Things not to say during sex

girl/i thought you said you liked dirty.?
guy/i do but that is snuff too far

"Snuff?"
"What does that mean and why do you have an axe?"

girl/this is not snuff this is goro
guy/wot im not a fucking cartoon!!!! get away from me bitch!
girl/oooo trying to run aye well i know wot to do about that :twisted:

It would be better if the confetti shoots out of her pussy.

Right before you cum, tear the condom off furiously, look her dead in the eyes, pin her to the bed, and in a really fucked up voice say, "Its baby time."

"Just think, three months ago when I was hiding cameras in your room and spying on you from the bushes outside, I would've never thought I'd get to fuck you without using chloroform."

(While she's handcuffed to the bed) Okay, now where's your mom's room?

aa chlorofourm the start of somthing beutifle is just a few breath ins away lol

Guy"Ahhhhhhhhhh my legs, what are you doing with them, stop eating them you sick bitch!!!!!!!!!"
Girl"I love it when they resist." :twisted:

guy/aaaaa wtf are you doing with my penis no no its not a mask bitch i demand you put it back!!!!
girl/ i love maskerade i almost have a penis suit my friends are going to be so jelous at halloween wen i come as the rape monster :D

Girl"Did you know that I can transform into a tentacle monster?"
Guy" ':(' "

(Man 1)"Say my name, baby"
(Deep Voice) "Johnathan."

---

*Looks at partners genitalia*
"Ew, It's like a sad old man..."

---

*Climaxes*

"SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

"You know I've been video taping this right?"

*ClimaX!!!*
*Whispers loudly into walkie talkie*
"The bug has been planted"

guy/ i tink i just came fire
girl/ i think so to
guy/ why do you say that?
girl/ well aside from the smell of burning flesh id say BECAUSE IM FUCKING ON FIRE!!
guy/ thiught you were always hot thou?

*Brandishes Axe*

So...are you into guro?

ooo goro
girl/ hmmm wot is goro? sounds fun
guy/ so you rely wana know?
girl/ yes already
guy/ (googles goro) here you go
girl/ wot is aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

the goggles, they do not work!!!

pacman noises - then at climax pacman death

so you like the movie white noise?
well we gonna make some brown noise :twisted:

GIRL:lets roleplay, you choose

GUY: ok ... how about starship troopers, i'll be a soldier and you be the big bug who eats me alive...

GIRL: 0_0...

girl/ i wana role play
guy/ i know do you wana be a cat girl?
girl/ yes!!
guy/ ok just step on that platform over there and it will erm... put the suit on you (hmmm yes put the suit on that will do :twisted: )

Girl:roleplay, you choose

Guy: lets RP hostel

Girl: ok (unknowing to what hostel is)

Guy: ok, let me get my tools