Well that hurt.

I had to use the restroom really bad in grade school once. I bolted for the bathroom, but it was locked and ran face first into the door. That's more hilarious than painful though.


I also managed to slip on the jungle gym and land groin first onto a steel bar. That was scary...

how bout a kick in the groin with a soccer ball only to have it bounce back to the other player with horrible aiming and get your groins hit by the ball 3 more times

I jumped over a concrete pole outside a store and ended up hitting my nuts and falling on my face.
But it was funny

Was trying to be the man in front of my friends. I tried to jump a poll outside the city square but decided to bail mid-air. Hit my sack and fell to the ground while looking at all the city folk laughing at me.

Ate a block of wasabi at the mall because i thought i was the man. Ended up with me chocking and the people at the food court laughing at me.

Nothing can beat the instant pain of toe meets edge of the bed.... even a martial artist will scream a bit...


personally, while I was playing Tennis, my Serve was too wide and my Racket hit my knee...the pain.... instant Drop out...

Second only to fat people slipping on ice.

One time during gym we had to run laps, someone called out my name just as i was going to take a turn, it made me forget to turn and in a second of time my butt and legs hit a fence, i flipped backwards and SOMEHOW managed to land perfectly on my chest on the ground behind it >.>
I think everyone stopped running at that moment xD

(Note, this was inside with a rock solid floor, the fence is there to... well idk.)

When I once played soccer, one of our opponents tried to kick the soccer ball between my feet and instead kicked me on the other foot, tripping me and I fell on top of him, and our foreheads hit each other hard, I ended up with a concussion.

I SHOT MY FRIEND IN THE FACE, KINDA LIKE THAT SCENE IN PULP FICTION

Once went to a friend's house. While I was waiting for him to get home I was talking to his mom as she baked cookies. When she went to the over to take them out I leaned on the counter next to the oven. She didn't see where I was and when she turned with the hot sheet pan she smacked me right in the face with it. Accidentally of course. For a long time after that I had a large red line from the left corner of my lips all the way to under my ear.

Well, I was teasing my brother.. Then he chased me... I ran of course, but I didn't see a broken tile sticking out of the stairs. It sliced my right leg open.

I was riding my friend's bike once whose back breaks weren't working. A car was driving past so I had to hit the breaks meaning the front ones. As anyone would have guessed, the bike did a forward wheelie launching me forwards, but there wasn't enough force to throw me off the bike which meant I hit the front of the handle bars of a mountain bike. I landed with my balls. It hurt like fuck. Then I fell over, hurt some more. It sucked.

For those that don't know what the handle bars on a mountain bike looks like:



I landed on the area circled in red.

I once shot myself. With a bow and arrow. We were supposed to hit a hay stack that was stacked up against a concrete wall, but I aimed too high and it bounced off the wall. It nearly hit my eye.

Was Ice camping back when I was was in the boy scouts, had to help carve out the kitchen. I had my ice ax and was cutting through some compacted snow, hit it too hard and sank the bottom tip if the ax into my Knee, ow, that hurt. Checked my pants to see if I was bleeding, didn't see any (was wearing 4 layers of clothes) and I only saw a hole in the outermost layer of clothes, so I thought it had just stung, no wound, wrong. That Night I took off my shoes to go to sleep and the liner sock, wool sock, and the two layers of longjohns from my right knee down were SOAKED with my blood. Turns out I did hurt myself, wound was small enough that I didn't need stitches, But I still have a triangular hole in my right knee. Worst part though? halfway through the day (after ax) my right leg felt really warm, and a little wet, so i was like "did I just piss myself?" my thigh wasn't wet, so I ignored it. I was a smart kid.

EDIT: Persondude reminded me of something.

I was Ten years old, and biking with some kid from my street (he was a prick). We decide to race to the end of our block, all was going well, then dumbass decides to pull a no hander, except he doesn't know how to do one and his bike turns in front of me, I T-bone his bike, front flipped over,and skidded a foot or two. So I'm under both of our bikes, Missing almost all of the skin off of my left arm, and some meat off the right, and this fuck, who had a skinned knee runs home and leaves me. the lady's house we crashed in front of was nice enough to pull the bikes off of me and offer to take me home, I declined, and walked home.

Bad end: His bike was fine, my right handlebar had broken off (<--why I was missing meat on my right arm), no more bike for me (frowny face)

Second edit: read page two, memories etc.

Was twelve, playing baseball after school, was up to bat. I Swung, and unbeknown to me, it hit the top of the bat, and flew straight up, and after hearing "Above You" I did the only sane thing a sane person would do, I looked straight up, right in time for the baseball to slam into my face and break my nose, luckily I didn't loose any teeth.

Jesus Christ third edit: went in the kitchen, etc

Was eight, grabbed the casserole dish lid to put it back on, was hot and dropped it, and I freaked and ran across the broken pieces of lid. sat crying on the washer while my mom removed glass from my feet.

Once, when I was a little kid, I was playing *touch and run with some kids. In my haste not to be touched, I failed to see one of those metal wires so common here.
The wires descend like this \, and I happened to be tall enough for my head to go over, but small enough for it to catch me squarely in the neck. My feet went ahead, I fell on my back and hit my head and lost it.

*The game is called "el topao" here, but I suppose there are different names for it

I remember talking to a very cute girl who was playing hockey in our school field with the other girls...

I then remember seeing a flying hockey stick coming directly at my head from her LESBIAN GIRLFRIEND.

Best bit; I didn't feel a damn thing!

..did she play for The Beavers?

Whilst running up a pair of stairs at the age of 8, I tripped on my shoelace onto the stairs. Unfortunatly, my tongue happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and I bit straight into it. The upside? I got lots of icecream.

Whilst on a day trip to a local castle, I tripped over a cats grave and scratched the bone in my arm. It was super itchy for about a week.

Another time whilst running down a hill, I tripped over. Unfortunatly, my left arm got caught in some railing whilst I was falling and it bent the bone on my arm. Other kids freaked out, it was fun.

i tripped on an escalator. the only time in my life i fainted from pain. good thing: i woke up next to a rather sexy nurse :)

unn... yesterday my i asked my bro to get me candy. he did get me candy, but when he threw it to me i wasn't paying attention. so i looked up and BAM! hard watermelon candy smacked me right in the forehead... left a bump >///< but now it's gone... but my forehead still hurts... XD