seems risky and time consuming. If the world isn't going to change into a better place, your not going to show the side of you they reject, because in your mind, it won't help.


Whereas me, I get those doubts sometimes too.. but they are usually over run by desire to see happiness, to be a part of it. I'm kind somewhere deep down and somehow, it's my go to response. It's like I can't help myself. When I see distress I want to make it better.. to make the world a brighter place.

I'm not naive.. I know I can't save the world so to speak. But ever since I was a kid, I've been obsessed with the idea of peace and harmony. People's happiness makes me happy. It's my ideal existence I suppose. I am aware of and even capable of some very dark things, but I reject them.

Villainy, in it's many forms, is easy. It's also far too common and destructive. It may provide some cheap thrills, a quick rush, a feeling of power.. but it's all a deception. The darker things of the world are fleeting and much like a drug, those who rely on them need more and more. It's just not sustaining.

Peaceful kind action on the other hand often has a lasting effect. You don't always see it but it tends to extend beyond the person(s) initially involved. It creates, rather than destroying. For this reason, I see kindness as more worthwhile. More opportunity comes from kind acts than unkind ones.

So I chose kindness. And I guess it has a way of becoming a part of you, much like any other practiced action. So although I know my kindness won't exactly lead to world peace, It doesn't stop my from caring about the people I'm around.

*hides under Mahou's hat*

*discreetly lifts hat a little and sneaks the mouse a nibble of cheese*

*hugs Horlix*

*hugs back*

Hi there Shane! ^^
I'm deciding on a post for today, but I didn't sleep so well, so I'm kinda sluggish. Any requests?

Wow. You're very perceptive as usual. How I want someone at your level to tear apart my work and go through every thread used to weave it.



You were correct, there was indeed a significant period of time I used to think this way. However, as time passed things changed. Now I'm learning to stop caring about myself too. I'm learning to enjoy things if they're worthwhile and despise things I deemed don't. Put another way, I'm moving to appreciate tangible things.

So now I'm in the phase where making people happy or suffer are both worthless. I prefer to do something that has some other meaning, some more than mere fleeting emotions. Of course it does mean I tend to focus on my satisfaction more, as I know the tangibility of the things I seek, while I question it in others.

But all the same when one talks about finding happiness, it reeks of greed/laziness/other crap to me. I believe it is merely about being content with what you have and using them to strive for something meaningful.



This is another reason why I tend to reject others. 'Happiness', whatever they mean by it, seem so high up their priority that they are incapable of anything dark, they deny its existence. They prefer to go on with the fake life all for the sake of protecting their fragile smiles. Not my way of being, I must say. I prefer facing things head on, for anything that exists need to be taken into account of if I want to have anything real.

And well, there sure are depressing things out there. Sure I'm not strong enough to take it all in and I turn away at times, but I dislike that weakness. I want to overcome it. As such, I do not think I can approve of living a denial.



Peaceful kind action on the other hand often has a lasting effect. You don't always see it but it tends to extend beyond the person(s) initially involved. It creates, rather than destroying. For this reason, I see kindness as more worthwhile. More opportunity comes from kind acts than unkind ones.[/quote]

While the part about villainy is true, I must say I see peace just as fleeting. Villainy is at therefore preferable to me in many cases as a problem makes people strive, thus giving rise to something tangible. Peace on the other hand promote idleness and soon enough complacency.

I am against making people suffer for the sake of suffering, but for reasons above, I can nod to suffering if that's what it takes to improve.

*grins*

Why thank you.


As for your comments, I can see your point. That said, I feel I should make something clear. When I say I reject the darkness, that does not mean I turn a blind eye to it or do not see it as a needed force at times. What I mean is that it is so readily available that I feel it's usually not what is needed at that time. I am not incapable of dark actions, like some others seem to claim.

That said, in my view, kindness is often something people are lacking far more often and often takes more work. It's also what makes me happiest, so it's lessons and merits are what I strive for. Force is of course necessary at times, as you said, it has lessons of it's own.. but it's abundance concerns me.

Working towards the tangible requires acknowledgement of these forces because these are it's building blocks. In sense, it's like the ying-yang. No one side can stand solely on it's own. Even in peaceful acts, there is some forcefulness and in aggressive acts there must be some restraint. Only once this occurs can the third aspect, the tangible, exist.

I have simply found that many people have trouble with kindness.. either in accepting it or giving it. Indeed, the aggression in the world is why kind souls like myself are needed. Which is fine to me. In my opinion, kindness is preferable, because it counters more bad things than aggressive acts do. But I do understand that it's hard to measure and that the tangible is more gratifying.

In the end, I guess that's the trick.. finding your own personal balance and adjusting it as you go.

Well yes, I understood what you mean. However, many others simply deny it and pretend a harmonious life is all there is to it.



Because it's easier to exploit. People cause suffering not because they like it, but simply because it's the "shortest way there". Little do they realize they never had any concrete idea of "there" at all.



Fully agree.

*nods* We stand in agreement on both points. lol

Anyways, I've been on for a long time.. I better hop off F! and do something else while it's a tad slow or I'll never leave at this rate. I'll leave some music with a nice visual behind for others. ^^

If mouse or whoever else comes along, don't be afraid to chat amongst yourselves. The haven is home to all manner of peaceful sorts.. and I read all my back messages when I log in. lol

It's always fun to see Mibs getting a huge discussion out there, rather, it's been a while, it's refreshing in some sense ahah. Someone's gonna give a hug to Luca later =V

Hi Neo.. I'm just getting off. I'm happy my presence is such a positive thing though! Before I go, I believe I need to update contact info with you. Do you have skype?

Yes I do, I'll PM it to you now =V

Hola~

*nibbles cheese under hat*

hehe

Something about animals.

KimiUso's ver.