Your own insecurities.

Oh boy. Insecurities.
I have lots of em.
First, i am really really shy. So i'm always the girl being left out at school since i just can't open my mouth.
Also i get scared easily, from older males. I don't like it when adult guys even slightly touch or brush my arm. It makes me feel scared and disgusted. Like when teachers talk to you and they suddenly just touch your arm or come real close with their faces, it really makes me anxious.
I am always scared of being a bad person, so mostly im trying really hard to do the morally right thing and always being 100% there for my friends, but im so insecure about myself like "Am i actually a bad person?"
Also sometimes im scared of going outside, basically making me a shutin sometimes. But that has gotten a lot better.

I only really have one insecurity and that is about my weight but even that is fading each day.

The insecurities I used to have were mostly related to my mental state and my own future.
I was always extroverted in school and made friends super easily. I was the funny guy and I guess it's hard not to make friends when you're that guy. I did notice however that I didn't have many close friends and the ones I did have were very guarded around me.
Of course it didn't take me a long time to figure out that they were worried I would crack some sort of joke about them. Which of course I always did without realizing how it would hurt people. Humor has always been a way for me to deflect unwanted attention -- to shift people eyes to their own faults and weird qualities instead of focusing on my own. It hurt to come to terms with the fact that I had effectively driven the people I had wanted to befriend away from me.

Of course this lead to depression and some anxiety and when I left school that extroverted personality of mine sort of fell away and I became reclusive and anxious about interacting with people in even the most common social situations. I didn't want to repeat what I had been doing at school which was inadvertently hurting people.
I didn't do a lot of anything for almost an entire year. I gradually retreated more and more into myself and my physical and mental health started to deteriorate terribly. This only added onto my anxiety.

I'm not sure what happened. I was going no where fast with my life. But somehow I began to turn around of my own volition. I found out what I had to do to get into University and I did it. I started to take a stand in regards to my health and I workout everyday. I'm still a fatty but hotdamn, I'm better than I was.

The weirdest thing is, I don't even know what made me turn around and do all of this stuff. It was just another day but for some reason I broke out of a savage cycle of anxiety and depression and made a change.




If you or someone you love is going through this same shit that I did, I wish you all the best and to always remember that the day that you will turn your life around is coming. You just have to be aware that it is approaching!

And i thought i was the master virgin... How naïve was i?

Ok first of all I am a male. Small breasts, PLEASE believe me is not a negative thing, to a guy boobs are boobs either way the guy is going to be hard as a rock once you take off your shirt.
Every guy has preference, some prefer pettanko and others prefer Bakunyuu personally I like them all.
Looking young isnt a bad thing, just make sure you always have ID with you, enjoy looking young while you can because regardless of how young you look you will age and it starts to show eventually (Im 20 so im not old, just repeating a line told to me.). Height is height, doesnt mean anything until you go to ride a rollercoaster. Being insecure about height is silly.


Now for what I am insecure about... Oh boy...

1.) Well I have bad teeth, but Im saving money for surgical correction.
2.) When I get a pimple I dont just wash my face and wait for it to go away. I pop it and then scratch at it which ends up making it take weeks to dissapear rather than 1-2 days. They look like open sores rather than pimples.
3.) I think that I am more intelligent than everyone I meet (Not a huge ego or a superiority complex, im not sure what the proper term is.). Regardless of me knowing it isn't true, I think it anyways, and it bleeds through to conversation making people angry at me.

How I deal with them, well the first I explained, the second I am slowly training myself not to do with mental conditioning which is slowly showing signs of improvement, and lastly I apologize a lot.
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I am similar in many aspects, but I have never been diagnosed as I cant fathom the benefit of being given a label that wont change what I am. So I refuse to be tested for mental 'disorders'.

Something I find intriguing is that you say that you have been told you lack empathy, and fear that you might be emotionally dead. If you lack emotion or empathy, why would you be spending your time typing your fears for a bunch of strangers? Fear on this level is emotional, the other type of fear is a instinctual response to avoid harm. So you are expressing non instinctual fear which is classified as an emotion.

I would also be willing to wager that you are capable of empathy, there are many ways to test this outside the bounds of a doctor's parameters. The parameters used by doctors in modern medicine arent always effective and are being proven as incorrect and obsolete constantly.

Firstly, the more difficult method. Find someone in a similar situation as yourself and try to understand their position using your own experiences. Do not try to dissect it using logic or scientific method. This method is also very difficult to execute properly in short periods because a persons brain can be tempered to think a certain way, removing the possibility of turning up conclusive results.

Secondly, the simpler method. Watch a TV series, anime or otherwise. Try to picture yourself in an awkward sitution that the character you are focussing on is in. Think of which emotions you would feel in that situation, again don't choose emotions using logic or scientific method, think of which emotions you would feel in that situation.

Being quiet all the way through High school. I was very smart and had alot of contribute, but I would always be stopped by this barrier of social awkwardness. Everyone liked me, but I think it was only because I didn't say anything stupid or really voice my opinions.

And to add pain on top of that, on graduation day 3 girls approached me and confessed to me that they had liked me throughout high school. I was absolutely stunned because it came out of nowhere to me and it felt like i missed out on good opportunities that could have changed my life.

Oh well I guess.

I always look back to my highschool career and regret everything. The choices you make in highschool dont really change your life all that much unless it was academic choices or getting your first girlfriend preggers.

If high school taught me anything it was who to not hang out with and why governmental regulated academics is bullshit. Good thing it hardly affected me.

Beard is a bit patchy on one side; Bothers the shit out of me.

My teeth are my biggest insecurity. My teeth looked like a train wreck the first 17 years of my life. Obviously this meant I didn't smile much, and would avoid any way of possibly exposing my teeth. I did end up getting braces, and by age 18, got them off, and now have straight teeth. But even to this day, me being 26 now, I can't shake how insecure I feel about my teeth. They look fine, but I don't feel fine about them.

I have several scars across my upper body, one of them spans from the start of my neck all the way down to my hips and is about 2cm thick, not to keen on taking my shirt of.

Insecurities? Oh jeez, where do I begin...?

My sexuality, social anxiety, clumsiness, tendency to give up, and my overall temper.

My temper doesn't get me much, even though I DO flare up at people and get mad easily. My clumsiness is, well, clumsiness. Not much to it. My social anxiety stops me from talking to people much, and I'm usually pent up, another thing that restrains me from conversing to females (and let's not forget my awkwardness TO the female sex, as they avoid me. Outright.).

My sexuality? I'm bisexual. An immensely huge thing for me, as well...I'm pretty much the son of two Jamaican born parents, (I don't know, but I think Jamaicans are rare on FAKKU!, might be wrong) and Jamaica's known for hating on homosexual males, or bisexuals in general. I've heard of cases where homosexuals get outright killed because the citizens of Jamaica don't like them. Not only that, I've still been unable to come out to my parents. My 19th birthday is on the 10th of December, and I plan to do it then, to the whole family as well.

Although...I just wish these things were easier on everyone else, struggling with them too...

Physically, I'm fine with myself. mentally though I tend to overthink a lot and break myself down constantly telling myself that I'm a terrible person even though people tell me I'm a good person. I'm also sexually repressed I won't let myself be with anyone or do anything with anyone because I feel like I might not be accepted or can not be accepted.😒
P.S. small boobs are awesome. All boobs are amazing. I find small boobs sexy. They're fun sized.😃

I've never really experienced anything as a revelation, personally. Even regarding important life decisions, it's always been the kind of thing that's important in the moment, and then immediately "like, whatever".
I used to be insecure about a lot of things, and the only thing that really changed between me back then and me now is that I stopped stressing over the details about my life. Regarding social interactions, at least where I am and where I've been, people tend to treat you nicely if you treat them nicely, regardless of disagreements.


What's up with all them scars?

Hmm. I'm schizo. Constantly paranoid. Anxiety. I hate space.overly clingy. If not clingy I feel abandoned and forgotten. It's sad. I'll be 25 shortly. Ged. Call center job. Was in hospital for a lot of my highs chool life. Couldn't graduate. Tons of debt. Worked with my ass off 5 years too pay it. I've got nothing. But finally achieved a chance to not crawl from behind . .I feel like a disappointment

Same a s the topic-starter.

Small boobs \O/
In highschool classmates loved to laugh with it.
But yeah before that in elementary school, people laughed with me because I was fat. I worked out, well my boob became smaller as well.

I used to hate my body and I see in the comment here, a lot of people are insecure about their bodies as well. But you know. If people want to hurt you, they will always find something to pick on. So you better love yourself. Even if it is not easy.

My list... hm.

Hell let's see how I can picture myself:

1) I'm fat, I tried diet, I tried some workout, but since I was little, I think about 9, when I started to live w/ my grandpas I got so much weight and my italian family made me grew like that was normal.

You can pretty much imagine how school was for me if you think your the only fatty in the class room, lucky me I got 2 good friends that lasted until graduation (then I moved to another city to start working).

2) I don't know how to express my real feelings, I'm now in a 7 years relationship (and I'm 25) w/ a girl I love but something still haunts me, in my mind I think I lost some opportunities... and I still wonder "what if" I have said what I feel about someone.

I have too many "loved" friends, girls I would date if I could "man up" enough to confess and see what happens (that would mean too that I would break up w/ my current girl)

3) I have some problems regarding money, not that I spend more than I earn, but I still haven't figured out how to save money... my job is very stable (almost 8y carrer) but I'm scared and wonder what would happen if I suddenly get off.

4) I'm very strict about my friends choices, I lost some friends in collegue because they did things I don't aprove, even thought I know everybody is different, I choose to respect somethings and there was one time that pissed me off so much that I realised I was about to break a friendship. One of my girlfriends friend was doing a bday party and in her house everybody was drinking, she started to drink too much then felt asleep. I went to check on her and two of her "friends" where abusing here, I punched both and threw them out of her house screaming for them to not go back. I thought I was right doing this, until she screams at me saying it's her party and her friends. It was a heavy hit on my heart, but made me more adult. I apologized to her and said I would never, ever make this again, because I wasn't going to worry about her anymore, if that's what she want to do. We lost contact, now I think it's 4y already... Sometimes I still miss her, she was a good friend but I can't accept that.

That's just 4 pieces of my broken self into adulthood :)

Sometime I'll post more, now I feel like I need a drink or two.