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Things not to say during sex

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GOK
15 years ago
oh be gentle :oops:
we are one now :P
lets cum together :twisted:
Forum Image: http://filefap.com/pfiles/32018/XXX%202%20%2810%29.gif
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Rbz
15 years ago
Oh, I'm cumming!
No wait, that's just my piss.
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ShinZero
15 years ago
So...do you like STD's?

That reminds me of a pick-up line I heard at a bar a few weeks ago.

My apologies for the irrelevance, but I felt like I needed to share that.

Spoiler:
Guy: Nice pants.
Girl: Thanks, they were 40% off.
Guy: Really? *Whispers in her ear* What say we go back to my place and get those 100% off?
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TheDarkStarAlchemist Requests Moderator
15 years ago
"be my baby's daddy!"
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Waar FAKKU Moderator
15 years ago
"i have a level 80 priest"
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Jonoe
15 years ago
I'm sorry but the pimple on your back just keeps staring at me.
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TheDarkStarAlchemist Requests Moderator
15 years ago
Waar wrote...
"i have a level 80 priest"

:lol:
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smr312
15 years ago
what do you mean"NO!"?
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TheDarkStarAlchemist Requests Moderator
15 years ago
smr312 wrote...
what do you mean"NO!"?

"What do you mean 'oops!'?!"
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Midgar
15 years ago
Y'know, I'm not sure you were worth the trouble. And the $50.
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The Jesus
15 years ago
"If I could go back in time for one thing, I'd use it to tell myself to wear a condom."
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Jonoe
15 years ago
Is raping a prostitute a crime or shop lifting?
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Zeriam
15 years ago
*Girl walks in and looks at us having sex*

Me:Honey I would like you to meet my wife
Other girl: :shock: :shock: :shock:
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The Jesus
15 years ago
Jonoe wrote...
Is raping a prostitute a crime or shop lifting?
Murder...?


8)
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Zero_Hour
15 years ago
Chick: I can't take it anymore! Take me now!
Dude:....*has been taking her for the past 5 minutes already*

or

"You smell like my mother"
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pi-natsuu
15 years ago
-ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
-*ring*hello?oh,nothing. what about you?
-*click* tonight on....
-gained a few pounds haven't ya?
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Anonymous
15 years ago
*getting ready to fuck*
lets listen to something nice

*plays the Monster Mash*
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nzephier
15 years ago
...*sigh* here goes nothing...i must warn you i got a fuck load of stuff...just read a few, but i think i take the cake when it comes to this subject, only because i am the master of awkwardness.

Spoiler:
did i tell you my aunt martha died in this bed?

Girls: is it in yet?

but everybody looks funny naked?

Guy: What tampon?

Girl: did i take my pill? lemme think.

im gonna need another beer for this...

you woke me up for that?

im used to cumming/climaxing/finishing/going after you ^^

on second thought, lets turn off the lights.

so when do you wanna meet my parents?

bad over all: i hate people who think sex means something.

is that your matress or do you smell like rotten potatoes?

did i mention the video camera i set up before we started?

do yo uaccept visa?

i hope your as good looking tomorrow...

try not to smear my make up will you?

i thought YOU had the keys to the handcuffs!

i think you put the condom on backwards

were you a porn star before this!?!

can you pass me the remote?

no i do this part better myself.

will you keep it down cuz my parents are light sleepers.

my old bf/gf did it a lot longer.

and FINALLY: how long do you intend to be "almost there"?
-1
Gquain
15 years ago
Male: Uh...Ah....Uh...Ah...
Girl: Could you just be quiet? Your are killing the mood~
____________________________________________
Male: Hey... ehm baby, co- could my friend join us?
Girl: NO!?
____________________________________________
*already in action-mode^^*
Male: Damn I need to go to the toilet...
Girl: Why didn't you go earlier?
Male: Man, you were too hot, i couldn't resist.

Man, this thread is just crank -_-
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Pwin
15 years ago
Kuroe Kurose wrote...
"Hold on, I gotta text my boyfriend back."


Happened. No comment.
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